A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 years now, all through highschool. we just recently graduated 2 nights ago and he still has yet to spend and ounce of time with me. all he wants to do is hang out with his friends, and go out and party. now im being told that if i "keep up my shit" he is done with me. ive become very insecure about my relationship over the years becasue of past experiences with him, he has hurt me numerous times, and its amazing how im still in this relationship. he doesnt understand why i act the way i do, he thinks its my fault im insecure but its clearly his fault im this way, if he never hurt me before i wouldnt need to worry about something happening again. i want him to understand that him going out all the time and pushing me aside is hurting me alot. and he makes me feel as if i cant tell him that things are bothering me or he is just going to break up with me on the drop of a dime. i dont know what to do about the situation, please helpp! do i stay or call it quits?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 You are hoping that one day he will see the light, realize what a wonderfil woman you are and chance overnight into a new person.
Won't happen. In reality the beast KILLS the beauty, or at least makes her miserable until she is old finally does what she should have done decades ago and spends the rest of her life alone blaming all men for her staying with one guy who didn't care.
So, what do you want? Stay with him and the impossible might happen. Leave and you can start a new life. Might not be better, might even worse but at least it will be a change and a chance. Being alone doesn't bring happiness, but then again, neither is this relationship.
Oh and if by hurt you mean physical hurt, then the choice is gone. You get out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): I say call it quits.Its been four years and you say hes hurt you constantly throughout them years.Get rid of him and quick, You dont sound happy which isnt surprising and he is treating you badly making you feel insecure about yourself and him and i dont feel as though theres any trust in this relationship.
If you do not wish to call it quits you could talk to him about how you feel insecure and why you do and try and make him understand.Also say that he needs to actually spend time with you if he loved you and that he needs to show he can be trusted.
good luck making a decision based on your happiness
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Honey, he's a man.. And a young one at that. Right now it's all about the game, the parties and the friends. You said he's hurt you before and he doesn't seem the least bit concerned that you're still hurting. So my advice is to give it one last shot to talk about things. It has to be somewhere alone and private so you can really say all you want to. But if that doesn't work and he still seems pre-occupied with other things then you need to move on. I'm sorry but that's all you can do.
Hope that helps..
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (17 June 2009):
 call it quits sweetheart. its not fair to you. you just graduated go out single w/some friends and party. leave him in the past and find someone who makes you happy not that makes you feel insecure. goodluck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Honey, you need to let him go.He is insensitive and he is NEVER going to change his ways.
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A
female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Loook love noone makes you insecure, the insecurities are there in everyone, people just worsen them. It doesnt sound like hes been a great help to yours over time. It sounds to me like your just staying with him for comfort and safety and like you dont really wanna be with him anymore. so save yourself and end it.
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