A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been trying to have a baby for three months.My boyfriend is 18, and we both have agreed we're ready. We already live together. I don't have to worry about dropping out because I do online schooling. The monthly disappointment of a negative pregnancy test makes me wonder if it's just not meant to be?help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Congratulations on the desire to have a child. Don't get discouraged - it may be the right thing for you !Creating life is one of the most important things a person can accomplish. No drugs or alcohol. Please eat a well balanced diet with lots of leafy green vegetables. Take a multivitamen everyday that contains folic acid. During sex be on your back with a pillow under your rear-end. After he is done stay on your back for around 15 minutes. Sex should be on a very regular basis. As soon as you think you are pregnant see a doctor for care. You have been told about the negatives but there are many positives.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): I'm a citizenship teacher and i know all about the law, so your boyfriend can get charged with rape, and since you're 15 he can get two years. So what i'm saying is if you're desperate for a baby wait until you're 16! I think you should wait a bit longer but you've obviously got your heart set on it! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): If you look past all the personal attacks, I think you will see a general consensus across the board that having a baby at your age is a bad idea and hence not to be, at least not yet anyway.
Many people of different age, gender and nationality have answered your question, I'm of the opinion that you are free to do as you chose but you really should consider the opinions you have read here, we're not trying deny you the love that a baby would give you, we just think that you'd be better served to seek that love elsewhere until such a time as you are mature enough to make an informed decision on the matter.
I advise you to look for some teenage Mom support groups and speak to real mothers that are your age or have had a child at your age. They're the only people that can truly give you insight into the real hardships they have had to endure.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): You seem to have a general ida of the consequences and the hardships you face if you continue this attempt to have kids.
But I don't think you fully understand them. And at 15, I don't think you trully can.
There are people who ahve had good and even exceptional lives in your situation. But this is still not a situation that any of them would soon repeat or advise others to follow.
There is so many better things you need to be thinking about right now. Like not breaking the law and having sex under-age. You clearly do not undertand just how much trouble both yourself and your alleged boyfriend are playing at.
You are both walking a thin line over very dangerous ground. One slip... and it's 'So long and thanks for all the fish'.
At least wait until you are 18 and have a better chance at giving the child the life and prospects it deserves.
Flynn 24
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reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 At 15 and have been trying only 3 months and already asking the question "is it meant not to be" is already a good indication of not thinking this through ... and leaving it to FATE only. Yet, there are all kinds of factors that you need to consider before you resign to "fate", e.g. medical/clinical, legal, financial, psychological, etc. etc. etc.
Many couples ... usually older ones ... will only ask that question of "fate" after they have tried everything ... I mean, EVERYTHING, for many years ... to conceive a loved one. Hormonal treatment, sexual positions, operations, in vitro, yoga, "witch doctors" LOL, accupuncturte, etc etc. In many Asian countries, they even try "adoption" first as a means to "fish" for birth siblings (they say it will take the pressure off for trying too much so the woman will get more relaxed and voila! actual pregnancy herself). Are you willing to do this? Lets say, be a foster mother first for a new-born?
You do not live in an Asian country whose family values and extended family support are different (read: more dependable). You live in a highly capitalist society, where to many - young and old - the economy is not on their side. And extended family support is non-existent or very minimal. Instead, the state has that responsibility (which may mean taking away your child if they deemed necessary).
If you are happy to be a hair stylist, so be it. Stylists too, provide a service to the society. If your boyfried is a good mechanic, that is great too, we need him to fix our cars when they break down. If your dad is a security guard on duty at nights, that is good, because during the day he can look after your baby/child.
Perhaps you can do this in the meantime: Make a list of all the pros and cons of having a baby at your age. Include as many variables as you (and your boyfriend, and your dad, and your aunts and uncles, and your friends, and your online teachers, and more! get the drift? LOL) as you can possibly think and get from those people. Include in this list, your optmistm as well as pessimism (that's why they call it pros and cons) on having a baby at your age. Also, include any potential illnesses or congenital deformities (debilitating or not) that a baby could have (look at statistics of what babies could have) which will have consequences in your life too.
As a person, you may be quite content to not be bothered with materialistic needs, for instance. But like people say, education is expensive, and your child may not be the same as yours in his/her needs and thirst for education. Would you deny his/hers if s/he grew up to be so gifted/talented yet in the capitalist world you are in, s/he would be denied access to reach his/her potentials simply because you could not afford it?
You sound like a very determined person, but I think deep down you do want to listen to what people say. Otherwise you would not be on this site.
Please take time off from reacting directly and immediately from all these comments that tell you things you did not want to hear. They would not be saying anything at all if they did not care about you (and your future child). "Read" beyond what has been written literally ... and this means, analyse the words beyond their litteral meanings. There are soooo many levels of analysis that you can do with all the comments here. If you are not able to do it, ask again (if necessary, also in this site).
If you feel that you need to feel a void in your life, like caring for baby, perhaps you can also start now by volunteering in a shelter for abused women or children (you may need to be trained to do this, so find out first). Or, volunteer in a hospital where they have a ward for terminally ill children. I am sure you will have an insight of the experience some emotions that some unfortunate parents (and the children of course) in life. Life is not all rosy, you know :-)
I hope you make the right decision.
Cat
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 February 2009):
 Right. *Ahem* ATTENTION ALL WHO WISH TO COMMENT ON THIS POST: (sorry for shouting but I want to make sure that this message gets through)
There is no need for name-calling or abusive language on this thread, or any other here on DearCupid. I have brought this question to the attention of the moderators, and it will be closely monitored from now on. If ANY post with abusive language gets through, it will be removed. If anyone tries to post an abusive answer, and this includes EVERYONE, including the original asker, the answer will not be posted.
If things do not improve, this question may wind up being closed to any further answers. Poster, perhaps you could be more specific about what it is exactly that you require advice about. Remember that we are not medical people here, and advice to that issue is probably worth what you paid for it.
Thank you all for remembering the purpose of DearCupid and for respecting and following the guidelines. Take care.
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reader, This_face  +, writes (18 February 2009):
Alright, since you didn't like the other answers, let me give a try. You said you don't want opinions on your boyfriend, yourself or anything like that. You said you just want to know if it was meant to be. Now, I don't know anyone who can say for sure what is meant to be or not meant to be, but hun, this just doesn't seem to be adding up. If you've been trying to get pregant and havn't so far, maybe there is a reason. Like you said, maybe you aren't meant to have a child right now. That doesn't mean you never will or that your situation or intentions are wrong. My suggestion is that you make a visit to your doctor if you have not already. Or, talk to someone who had a child at a younger age. See what their opinions and advice might be. I can't tell you not to have a child or what it meant to be or not meant to be. I have my strong opinions but you asked me to keep them to myself. With this I will have to end my answer, since there is nothing else you wish to hear. Like I said, it doesn't seem to be meant to be right now since you've been trying and it hasn't happended. Also, I suggest you go visit a health professional and seek advice from people who you know in person. Hope this helps.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 February 2009):
If you come onto an advice website announcing that you are planning to have a baby that apparently your father is going to support, you are going to get some feedback from adults who have a whole lot of life experience. If you expected anything different, you are either naive to the extreme or are merely being provocative.
In either case, the person you should be asking this question, about if there is something wrong with you because you haven't gotten pregnant, is your OB/GYN. What did her (or his, can't be sexist here) examination of you reveal? Is your menstrual cycle regular? Are you at an optimal weight and state of health? The entire question doesn't belong here, it belongs at the doctor's office. Your OB/GYN should be able to answer this question, and honestly much more accurately than a bunch of strangers who have never laid eyes on you will be able to.
If your father is happy to support you and your boyfriend and your baby, who am I to tell you that you that you can't or shouldn't have it? What did your father say when you let him know what your plans for his income are?
If you are having trouble coping with the fact that you haven't become pregnant in 3 months of trying, you may find your patience stretched thin by the demands of motherhood combined with school compounded by the necessity to earn money. I would suggest that you ask your OB/GYN for a referral to a counselor who will help you cope with the stress brought on by the failure to conceive.
Good luck, you'll need it!
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reader, sparkleworks  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 First of all I'd like to apologise to you for all of the negative comments you've received from posters... guys, that is all REALLY uncalled for, this is an ADVICE site, not somewhere for you to go on a witchhunt after some girl you don't even know. Geez.As to your question, I totally understand your reasons for wanting to have a baby and realise that you're not going to change your mind based on anything that any of us are going to say to you, but I feel the need to reiterate everything that Cerberus said... if you don't wait a few years before doing this, then it will turn out very very badly for your boyfriend on the legal side. You seem to really love him so I'm sure it's not a risk you want to take.If you really want a baby that badly than a couple of years won't make that much of a difference to you, right? Spend some time on yourself and your boyfriend, and then when you reach 18 and it's safe... go for it if it's what you really want.My mum and dad were 18 and 19 when they had me, and I've had the best life and none of us have ever gone without anything. And if they were a couple of years younger, I'm sure they would have managed, but there would have been difficulties that can be easily avoided by just waiting a while. I honestly think you'll be doing yourself and your boyfriend a huge favour by putting it off until then.Good luck with everythingxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe personal blows about me being selfish aren't called for. None of you know my boyfriend, so you're in no place to judge him and claim he's a "loser boyfriend". I don't live in my father's basement, and I'm not making my boyfriend and dad pay for the kid.Look, my question was, whether you thought it was meant to be, not "question my maturity"I understand you all are trying to help me, but just because I'm young does not mean I'm ignorant.My kid won't be embarrassed because it has a young mother? That's just not true! Kids today are more embarrassed if their parents are OLD... and just because I'm young does not mean my kid will be raised in a shitty environment and be poor.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Ok, well I unlike others believe in young love...but honey, why now? Why not wait until your done with your online schooling, and have landed your job, and you and your boyfriend have moved out on your own? At that point in your life you could make sure that you and your boyfriend can take care of that precious child by YOURSELVES and you can be proud of it. At that point you will be able to give your child everything it needs and wants! And for the meantime, you can start putting away money for whatever you might need in the future. If you truly are as responsible as you say you are, which I think you are from your postings, then put aside your wants and put the future childs first and wait until your completely ready mentally, physically, money wise, and have a stable life (job, degree, and your own place with your boyfriend)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): ok, and adding to the "you are ready for reality"
pleaaase .
do you know what to do if your child has 42 degrees of fever? do you know when its time for feeding her? how much a good education costs (and omg, if you tell me that you dont care what education she/he gets than you are not ready to be a mther at all) what about when she wants to go out, youll nee dto give her pocket money. what if she wanst that super expensive barbie? do you know how to protct her against men who have othe rintrests? what about the sex talk?
hve youever seen someone die? have you worked ( real legal paid job, not babysitting. i mean a REAL job) have you stayed late nights working? have you had your heartbroken? have you cared about anyone else but yourslef
half of those no. becaus eyou dont have the age.
look, when they say age does not matter, maybe for love it doesnt. at times. but a BABY. you are risking someone elses life do you can have a doll with whom you can play with.
at 15 i was a brat., a bitch and someone who wanted to just not wor at all.
now i want a job, i want a family and i want house.
time change s the person and you will regret having it at such a young age.
you want to? go for it, talk to your doctor. get a perscription to geet yourself pregnant.
but i swear, if that child grows up to be a nobody, if that child does not have a proper education, a proper life, a porper mther, if that child (god forbid) dies of pneumonia, does not have the life she/he desrves just remeber you have no one else to blame, but yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Agreeing with stacy, in a nicer way.
What she is saying is that look how you have approched the situation.
trust me, when you have a child that YOU will have to go away and you will have to be only about the child
look on ALL you wil be missing out!
parties, YOUR PROM!!, speciall late dinners..maybe a late night job interview.. or even during day time you cant go shopping alone, you will have bad sleep..etc tec.
it is a lot to take in.
and frankly, I am suprised your father is allowing this.
Look, stacy is right. Hyothetically speaking, say your bf does break up with you. what will you do? he might just leave at any minute girl. you have to take in that possibility, and being as younga s you are, you nt even have a legal age to have a proper job., seriously. and its not even about a top notch university. its a baout a proper education. how do you expect rasing a child with good eduaction to bcome someone if YOU lack of half of those things? high school shows you so much that there is to life.
hoenstly, re-think all of this. please. this might be the biggest blessing of your life or the biggest mistake.
you are not ready for this, not mentally and not physically
great, you have babysitted. really? I work in summer camps. i spend day and night with children for three weeks. and they driv me CRAZY. you have baby sitted for a few hours, that is NOT experience honey.
sweetheart, please, re think the whole situation. you are only a baby yourself. and i know this will piss you off, and sur, you might have had a toucgh life that mad eyou grow up and mature bebfre the otehr girls (or not) but 15 is still 15 despite your life experience.. which is barely any!
we all here care for you, and we all want what is best for you from WHAT YOU have offered us as information.
so do not get mad at any of us. we are just giving you insights.
You cannot have a baby and expct to be living of your dads income. you just cant.
to start with that is the Worng way to raise a child. You have to, not be economically indepndent fully, but at leats have your own life, and you dint even have it legally.
why do you wnat a child so badly anyways? why now? why not wait?
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 February 2009):
 So your boyfriend and father will be supporting this child, not you. You and your boyfriend can't even afford to be on your own, why should you have a child. God this is moronic. You are in a hurry to have a child in your father's basement. And you are responsible and grown up. And I said nothing about you going to a top notch school, I'm talking about the child, but you are mentioning yourself. But you can support your child on baby sitting money and your father's income. And you are just supporting our posts, you can't afford to be on your own so unless your dad wants to pay for you and your loser boyfriend's apartment, you will be raising a child in daddy's house for a few years. Grow up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Good god atleast have the damn job beforehand. Not a "dream job" of what you would like to do. Jesus, I would love to be an actress. So I'm going to have a kid and say my plans are to become an actress. And like Martini has said, you have no idea of the expenses. My boyfriend and I are planning to move out, no children, I can't find a job with this economy, and my boyfriend has a damn good job. And guess what, we still can't afford a decent place, making $433 a week. Isn't this about your situation? You have no job, and are going to be relying on his money. And guess what else, food for yourself, food for the child, rent, clothes, how about bills in general? A car, gas for said car, car insurance, health insurance, phone bill, cable bill if you want tv, baby furniture. Hospital bills for when the baby comes. Stop living in a fantasy world. You have no clue how much everything costs because you are 15 and think everything will be fine because you have big plans of finishing high school and being a hair dresser. Well you need more than high school for that too so how do you plan on paying for cosmetology school? I have yet to see a beauty salon that takes on high school students with no experience. But in your world I'm sure it happens all the time. Try actually finding a job and see how hard it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): In short: then do it.
Since his sperm isn't getting to your egg, you can go to your parents or your doctor and ask alternatives in getting pregnant.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo everyone trying to give me actual advice on the situation, thanks. To everyone making personal blows and accusing my boyfriend of cheating without even knowing our situation, I think you have a little growing up to do yourself and the laws on statutory rape differ depending on the state, we've already looked into that.I don't live with my boyfriend alone, we live with my dad. No, I'm not rich? I'm not some stuck up little girl attempting to have a kid for attention.Who says I'm even trying to go to some top notch university? I'm not! My boyfriend and my father both have well paying jobs, and I babysit for my dad's girlfriend and make good money off of it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Responding to OP with her comments to mine:
I was sure you didn't think children are all fun and games and as you are aware, they are expensive. However, even if you plan on becoming a hair stylist and you're positive you can manage it, think about this:
1) How are you going to finish high school with a baby who needs 24/7 attention? 2) How are you going to find work in this crappy economy? 3) How will you afford to go to school to become a hair stylist? 4) What if you need to take night classes? Who's going to take care of the kid? 5) How much do you think renting a place cost these days? 6) Who's going to take the kid to the doctor's? Who's going to take the kid to school? 7) So you're going to have a kid, pay for its expenses, go to school at the same time AND work to make money in this crappy economy AND rent a place? Are you sure you will be able to manage that?
In B.C., Canada, the pay minimum is $8.00/hr which is roughly $6.30 US/hr. Now, let's say you move out to a place, you now have to think about maintenance fees, rental fees, if the neighborhood is safe for children, food, basic utilities, transportation costs, basic shelter like clothing, shoes, etc, medical fees, insurance, costs for a babysitter, daycare, umm... Etc.
So you think you can manage all of this?
At age 15, say age 16 by the time you get a kid, where do you think you can work to make money to take care of your kid? McD's? Wendy's? A janitor? A farmer? Now, you're going to be there for hours. Who's going to take care of your kid?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): I'm only saying that by getting pregnant your openly admitting to under age sex. I know I sound horrible but I'm only trying to say is that you're putting yourself in danger (that sounds way over the top but it's true!). You're also too young to have the responsibility, you can't just get rid of a child when it's past the cute stages of a baby!
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 February 2009):
Like I knew you aren't going to listen to any of us. But your decision is a selfish one. Why not wait until you are old enough to have a decent job wth good pay to be able to buy him/her everything she/he needs? If you are so mature then you should be able to figure out that there is no rush. If you are in a truly loving relationship that won't ever end then what the fuck is the hurry? The kid will have to tell other people his mom had him at 15 when they ask "why is your mom 25...? my mom is 30". Because yes, kids do this. And yes, he will be embarrassed. You want a kid for someone to love you, it's selfish. You care only about yourself. Think about the life you are going to have when the guy you are "in love" with leaves you. You aren't home so how do you plan on raising the kid by yourself at 16 or 17 with no job. Or you do have a job, who watches the kid? You rely on your parents? OR do you have to pay a babysitter? Cause there goes all your money. And with parent's help you aren't very independent are you? You claim you are responsible enough for a kid yet you have no plans for the "what ifs". Cause chances are you and this guy won't last. Cause come on, you are 15. How often do people who date at 15 really make it. And god damn if you are so in love then it makes no sense why you can't wait until you are even legal to get married. This will be a bastard kid who grows up poor because his mother wanted someone to love her unconditionally. Think about someone besides yourself. And since you will do it anyway, hopefully you will think of us years from now when your life is a shithole because you did the "responsible thing" having a kid at 15. You don't know what to expect either, so that post made no sense. Any first time parent at any age can never know exactly what to expect. And at 15 and wanting a kid, you are definitely no genius at parenting. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Okay, nobody seems to have mentioned this properly so I will, you are under the age of consent as you're probably already aware.
What you might not realize though, is that a baby is concrete proof that he has slept with you and he will be prosecuted for statutory rape and sent to jail, so you will in effect have to raise the baby on your own, for at least 3 years, depending on what state you live in, and assuming child services don't remove it permanently from your custody.
Is this man your legal guardian? Because without consent from your legal guardian for privacy the doctor/midwife is free and very likely to contact child services and the police to inform them of your case. Whether you like it or not in the context of the law everytime you sleep together he is raping you and legally what he's doing is considered abuse.
Plus this guy will be become a registered sex offender for life which means he'll find it extremely difficult to find a job and depending on the state you live in might not be allowed to reside with or near children.
You came here to look for support on whether it's meant to be, but the reality of this is neither of you have really thought this through. If neither of you were responsible enough to even check any of this, then what makes you so sure you can handle a child?
I'm not trying to scare you or say what you want or are doing is wrong, but you need to do a lot more research into raising children, to make sure you really can give a baby a great life at this moment in time, you can't raise a baby on love alone and while you FEEL you are ready, you owe it to your potential child to MAKE SURE!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsmartass "anonymous" - thanks for telling me about all the negatives of having a child, but I'm well aware of these things. Child birth is well worth the gift of a baby.Children may be "annoying" to you, but my child will not be a burden. I know what I'm getting myself into and it's not annoying to have to take care of a baby.I'm not quite sure why you attacked me with the boyfriend thing, but my boyfriend is not an asshole like most men. It seems like you've been through the custody battle, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that if you did, but I know my boyfriend a little better than that. I'm not getting myself involved with anyone who would ever screw me over like that... but thanks for your concern.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): I think you're a stuck up bitch, who needs to wake up and try babysitting. Why did you post the question if you aren't going to listen to the answers, or at least take them into consideration. It is also ILLEGAL, you're boyfriend can be charged with rape!
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reader, princessjasmine +, writes (18 February 2009):
I personally think that when you want a child you feel a little empty and hopeless, as if you kind of dislike urself.. I remember wanting a child when I was super depressed about where my life was going, as if I had no one to love me... you need to realize that you have so much right now, you have a bf that loves you and I'm assuming a great family.. you don't need a child to make you feel complete... there's a time for everything, and I don't think at 15 you are ready at all... I thought I was ready too at 22 but I'm REALLY NOT... I'm so glad I get to focus on MYSELF, my career, find the right guy, you have a good guy, focus on him, believe me you are too young and you're seeing things on the surface right now, just like we all do when we really want somthing, but ask friends who have children, they'll tell you how dificult it is. I think you need to be a little patient and really embark on this journey called life, there is SO MUCH ahead of you, you're a kid yourself, learn about YOU before you become responsible for another being.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Ok. I am very sorry, and this will NOT be the answer you are looking for but you are not even an adult. 15? Are you serious? look, I am only 17 and yeah, I fancy the idea of having a baby, but that means I could not go out iwth my friends, I could not go to parties, to dinners?and fine, homeschooling. That does not give you a dimploma recognizable enough for a good university and therefore you won't have a job able to sustain you and your baby.Please, reflect on what you are doing. What do your parents say? and friends?If everyone is telling you the same thing, maybe you should listen to them and I know this is a hard thing when you are a teenager) but trust me. It is not the time yet. Please, trust all of us on this one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG FOR A CHILD. you have at least 10 more years before you have a child! I had a child young and after you have a kid your life is over, it's all about taking care of the child you should wait and live a little and have a good time before thinking about a child.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"prego_18" - good luck to you and your husband and I wish the best for you two and your baby. Thank you."stayc" - thanks. It's not that I don't feel like my boyfriend loves me unconditionally, I know he does but the kind of love between him and I and the kind of love between a child and me are different. He treats me exactly how I've always wanted a boyfriend to treat me. I want a child to be able to share my experiences with, teach things, raise to be a better person than I am, and to love."anonymous" - well, I'm trying, lol.I know it's irreversible and I'm ready for that lifelong commitment, even at my age.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Well then, go and get yourself pregnant! But then you'll be independent and when you regret it, there'll be nothing that you can do to reverse it!!!
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 February 2009):
It'll be the biggest mistake of your life. I feel like what mirrorimg said is exactly right, it's not like you are going to listen to any of us. But you are only 15. I can't tell you how different I am now from when I was 15 and it has only been 5 years. Things I wanted then are quite different from what I want now. Your mind will change. You aren't married and you have your whole life ahead of you. And you say you want this baby because you want something to love you unconditionally. This means your boyfriend doesn't fulfill your needs or makes you feel how you should. With my ex I felt the same way you do right now. I wanted a kid at the age of 18 and no one could tell me otherwise. My mom told me it was for the reason you stated, for someone who will always love me no matter what. Obviously your boyfriend doesn't or you feel he doesn't love you this way, so it would be a mistake to have a child with him anyway. With my current boyfriend I have NO interest in a child for years from now. I want time with him and time to be married alone without kids to enjoy each other. Do you think this child is a way of keeping your boyfriend around? Do you have problems in your relationship? In any case your life will be gone. You will never experience spending money on yourself or having what you want, everything will be for your child. You will never be able to go out with friends after you turn 21. This will be your life. My mom had my sister when she was 16 and said it was the biggest mistake. Not that they were trying on purpose, but she never went to college and was forced to marry my dad, who is a total asshole. She had no life. At 15 you have yet to live. Assuming you can live to 80 you have roughly 62 years of adult life, why rush it now..? Enjoy being a child without responsibilities. Have some fun. Please think about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn my opinion, it's fine to have a baby at my age, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into and you're prepared for the responsibility.
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reader, prego_18 +, writes (18 February 2009):
babys do cost alot i just had my daugther on the 28th of jan and she was preterm i had her at 7 months even thow shes doing well i dont get to take her home for a few weeks im 18 and didnt think it would be this stressful i worry every day and dont geet any time to my self or sleep really me and my husband and there all our free time i wouldnt be any other place, the danger of having a baby is small but there i had an emergency csection and my baby was rushed to childrens hospital im not telling you not to have a baby no one can change your mind but i have spent over 3000 on my baby since i found out i was pregnant so be aware youll have to get the money some where a baby wont wait or take no for an answer
good luck and i wish you the best and if you choose to have a baby and do i wish best health to the both of you
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfor one, i dont mind not being able to go out and drink and party with my friends. i dont care about losing that.
also, i love my boyfriend, and he loves me. im positive he won't walk out on me, but even if he did, i'd continue to raise my kid on my own. i dont need him to take care of my responsibilities.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): you shouldn't be thinking about a baby at your age..
And one question- what do your parents think about this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want a baby because I've never had something completely of my own to love and care for. I've never had someone love me unconditionally and I know you'll probably say "get a puppy" or something like that but I want a child and I know I'm ready for the reality of that responsibility.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): Well for one, it's not just school you have to worry about, there's going out with you're mates getting drunk, having fun. When you have a baby that all goes out of the window! Now there's another thing, you're boyfriend, boys are prats, and he might leave you once you well and truly up the duff, because they don't want the responsibility and expense. So the next time you make love to you're boyfriend, which by the way is illegal at you're age, think about you're social life!
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female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (18 February 2009):
ok but you didnt answer my question, WHY do you want to have a baby?
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female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (18 February 2009):
one question: why do you want to have a baby?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"martini"
i know children aren't all fun and games, im well aware they cost thousands and thousands, and are extremely time consuming.
i plan on becoming a hair stylist, and im positive that i can do that and manage to raise a kid at the same time.
"mirrorimg"
thank you. yeah, lol im probably going to keep trying anyway, but im still taking in all the replies i get on this, thats why i put up the question. but im hoping its meant to be!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I have a couple of questions:
1) How much do you think one baby costs?
2) What do you see yourself doing 10 years from now?
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