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female
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anonymous
writes:Do you think that a 23 year age difference is ok?? I'm 17 and he's 40, and he says that he really loves me, and while I don't think I love him yet (we've only known each other a few months) I do really care about him and can't stop thinking about him. We haven't done anything in the bedroom department yet. Certain things bother me - like what people I know will think of the age difference, but what bothers me even more is the age difference itself and what that would mean in the long term. I know that there might not be a long term future for us, but i just can't get it out of my head that whem I'm 50 he could be in a nursing home or even worse, dead (sorry to be so morbid). We really click and have a connection but I just don't know what to do cos of the age difference, so do you think that everything else can be overcome if you really love someone?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lizabeth +, writes (11 January 2006):
thats kind of tricky. love conquers all. but if a long term thing is what you want, like marriage and stuff then i don't think its the best idea, i know it may be hard to hear this especially if you've heard it off other people but ts true. as you said, when you're 50 he may have passed on (sorry). and even at 50 you're still young. i don't know about you but i couldn't live by myself from 50 onwards and your children may suffer knowing that their father is alot older than you. but this is all only speaking in the long term. my advice, you say you don't think you love him yet, get out of the relationship before you get hurt. the longer the relationship goes on the harder it'll get to leave him. all the best hope of helped x x x x
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female
reader, *deadrainbowpixie* +, writes (11 January 2006):
 Hey, just posting again, cuz I just created an account. My last post was anonymous! I'm the: "A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006)" person :) Just so you know who I am! xoxo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): Hey! I was browsing the internet to see if there are other people like myself, who ate dating older men, and I came across this :) I'm 16 (17 in just over 2 months) and I'm dating a 47 year old, over the internet - we havent met yet, my parents wont let us until I am 18. He has agreed to this, and is coming in 2007. We have been dating over the internet for 19 months now! We do have arguments (mostly due to my mood swings, the bad thing about dating a teenager! hehe) but when we're not arguing, we get along GREAT! We both love eachother dearly, and spend as much time online together as possible. We share similar, well, everything! Neither of us drink or smoke. And we both love animals... So anyway, enough about me, I dont think an age difference matters, apart from what you said, about when were 50ish, our partners will be very old or deceased :( ... BUT that gives us even more of a reason to be together more often and make the most of our lives together :) I wish you both the bestest of luck!! xoxox
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female
reader, 2EsillyaMuse'D +, writes (11 January 2006):
If the two of you truely love one another, then yes. It can work. My boyfriend and I share an age gap of 12 years (or rather, 11 years, 11 months, and one week) and do not find it awkward. People do talk, and my parents do worry, but I trust him to be a gentleman and he is. He's very sweet. An age gap relationship can work just fine provided those in the relationship care for one another, just like any relationship. It's about the people involved, not a number or two.
However, due to the number of people who will talk (and they will, believe me they will), I would strongly advise saving anything in the bedroom department for after marriage. It will help keep both of your reputations in tact if you make it clear to everyone that your relationship is emotional, not physical. After all, if an older man goes around sleeping with a young girl, people label him a pedophile. If a young girl goes around sleeping with an older man, she's gold digging. If, however, both make it a point of saving themselves and their integrity, then it demands respect from others.
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female
reader, kamelionchic +, writes (10 January 2006):
One thing, you sound mature for a 17 year old, so your question does deserve some serious thought. My question to you is, what do you know about this man? Has he been married before? Does he have a history of dating girls who are much younger than him? When a man consistently pursues much younger girls, it is a sign that he is insecure and usually immature. If you really feel you love him, continue with caution. You don't need to be suspicious of every move he makes, just keep your eyes open. If he is always calling to cancel plans with you or has a list full of excuses for any questionable actions he makes, I would just cut it off. Being that you are 17, you truly have your whole life ahead of you, where he has already experienced half of his. I am 22 and I can say with confidence that I am a much different person than I was 5 years ago. Not to say that applies to everyone. But I was very mature for my age too. If nothing else, learn what you can from the relationship. Do I believe "Love conquers all?" True Love? Yes. Infatuation? No. That's a question only you can answer.
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