A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, my girlfriend and i are 18 years old and we have been together for over a year. We're going through a problem which pretty much originated a year ago. During the first few months we started dating, she went on a three day trip to visit friends in another state. While on this trip she didn't contact me at all. When she came back, she didn't talk to me for a day or two which was unusual in my opinion, considering how close we were. I later found out that she became close friends with another guy while on this trip. They uploaded tons of facebook pictures together, made matching shirts, and flirted a bit on facebook. The guy was good looking, too. I asked her about him and she assured me that they were just friends. After a few months passed, i always remained somewhat jealous of this guy. Even though my girlfriend cut back on the flirting with him once i told her it was bothering me, i always had a hunch that there was something between them, which made me frequently question her about him. Over and over again, she assured me that he was just a friend. I eventually thought maybe i was being too protective of her and that i was overreacting, so i backed off the topic. But recently, she left her phone at my house, and i couldn't control myself from reading her messages. I saw that they were still flirting a ton, and they haven't even seen eachother in a year! So i called her that night, full of rage (im usually a pretty chill guy) and she admitted that last year she had feelings for him when they hung out. I mean, yeah, it was a whole year ago, but she had been lying to me all this time. And she only saw him for three days! How can she meet a guy for three days and have it get in the way of our relationship? We were so close, and it took such a long time for us to begin dating, we wanted to make sure we were perfect for eachother. How can we survive together in college if she can't fight the temptation of one goodlooking guy over a three day span? Am i overreacting to this situation? I have also caught her lying to me about several other things, but nothing too serious. And i know i was wrong for reading her messages, but still, i know i wouldn't be the only person out there to do it...
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 I don't think you are overreacting to this. She has betrayed your trust and has continued to do it over a long period. If she can't get this guy out of her head and start telling you the truth then I would be thinking really hard about whether she is the girl for me.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): It's very disrespectful and selfish that she's flirting with that guy and not being honest about it. If I were you, I'd take some time off the relationship and open myself to getting to know other females. See how things develop.
If she ends up with the guy without trying to get you back, she wasn't right for you anyway.
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