| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: While I have gone on 2 dates when I was 23, I still have no idea really what dating is like. Here is my love bio so to speak: I am a single, straight, successful and educated, 31 year old male. I have never had a girlfriend, nor have I ever experienced my first kiss or even a true passionate hug! LOL, while I find most of this quite trivial, I have a few questions. Does anyone else see the concept of having a girlfriend or experiencing the aforementioned things as completely alien and almost unrealistic? What's it like to have a girlfriend to spend the holidays with? What's it like to have someone like you like that? I have tried to find someone, but have failed to do so. Maybe no one has relationships and it's all an illusion of the devil? Perhaps girlfriends are overrated? What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): The only reason you see it way is because your "comfy" being single, it's your routine to do things like that.
Your missing out on something really beautiful if you dismiss relationships and never try to find that amazing connection.
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (28 November 2010):
LOL at the devil part. Sure, everything here is just a coating to hide our true lives. Where have I heard that before? Oh right, that movie called the Matrix....
Jokes aside, I can definitely see where you´re coming from with it almost being unrealistic. I see so many people getting together, breaking up again, etc. that it makes me wonder if true, lasting love actually exists.
What surprises me in your post is that it doesn't seem to bother you much that you haven't had a girlfriend yet. Is the reason you ask because people around you decided they think something's wrong? I think that if you're content the way you are now there's nothing wrong.
That said, at 31 you are one of the few left of your generation that hasn't dabbled in relationships. If insecurity/trust issues are the cause for this, it would be wise to address them before they drag on and cause real problems in your life.
Also, you say you have tried to find someone. What exactly did you do? Did you really like the girl you were after? What were the circumstances?
As for girlfriends being overrated, I do think that relationships aren't always what they're made out to be. Some people feel like only half a person when they're not in a relationship and try to fill that void as soon as possible.
But if you fare well on your own and have other priorities that make the commitment needed for a relationship very hard, you can live a full life too. But I have to be honest: though I'm a classic einzellgänger I would love to love and be loved. To me, it's the icing on the cake.
Sorry for the long post but you asked a lot of questions ;-)
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A
male
reader, acbb +, writes (28 November 2010):
wow...you are missing out on ALOT, its time for you to go out and have some fun!!!
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A
male
reader, drhit1007 +, writes (28 November 2010):
Disagree. Relationships are very much worth it. What's your social life like? I personally believe you need to meet more women and have a close relationship and you'll see why I disagree. I am 10 years younger, had one serious relationship and several other... not so serious relationships.
Go out! Have some fun with friends and meet some women! Don't be afraid to get close to somebody. Go on a date.. turn it into a second, a third. Date other people. Turn those dates into a relationship. I think you're missing out on a very important part of life if you just throw out relationships as illusions.
Good luck man, I'm rooting for ya.
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