A
female
age
26-29,
*reannaMae
writes:I am 15 years old and want a baby. I do not beleive i am completely ready to have a baby, but what parent is? I have recently moved away from all my family and friends due to my parents divorce. Having parents that were together was really diffacult for me and my siblings. They would fight a lot, and my dad left atleast once a year. It's not like they were horrible to eachother, they were intamite and everything, but they had their moments. I don't want that for my baby. And having a husband would be like caring for two children. I think my baby would like his/her parents living this way because i know i do. I know having a baby is not all fun and games, it is hard work. Having eight younger brothers and sisters i have a ton of experience. My childhood friend and exboyfriend is someone i could see myself having a child with, he is very responsable, we both are. We have the same religion. Our mothers were bestfriends since we were babys, and i know him very well. Me and my baby would visit him all the time. I think having a baby with him would bring us closer. We are close as it is, but i think our relationship would grow, and who knows, maybe in time we would get married. I know having a baby is not all fun and games, it's hard work. I want a baby for many reasons. I want a baby to work hard for, to live for, breathe for. I go to an alternative school. My school has a free day care and all. Each day of the week i would go to school, take my baby to the day care for a few hours while i do my school work, take my baby to my mom go to work and be home by 7. All the money i will make will go twards my baby, a car and into savings. I will have my beautiful baby to come home to, teach, play with and care for. I believe i am emotionaly stable, and could deal with waking up every two hours to care for my baby. I would be exhausted 90 percent of the time, but that's okay with me. I know having a baby means my childhood is over, and i'm fine with that. I don't like this life i live, i don't enjoy hanging out with friends, going to partys, having sleepovers, etc. I do enjoy taking care of babys/children, and want my own. I've never wanted something/someone so badly. Having a child will be tuff, it's not like babysitting, this baby is not an animal, it is a human being, something me and another will make, I can not just hand my baby off, and that is exactly what i want. What i dream of, and what do poeple feel when their dreams come true? Happiness. Me and my baby, and babys father will be happy. Please give me advice on these desicions i may or may not make. Thank you.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 My parents aren't married and split up when I was 3. They still fought a lot. So there goes your argument for not getting married. Parents who want to fight will always fight whether they are together or not. And growing up having to listen to both my parents backstabbing each other and having to "choose" side in their petty arguments, briging between them.. NOT FUN!
Anyways, you will ruin this poor guys life if you have him have a child with you now. And for all you know he might get full custody of the child if you are judged unfit. So the baby might turn out to be more his than yours.
Thing is, you just don't know yet what's going to happen. You and him might not at all end up loving each other after a baby, you might end up hating each other. You paint this all with rose colours, and rainbows and puppies, and once you have a baby there will be world peace.
If you really want a baby so much, work hard to create the best home you can for it, education, money, stability! At 15 do you REALLY think you have what it takes? Do you not think your future children will be happier if you wait until you are old enough?
Reading your post you are not as mature as you think you are.
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 As far as friends go, go out, have fun, be confident, and go to clubs. People always find it easier to talk to someone who is confident in themselves. So don't be afraid just to go up to someone and say hi. Because even if you're faking the confidence, when people start liking you and wanting to get to know you, then the confidence will come naturally. If you find it difficult, add people you've met on facebook first and chat to them on there, Then it'll make it easier when you meet up in person.
Keep in contact with your ex, but don't let him distract you from communicating with new people.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (15 April 2010):
I have read so many questions recently about girls the same age as you wanting a baby. This may be a comfort to you as it's just a normal hormonal thing and a phase that a lot of girls go through at your age. I'm sure you know all the good reasons not to have a baby as you already have several answers. I'll just skim over them:
Your Future in hindered
Independance is gone
You'll be tired
No time for yourself or with your friends
Losing education
No money to provide for the baby.
Just thought it would be a comfort to you that loads of other girls your age feel the same way, and you will grow out of it (until of course you seriously consider starting a family.)
If you want something cute and cuddly to love or give your attention to, why don't you get a kitten? =]
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (15 April 2010):
 If you don't like your life, then why would you want to bring a baby into it? Are you irresponsible and immature enough to think that a baby will really make life easier on you?
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (15 April 2010):
 15 is too young to have a baby. however mature and sensible you are, it is too young emotionally. having a child means you have to teach them everything about the world, and how can you do that with virtually no life experience? you cant teach them things you dont know yourself.
also you seem in a rut in your life at the minute, but if you maybe join a club or get a hobby you will meet more friends your own age and start to have fun and enjoy your childhood. please dont throw it away, my best friend had a baby at 15 and has regretted it ever since, because once you get to 17-18 you will want to be going out with friends, not tking care of a child. looking after your siblings has given you the impression that there is nothing else you want or are good at, but that isnt true. focus on your education, focus on meeting new people, and then wen you are in a stable relationship and are older you should start thinking about having babies.
having a baby now would be immensely selfish, because you would be doing it because you wanted a baby, not because you could bring the baby into a secure, loving, and financially secure home.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (15 April 2010):
 The thing is you want a baby great but is it fair to a child to bring it into a world when your not prepared for it.
I believe in marriage and that if you have a child you should do so out of that union.
BUt... it seems like you have really thought this outs you no the ups and downs and maybe it will be a good thing.
But... your 15 in school and you work but my question is how much money can you expect to make at your age and not even haven graduated HS yet.
You will take the baby to your mom... hmm is your mom ok with that i dont kno any mom that would be ok with her 15 yr old having a baby, or sex for that matter.
In my opinion your being selfish all you say is i want i want i want, I feel when you have a child you should do it because you want to give some one the gift of life and bring them into the best possible beginning, you shouldn't have a child to fulfill some selfish emotional need, because you dont like your life your life is going to be that babys life too and a baby wont change your situation at all it will make things worst more then likely.
A baby will not love you and care about you they are needy selfish creatures, so you realize the relation ship will be one sided you supplying the baby taking.
My suggestion get counseling for your issues go to college get in a stable healthy relation ship then have your baby.
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A
female
reader, letsmakeitlast4ever +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Ask yourself these questions;1) are you financially ready for a baby? babies cost a lot of money. they need diapers, formula, clothes, bottles, baby food, a crib, a car seat, and so, so, SO many other things. and not to mention all the doctor bills and peditrician bills. can you, at 15, afford all this?2) studies show that children need both a mother and father figure in their lives. do you want your baby not to have a father? do you want to live the rest of your life with your child wondering why he/she wasn't good enough for their father to stick around? do you really want to bear that burden on a child?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): Even though you are trying to sound mature you are not. You make it seem so perfect but life isn't. You want your own baby because that's the only life you knew, taking care of your young siblings, but there's more out there you have not experienced yet. It's sad you were taught you came to this world only to take care of somebody else. Evidently that's the only thing your parents show you how to do and compensated you for. You are stuck in the same pattern of thoughts. You need to grow up first and develop a personality before you can become a good mother. You think you know what you want but you don't. Why are you so sure your ex boyfriend will want to have your baby? If you are so good together Why aren't you together anymore? You can keep repeating having a baby is hard work and a big responsibility but you don't know how hard is to find and keep a job and how expensive a baby is. It's funny you say all of your money will go to the baby and to a car and to savings. How much do you think you can earn with a little part time job? How much do you think a car costs? You are counting you'll have a healthy baby and there will be no other problems too.. What about your needs? Won't you eat? Won't you need clothes and food and gas? There are so many wrong things with that plan of yours... Grow up first. Get a life of your own before you decide to bring another one to this world.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Does your potential baby-daddy KNOW he's a potential baby-daddy? I ask because you mentioned you that you are aware that a baby would take your childhood, just thinking if he's fine with it because, but that's my curiosity talking, back to the answer:
"Having a child will be tuff, it's not like babysitting, this baby is not an animal, it is a human being, something me and another will make"
That line sounds like something out of social sciences class, proves you understand the theory of having a child, that's something you should know any way, doesn't prove preparation though.
Happiness is dictated by emotions. Therefore, if you truly believe that introducing a baby into your life will make you happy, you are displaying some lack of emotional stability...it'll do the opposite of all the things you've mentioned.
Actually, that gets me realizing that you know all the obvious downsides of child birth at this age...you listed them in your post. The problem is, I don't think you realize just how co-dependant your list is. You need your mom to take of him when you are at work(and that time frame will increase when you leave school)and you need your ex-boyfriend to become current enough to sleep with you in order for your baby to arrive.
I don't know, good luck how ever you decide.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): You say you believe you are emotionally stable but alot of what you said tells me you are not. Your own situation at home may not have been good, but children who grow up with two LOVING parents is the way to go. Also I know this is hard to understand but you are going to feel so much more different from age 15 to lets say 22 or 24. Not about having a baby, but about life all together. SOOOOO much stuff is going to happen to you over the next 4 or 5 years it's going to make your head spin. Mostly, you want to give a baby a good home right? Well then you need to work on finishing growing up youself first. Finish school, get a good job and so forth. Maybe meet a GOOD man and get married one day and start a family. Or not. The point is you will be more ready to make that decision by then.
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