A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 15 and pregnant. im 5 weeks in and when i told my mum and dad they were furious. and they said they wouldn't support me. my boyfriend dumped me and said he wouldn't help either. so im thriving on my own and i am deciding whether to keep or not the baby. my best friend dated my ex and had sex and shes 3 weeks pregnant too. shocking. im scared half to death because i dont know what to do. any tips?
View related questions:
best friend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, brownskinbeauty +, writes (1 February 2010):
 well i was in the same case you are in and i did not keep it nor told my parent however me and my boyfriend handled it i was 15 and he was 18..considering theres no one there for you maybe you should get and abortion..im telling you now you going to be scared and nervous at 1st jus like i was but eventually things will get better and you'll be ok..your young you have a whole life ahead of you and you could actually meet a boy thats going to be there for you and love you and treat you the way you need to be treated and eventuall you will be able to have a family thats happy..any more advice write me in private message :) GOOD LUCK HUN!
A
female
reader, Mizz_BrownEyez +, writes (28 January 2010):
 Honey, this is something that noone can decide but you, yes you are very young and you do have a whole life ahead of you, and you will be a different person in 5 years from now, but the main focus here is your baby. Are you ready to take care of him or her, do u have a plan for the future? Honey, I think that you need to do some deep thinking and decide what you want with your life, having a baby as a teenager does not mean your life is over or runied, it just means that life is gonna be a whole lot harder for you, you will not get those selfish teenage years. But what ever choice you make, make sure its YOUR choice. If your religious, pray on it, talk to a pastor. have you considered adoption?
...............................
A
female
reader, Petra at home  +, writes (26 January 2010):
It is good to have support, but I would avoid the parents of the father and probably your parents as well. Seek out someone that does not have any of their own emotions tied up in what you do, like a Planned Parenthood counselor. The others will be thinking about their own embarrassment or desire to become a grandparent, or whatever but don't let that influence you. In the end you will have the burden of this child to face alone and anything anyone else does for you will come at a huge price, including your independence. Think for yourself and think of what is best for you. If you want to know who truly loves you, it is the person that says, "I support you regardless of what you decide."
...............................
A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 I will take the advice from Petra at home, Theres a long way for you to go, everybody made a mistake. some people do things without straight thinking. The reaction of your parents is normal. Its not easy to have a responsability specially at this age. Having a baby is not like having a lovely puppy. I would take it out as fast as i can before its too late. Dont wait. do it now... Goodluck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): Your ex boyfriend will have to pay child support. Call a help line, or talk to your doctor or school nurse and they should be able to help you find the right person to talk to. You need to talk to someone who works with teenage pregnancies or unwanted pregnancies, they will be able to give the best advice for you.But calm down. Things will work out somehow, but you must try to not freak out and be too scared. If you devote time to thinking about this, as well as getting help from other adults (when your parents didnt want to help you), you will be able to make the best decision. Maybe also talk to your friend since you and her are now going through the same thing. You could also try to contact the parents of this boy who got you and your friend pregnant, they are responsible for him unless he is over 18. If he is over 18 then take him to court.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emaz help  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 In this day and age many kids are having kids and although it probably weren't what they had planned for their life, they are coping. It's up to you whether you feel that you can give up everything you knew e.g going out and having fun with your friends and give everything to your child. Your parents may have just been extreamly shocked so i'd talk to them again when you've decided what to do about the baby. Theres a lot of help out there for you but talking to your Doctor should for your first priority at the moment. Although the father may not want anything to do with the child, if you have the baby then whether he likes it or not he IS already in that childs life just by making it so i would try to get maintenance money from him if he has a job or on benefits or something because it takes two to tango and you shouldn't be the only one feeling the pressure.
...............................
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (25 January 2010):
Since you have been abandoned by everyone, you need to think on your feet. Your baby at 5 weeks is about 4mm; the size of your baby finger nail; almost invisible. The longer you delay a termination decision, the bigger it grows every week. So you need to make your decision soon. I would encourage you to call the toll free numbers 1800 999 9999 or 1800 230 PLAN for help. They deal with your situation every day and will talk you through the options available. If you decide to keep it then you have to quickly start taking multivitamin tablets. At your age, your body was not ready to carry a baby and you don't want to have a disabled baby because you are not eating properly. I hate to scare you but this is reality.
...............................
A
female
reader, Petra at home +, writes (25 January 2010):
At your age keeping the baby is not an option. You are not far along so either adoption or an abortion are alternatives. The father has a legal obligation of support, but keep in mind that if he has nothing, you will get nothing, plus he will be a drag on your life for the next 20 years. Imagine trying to find another man with you having not only a baby, but also the no good father hanging around. Get your education and career on track; that will get you independence, respect and better prospects for a spouse. The time for children is LATER.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 January 2010):
Your parent's reaction doesn't' come as a surprise, but it might have been a knee jerk reaction, so I would suggest trying to talk to them again. Also remember that your boyfriend is responsible for the baby, so make sure you get everything you can out of him. The best bit of advice I can give though is to speak to a doctor and see what advice they can give to you. Or even a counsellor. You just need to talk to someone who knows about this kind of thing, and see what advice you can get from there.
...............................
|
