A
male
age
36-40,
*haseTerrier
writes:My second cousin and I have been having a secret sexual relationship for about ten years now. The first time we had sex is when I was 14 and she was 13.Now I am 24 and she is 23 years old. We usually used birth control (Condoms) but about three months ago, we got drunk and forgot to used a condom. Now she is three months pregnant and we do not know how to tell our families. What is the best way to break the news to our family? Should we tell them that we been having sex for about a decade now or should we let them believe it was a one night thing when we was drunk?
View related questions:
affair, condom, cousin, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, tux +, writes (23 May 2009):
 I somewhat agree with a previous poster about risks in regards to second cousins.. I would say the risks are minimal, but it does raise the risk somewhat higher if recessive bad traits get mixed in. But any 2 people in the general public can create the same situation..
But I think the best is to be open in a limited fashion.. Just tell them about the drunken mistake, there is no need to bring up the 10 years priors..
A
male
reader, Harry Castle  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 I am sorry to dsisagree with my co-answerers on here, but 2nd cousins pose NO risk of birth defects or any such bad consequences - please Google latest research. Even for siblings the risks are now considered minimal.
Love knows no boundaries, so I won't join in the criticism of your affair, which is legal anyway.
To tell or not to tell?
I could throw it back at you and say that you know your respective families best, but that's not why you came on here: I would suggest that, since you asked the question it must be that you truly fear telling them the truth.
You must balance the likely guilty feeling that you will have from lying with the even more likely flack and family upset that you will get from being honest.
On balance, I would lie!
Many more people will be hurt, and for much longer, if you tell the truth.
I guess I will get flamed for that, but here we are looking for the the greatest good for the greatest number - so why give more upset than necessary?
Harry.
...............................
A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (23 May 2009):
to avoid any unwanted drama,
just tell them it was a mistake and it was done only once while you were drunk,
telling them hole truth well put in a big blame and well cause allot of rumors and well cause allot of trouble between both families,
...............................
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (22 May 2009):
 What a lame excuse...YOU WERE DRUNK?
Do you live in West Virginia?
Give me a break. The fact that you were having sex with your cousin in the first place and for such an extended period of time only proves you would have kept this travesty up had you not gotten her pregnant.
You better tell your family right away, for now you have created a child that may or may not have all the birth defects you can possibly imagine.
What the hell were you thinking?
Were you thinking?
FULL HONESTY IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE YOU!
...............................
A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (22 May 2009):
 Tell everyone the truth. If you lie, eventually one of you will slip up and the truth will come out. This way will be much more difficult for people to accept and they will probably never trust you again if they know you lied.
Does the pregnant lady's care provider know that you are actually her cousin? Your child faces a huge increase in the chance of it being born with a birth defect or a disability. If they do not know then you must tell them so your baby can recieved the best care possible.
It's not going to be an easy ride. But you've got to face the consequences of your actions buddy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): Well considering you guys are related, I would go the easy route and just tell them it was just a drunken night and that was it.
Otherwise, you guys are idiots. You're related to each other!
...............................
|
