A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated this girl for about 10 months until our breakup two months ago. 10 months may not seem like a long time to fall in love, but this girl really got to me. She broke up because she felt "confused" because she ran into her bastard exbf right before the breakup and she got mixed feelings. She told me she didn't want to hurt me because I was so good to her and didn't deserve being cheated on. They were together for 4 years. She insists she didnt cheat on me with him, I have my doubts, but regardless. two months and I still can't get her off my mind. I've tried everything to get my life back, going out more with my friends, partying, joined a gym, playing sports, spend more time with my family, I've even gone out with a couple different girls!. we've seen each other like twice since but mere coincidence. In the last two months alone I've lost like 25 pounds I used to be 195 now Im at 170. Don't know if she has something to do with it. Sometimes even though I'm a 28 y.o man, who's had his fair share of females, I feel like an immature teenager who just can't let go.I haven't been able to sleep well either, I can't focus at work. and everytime I think she might be with another man I get a funny feeling on the tip of my stomach, a mix of anger, sadness, and helplessnessI deleted all her information, her phone number, her screename, blocked her e-mail address, threw out pictures, cards anything that could possibly remind me of her I threw out, but I simply cannot get over that hump, what do you suggest.
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Ah young man...
The depression diet is not good. If you fell that hard for this gal, then two months is not enough time yet. We all have our grief periods.
And what you are doing is correct. Block her, make her insignificant is the only way you can get past this
you are in love with the memories and feelings she gave you, not her. Those feelings stay for a long time, but TIME really does help.
And realize that she was with this guy for how long? He will always be arounmd, and evben if you twop were together her is gonna be there...she did you a favor..
Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on...you are way too young to be sitting in your house with tears in your eyes listening to The Cure as rain falls .
Believe me I have been there....its not worth it to be depressed over someone that does not love you. Go out to the bars, pick up a chick and drive her home...you'll forget soon enough
A
female
reader, freebird  +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Hi there,
I think its not easy to get over a relationship where you really loved and gave yourself. So I think you need to console yourself. And give yourself time. I am also going through a break up. I can't sleep, I have dark circles around my eyes, my cheeks have sunk. But I am slowly coming up.
Keep doing the things you have been doing, hanging out with family and friends. also don't suppress any feelings especially sadness. Let the tears flow. let those screams come out.
I feel that each relationship is like going to a school where you learn lessons in forgiveness, caring sharing and finally self respect. So love thyself as much as thy love your lover!!
Hope this helps. Another thing which can work is praying for your ex ( if at all you pray) . Or just wishing good for her every night before you go to sleep. Slowly you will come out of any sadness.
So stay afloat! You have company!
FB
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A
female
reader, ErinPatterson +, writes (17 June 2009):
I know. it just stinks..I usually "replace" or go out on the rebound dating and just make sure the rebounders are out to have a good time..dwelling is no good..but we all do it..I'm doing it now and am slowly trying to remove the memory of "him"..its hard..good luck to you..try to smile through it..if you can..
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A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (17 June 2009):
Two months is about the right time to expect to get over a previous relationship. But everyone is different, and it sounds like this may have been the first girl you've had "real" feelings for.
Give it a little more time, it sounds like your ex was just trying to be respectful by letting you go before she started in with her ex again.
You can't change peoples minds just because you want them to see things your way. Move on find someone else, there are plenty of women out there. And there are plenty of damn good one's.
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