A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I got together with this girl early last year. I wasn’t to fussed about having a relationship at the time because I was happy how I was but she was a nice girl so I met up with her a few times and we ended up having a relationship. I could tell this girl was really into me and she really liked me but I wasn’t to fussed about her and as she said it was all one way. I ended it because I thought it was the right choice with the way I was feeling.About a week later I seen her and my heart just sank and I told her I was stupid for letting her go and I wanted to try at this relationship. Things just changed and it wasn’t the same before hand she would of agreed to come my house or go out anywhere and now she was allot more opinionated and didn’t make things easy for me to say the least, She ended up getting back with her ex after we argued and didn’t speak for a couple of week that and broke my heart. She said she felt nothing for me and when we went out she said she was falling in love with me.I left it but I really couldn’t stop thinking about her and we got back together for about 4 months later. I was so happy but I could tell she wasn’t. When we were in a relationship she always wanted to be with me but not this time. We took things slow and she ended it saying that she would never feel the same about me and it wouldn’t work and to be honest she didn’t treat me well it was like I was dating another person with the way she was.I totally regret dumping her but that was the way I felt at the time. I gave it a chance and I fell in love but I couldn’t make her fall for me again. Its so frustrating because we could have been so happy if I had opened my eyes.Since then I cant stop thinking about her, she's with someone else and it drives me crazy. I wake up and think about her, she's always on my mind and driving me crazy because I see her allot. Iv tried dating other girls but its not the same as I felt with her.I just wanted her to feel the way she did when we dated but I couldn’t its so hard to take since I love this girl so much.Any advise would be great thanks!
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female
reader, casey-jane +, writes (20 January 2011):
 By the sounds of things this is the first girl you have truely loved? if this is the case then what your feeling is pretty normal. It sounds like this girl has moved on, and you need to do the same. Just hang out with the guys, dont go looking for love, let it find you, your young so have fun while it lasts. And a tip, when ever you think of her make it into art, draw how you feel, it might help
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou really don’t know what you have until it has gone and yes I think a barrier was put up. I blew it I should have realised what I had but I didn’t. I was selfish and didn’t think about her and yes I have learned I will never do that again I will appreciate things allot more. Yeah of course if you cant have something you want it more this played a part in more chasing her around. I told her I loved her and that I wish things could have been different but it was clear she didn’t feel the same. She wasn’t falling for me like she was. It did "break the spel"l that is so true. She said she likes a challenge and I wasn’t that when I was chasing her. I just wanted her to love me like I did. It is frustrating because she felt the same, once
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 As the saying goes you dont know what you have until it is gone. Its very sad how this situation worked out as you never realised what she meant to you until you let her go. I guess now you have to suffer the consequences of that. You both tried again but it didnt work out am guessing that she put up a barrier towards you as she got hurt when you broke up with her.
My thoughts are that she doesnt want to get back with you now therefore there is nothing left to do but to let go and try your hardest to move on. It will take plenty of time and some distraction as well. Go out with your friends and take your mind of her. Keep yourself busy and in time you will feel able enough to start dating other girls again. I know that it is hard and its ok to still think about her it is just going to take time and acceptance. Goodluck.
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A
male
reader, EPocket  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 mate :)
all ur call ;) no one did any choices for u :) i know its soo easy on me to tell u to let it go , as i know how hard is this on you . but there is no other way to fix things up unless u had a gun and point it to her head then she may come with u the way u want .
am not going to judge you but its all ur call before and think its a good way to learn that if u won a heart u need to keep it safe and never give it away cause u`ll never know how hard to fll in love unless u r not :)
sorry the way u feel . wish i know a way to get her back . the only good thing to do is to get her out of ur mind .. and think abt wat happened to take a lesson of it only .
wish i can help it :) but sorry .
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A
female
reader, viccra78  +, writes (20 January 2011):
I think that that ship has sailed. You are better off moving on as she is obviously not interested.
Just because you love her doesn't mean that she does or has to love you back and from what you described she has made herself pretty clear.
Move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): You cannot underdo what has happened. You obviously had your reasons for finishing with her the first time. But that broke the spell for her and it was never going to be the same again. So basically you have to accept what has happened, learn from it and move on. Is there an element of her going cool on you and then finding someone else which has made her very appealing. Analyze your feelings here - the unattainable is often very alluring - you are tortured because she has rejected you when previously she cared for you. I think that maybe the case.
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A
female
reader, confusoholic +, writes (20 January 2011):
 This is so uncanny...coz this is exactly what happened to me - though i was the 'girl' this time.
I think this is happening due to a few reasons :
1. She doesn't trust you now coz when she told you she loved you; you acted like a jerk ; didn't you?
2. Seems like she's not totally over her ex either.
What YOU need to do is...take out time and do something to make her realise how much you really love her. If you are not the expressive types; you may be in big trouble...so i would suggest that you should GO all the way...get her to agree to go out with you once...take her out for dinner...make the ambience romantic...give her flowers...pamper her a bit...and don't be scared to tell her you love her....till she believes that with all her heart...she will never love you back.
All the best.
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