A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im literally torn been with my ex boyfriend for 5 years got 2 beautiful kids together, we do have our ups and downs but on the weekend we just had a silly argument which resulted in him not coming back all night! i texted him the next day asking for a reason he said he was coming over for his stuff, when he did come over he took most of his things, now i dont know what to do my eldest is asking where his daddy is my youngest is too small to understand (i think) im having trouble sleeping, not eating its really hard, he will see the kids 3 times a week, this is the first day hes had them and he was acting concerned when i said id been to the doc for sleeping tablets, even offering to give me a lift to where i wanted to go! my heads really messed up i just dont know what to think please help me xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): Its hard to say whats going on - but you definately need to talk, and alone,without the children.
Has he met somebody else ? Alot of men won't go until they have somebody to go too.Do you know where he is staying?
Its awful being in the dark,the last to know, its awful for the children too, so make sure they feel very secure,know that your not going to leave them. This will probably mean putting off the nursing training for now - but not for good. They have to come first,hard for you, but worth it.
If your ex is adamant he isnt coming back you have to secure finance, home the lot
But first have that talk with him and demand answers
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): Some people will use a silly argument to get out of a relationship they have wanted to end for quite some time. I'm not saying this is what happened, but I've known people who have done this. The only thing I can think of is trying to talk to him about what bothered him during the argument, what he sees wrong with the relationship, and see if there are ways to fix it. Men seem to bottle things up and make up there mind without trying to find a resolution to the problem.
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A
female
reader, Mummy86 +, writes (9 August 2011):
 dear mrg123 thanks for your reply, basically we argued over the fact i wanted to go to college to do a nursing course he has benn dead against this from the moment i mentioned it, he said he feels iv taken advantage of him how i have i dont know he complains that im with the kids all day and theres no food on the table for him when he gets back this is simply because he says i cant cook whenever i do he makes excuses or just eats it, our relationship hasnt been easy we split up when i was 5 months preg with my youngest and got back just after she was born, apart from that its been good we never really agree on much, i felt that it had gone down hill since he decided to have a vasectomy i think him knowing how i felt about it didnt help eiether.he cant have the children overnight as he says hes staying with a friend, until something else comes up, he was here earlier acting concerened as id been to the doctors for sleeping tablets i love my kids and cant seem to understand what exactly iv done for things to be like this, he simply just said hes not happy :(
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (9 August 2011):
 I am sorry to hear what happened. My first question though is what was the argument about? It's a bit hard to tell completely what is going on here without that. Assuming its as insignificant as you say though what may well have happened is that for him it will have brought some issues to a head and that's why he went. Something else is going on here, under ths surface and in order to fully answer your question we need a little more info. It may be salvageable and it may not, again hard to tell.
Immediately, you have to focus on your kids. They really need you now and I know that doesn't give you much space to grieve and come to terms with this but that is simply how it is. You will have to tell them something and id go for the truth, subtly put, but still the truth. Treat them how you yourself would want to be treated. They have to be your main concern right now, once thats established there will be time to work through this.
Second point, if the kids are away overnight id try and invite a friend or family round to spend the night right now. It will be doubly hard if your left on your own with nobody there; your mind will just rattle around. Hopefully, you will get back to us and we will be able to more, but some more context is needed here. This didnt just come out of the blue though it may feel like it did and to move on/figure out your next move you need to first know what happened and why. Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, openurheart  +, writes (9 August 2011):
hey XX, there is nothing in this world that cannot be solved.You both sit together, sort the things out! and dont forget to say sorry, for whatever happened bad from ur side!!!all the best
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