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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi I have been in a relationship for 5 and a half years. We lived together for approx. 4 years. During this time we had loads of argument and he asked me to leave a few times. Now he asked me to leave in December and I left but I just cannot get over him. Can you tell me how I can get him out of my system, even if I do not want to? I know if I go back to him he will gladly accept me but he won't make the first move and I do not want to either.Please just tell me how to cope with this situation and whats the best thing to do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lizabeth +, writes (10 January 2006):
ooo deary me. its hard if you don't want to release him from your system but when hes out of your head its worth it. lots of retail theropy, baths, time to yourself, quality time with your family, lots of walks to think, and the best thing i think is just relaxing and laughing or talking it over with your friends. facing the truth helps. and think about all those times you fought. my advice he sounds stubborn, don't go back to him if you keep arguing. lifes to short to waste it arguing with someone that your clearly not meant to be with. if he asks for you back, in time you'll have the will power to say 'no, i'm happy.' hope i've helped all of the advice ive given you has been from personal experience xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): it really depends on what the arguements were about and if you both wanted to comprimise about things.there is no use in both having an arguement and neither one wants to back down there has to be a happy medium.if he still loves you and you love him and there is no one else for both of you you need to ask him why did you want me to leave and does he still love you.if you still love him enough to work on these problems then so everything you can do make sure that happens because just trying to get him out of your mind and forget about him is completly the wrong move when you both havent tried to sort through issues and what the underlieing problem is.you are saying if you go back to him he will accept you but he wont make the first move,if you really want him back soooo bad then you make the first move but my advise is make sure it is the right move and do it for the right reasons and talk to him in a calm manner and explain to him that you do love him and you want to go to counciling together,and if he is willing then great if he is not wanting to go then you go anyway and trust me sooner rather than later he will follow.
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