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male
,
anonymous
writes: how can I STOP ARGUING WITH MY WIFE AND GET RELATIONSHIP ON TRACK Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (2 February 2006):
 Listen to what she is not saying. Try to read beteewn the lines....
We women are never as direct as we should be...x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): Listen to her and somethings you will agree and disagree to but tell her you want to sit and talk you go first or she but let one person talk at a time so the other can listen If not try writing it in a letter my man has done that and sometimes I could read it and think about it before exploding its hard but a relationship is alot of hard work and working together do things like to help her out just out of the blue when she least expects it so she will be happy write her little love notes put them in her purse when she least expects it do what it takes to make her happy and believe me you'll become happy and she'll be more open to listen to the things you need If you start to argue walk out of the room tell her you need space then when your ready go back in calm. Good luck Dude
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): seriously guy i had the same problem and 2 little words can make all your problems go away . ready for them its a huge secret dont tell anyone else here goes...YES DEAR . now you try it . or just go to a happy place you know while she is bickering .....beer....food...baseball...boobies...dude your in a no win situation either get ready for alot of dr phil type talking or just say it man ...YES DEAR lol
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (9 January 2006):
 try looking at each other as the people you met and fell in love with more often , sometimes day to day things and problems can make you forget how special each of you really are to each other.
when me and my husband start argueing too much i take a minute to call over to him and just smile at him and mean it, everthing stops and he melts everytime and its great to see that twinkle in each others eyes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): Firstly, understand that there is no such thing as a relationship or marriage, without conflict or arguing. But excessive arguing damages relationships especially when there is no resolution. Hurt feelings can fester and grow inside a person. Sounds like you are both strong people and people with different personalities, opinions and feelings "lock horns" with one another.
Remember, resolving a disagreement can create a deeper understanding and respect between a couple. I think you and your wife are stuck..you both cannot 'effectively disagree and find solutions'. A change in perspective will help. Some helpful tips I have are: Don't blame; take responsibility for yourself. Blaming puts your partner in a defensive position. Don't tell your partner that they are wrong. If you do, you can be assured that the "wrong" partner will fight even harder to prove that they are right. Most importantly, listen. Try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and make an effort to understand how she feels. Don’t prepare your rebuttal while your partner talks. Instead, try to work on accepting what your partner is really saying. Remember, just because you have differing perspectives doesn’t make one of you right and the other one wrong. You both just need to learn to deal with conflict effectively and in a mature manner. These suggestions I put forth here, sound easy but in reality, they are difficult to put into practice. It takes constant effort and discipline and an absolute determination to make your marriage work. However, if you and your wife make that commitment, then I’m certain you’ll create a marriage based on love and respect. A good recommendation is to seek marriage counselling..these professionals are trained to give you and your wife great ideas on how to curb the arguing and learn to resolve issues, in a positive way. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, mister-squid +, writes (9 January 2006):
 It depends on why you are arguing. My girlfriends parents, for example, are arguing all the damn time. Her Dad doesn't want me there, even though he's moved out.. Which I find unfair. It doesn't just affect you two, if there are children involved you should think about them.
Just try to see why you are arguing, and who's causing them, what other factors are involved, and try to resolve it. I can't say any more than that due to an extreme lack of detail in the question ^^
Good luck.
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