A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:right so i am 13. i ahve no boyfriend and i am really really fridgid, i am scared to even talk to a boy when i am going out with them. but i really want to have sex i tihnk i am phisiclly and emotionally ready, but its just trying to get over my fridgedness. Any tips? please help, i ahve my eye on this boy but i just need the confidence to do things with him. LOVE xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): Hi there, thats great that you are a mature young lady who has taken on board everyones advice and done what is best for you. Good luck in the future and remember to believe in yourself,you sound more sensible than many girls your age x
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much for you comment, i have mow realised that no matter what everyone alse it doing in my year, i still am not really even if i say i am, i am trying to convince myelf i am , but i am far from it.
thanks all, xxx
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male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (4 December 2009):
 You're not frigid, you're just bashful. That's normal for a 13 year old to be a little awkward around the other sex. But you are MUCH too young to be concerned that you haven't had sex yet. If you hit MY age and still haven't had a boyfriend or sex, I could understand, but you don't need a man yet. If you date, hey, good for you and I'm happy, but please don't think sex is necessary, or even wise, for years yet (no matter what your friends might be saying).
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male
reader, CoreyLuvinDani +, writes (4 December 2009):
my girlfriends 13 and shes perfectly capable of sex, we do it quite often and weve been together for awhile now!!
i know that most 13 year old lads are virgins,But they probably Would want sex, especially if it was offered to them!
if your 100% sure its wat u want, then you should talk to him, and arrange to meet him somewhere alone...just say to hang out or something, ur choice! but you should also DEFINITELY use a condom! that can be embarresing to going into a shop to buy condoms but it Must be done, so if ur not ready to buy them your not ready for sex! if uve started ur period then generally ur body should be ready! once uve got the condoms! and u meet him, just talk with him and be normal, but make sure u also have somewhere to do it where its confortable and not by anyone so u dont get caught!
TECHNICALLY it IS Illegal just to point it out, But because your both underage (im guessing) its your personal choice to do it! and even if u got caught nothing would really be done, except your parents finding out(which you would get in trouble for!!)
So..all you have to do is ask him, does he like sex, then if he said he is a virgin, say same, then ask when he wants to do it, now or in a few years, then if he says now, say same, i want to do it with you!
Keep it simple, and im sure ull be fine!
if he said he dont want to, then all ur guna have todo is forget it, theres no point trying to force him todo something he doesnt want to do!
make sure u take ur time, make sure u put the condom on right, make sure ur confident because if ur not saying alot he's gunna wonder if he's doing it wrong and get nervous and embarresed even if he's doing it right, let him know!
First times are nervous, CAN be painfull if you rush things, but they arent always painfull!! aslong as ur safe and happy with it, and if u wanted to stop half way, just stop, sex is about feelinh good, and its about doing it with a person you like and have feelings for! obviously this sounds like the case for you but if it hurts, or if its not as good as u thought, like i said theres no harm in stopping what your doing, theres no harm in backing out before you mention it to him!
Personally i think waiting till your older is a better choice, maybe you will have a boyfriend in a few years who loves you, and if you both want sex then, your both gunna be happy!!
But asking someone at school at your age can be risky, and you will look back one day and remember your first time having sex.
Do you want to think, oh i had sex with him, but it hurt and was no good and then we stopped talking,
Or would you rather remember your first time when you waited a few more years and found a lad who u loved and loved u back and had a romantic first time which was fun and calm and not embarresing cause your with someone you Love, not like!
Sex is also known as Making Love,
so surely you should both be in love when your having sex, not just a mate who u like and gunna ask him to have sex with you!
Im only saying all this because theres good points and bad points about this and everything! you have to think about them all and work out whats best!
Sometimes in life you do want things but its not that easy to get them, just like my girlfriend, i never thought id be with such a pretty and amazing girl but somehow i got her and im so grateful!
if you dont even know for sure if he likes you, it sounds dodgy asking him for sex, if he said no, then you might fall out with him or he might not want to talk to you again, or what if he told everyone at school, if your so shy supposidly would you be able to cope with all your friends asking you questions and spreading rumors about it, there are some nasty people out there and theres also some really lovely ones, maybe just wait, and one day you'll find someone you can love and trust and you wont have to worry about anything or the sex!!
But whatever you decide, make sure u use protection!
make sure u deffinately want to do it!
make sure u enjoy urself or make it fun, dont be shy, loosen up! its the only way ur going to enjoy it and then hopefully you'll have a good memory of your first time!! :)
I know lots of people would think me giving you advice and saying what i just said is wrong,
but id rather tell you all the facts, and all the things ive realise and learnt since i had my first time and then atleast it might make things clearer to you and might help you make the right choice, and if u decided to do it anyway, id rather be here to tell u to be safe and use condoms than just moaning at you like these other people!! No offence!
But deffinately do NOT say, "oh i didnt want to go into the shop and buy condoms so just make sure u pull it out before u cum"
As the lady said below, its SO easy to fall pregnant, and even by pulling out theres still big risks of getting pregnant!!
So unless u want a baby or want your mum and whole family and school friends to find out uve had sex and got pregnant, Id Use A Condom!!!!!!
anyway i hope all this advice helps you make ur decision and helps u with talking to the boy,
and Good Luck + Be Safe/protected!
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A
female
reader, DiamondGirlx +, writes (4 December 2009):
 what worries me the most in you saying this is that i have a 13 year old sister and if i heard that she was planning anything like this i'd faint with shock!!!
hun your 13!! for crying out loud you havent even gone through puberty properly yet, please dont rush into anything, trust me ther are alot of girls out there that wished that they waited until they were alot older...and wiser.. before they lost their virginity, its not something you can get back so do you really want to lose it to a guy that you think you might like just because you "have you eye on him".
my best friend lost her virginity when she was 13, and do you know what happend? she ended up with a baby, and she regrets it every since because she has lost her childhood over a wham bam thank you ma'am that meant nothing afterwards!.
Best thing you can do at this stage is get to know boys a little more become FRIENDS that way (in years to come hopefully) you'll be able to realise what sort of boy your looking to be with, and heck a little kiss is alright but at this moment in time thats about it young lady
take care :) D.G xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): Hi there, the idea of wanting to do something and the realtiy of doing it are two different things. If your body is not responding then it is because you are not ready. You could be a lot older and still not be ready if for example you are not with the right person.
You are growing up and it is natural to be thinking about boys and sex, not to mention the pressure that you have no doubt of others your age telling you that they are already having sex. But my advice for you is to wait until the time is right and not to pressure yourself into rushing into something that doesnt feel right.
Above all you have your life ahead of you so take care, look after yourself and look at protecting yourself not only from an unwanted pregnancy but sexual diseases :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): I really hope you don't rush into sex. When I was at school I knew a lot of girls who started having sex at 13-14 years old and it was a stupid thing to do. The boys they went with were older and once they'd dated a girl for a while they would start hinting at sex and when they got it they left them. Just imaging how hurt you would feel if a guy slept with you and then never wanted to see you again?
Its way too early to start, even if your mates are doing stuff it doesn't mean you have to start. I completely recommed waiting for a great guy to come along and waiting until you get to know each other. Girls I knew who had sex really young haven't had a lasting relationship and three have kids (we are only 20). I waited until I met a great guy, he had also waited. I have been with him since I was 17 and I know it was worth waiting for it to be a special time.
I hope you take on board some advice, take care.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 December 2009):
Young lady, the reason you are so called 'fridged', is because you're not ready at all. You're only 13, so it's illegal to do it anyway (you have to be 16 in Britain before you can have sex). You're not physically ready at all, your body still has some growing to do, and you're not mentally ready because if you were, you wouldn't feel this way. Get to know a guy very well before considering sex, or you will be used and left very hurt. focus on developing who you are, then, when you meet the right guy, you'll feel ready and won't be shy about it. You're not ready yet, so be patient and focus on yourself.
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