A
female
age
30-35,
*onnorsmommyy
writes:I dated my ex bf for 4 years I was about to break up with him when I found out I was pregnant so I decided to stay to make it work. Well after our son was a month old he cheated on me with a 16 year old mind you he is almost 22. So i ended it 6 months ago. Now he keeps texting and calling me make me look bad to my friends on Facebook. I let him see his son whenever but when he does come see him he seems more interested in following me around the house or asking me questions he does not need to know. He's threatened to kill himself. And keeps telling me he loves me and he won't date anyone but me. I have told him repeatedly my feelings have been gone for awhile but he wont accept the fact. I'm lost as to what to do anymore. Is he obsessed with me?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 April 2013):
 block him on facebook
contact an attorney to set up child maintenance payments that you are not involved with and also supervised visitation that the court is supervising that takes YOU out of his parenting question totally.
DO it in that order too even if he's paying CS already.
Because he may be paying it to keep in touch with you and once you go to court supervised visitation he may stop paying it.
he's sadly using your child to get to you.
use the broken record technique with him.
discuss ONLY your child.
when he says something not directly related to your son you say 'that does not related to "bobby" (child's name) I'm not discussing it with you"
that's it. the only answer you have for him if it's not about your child
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 April 2013):
 I agree with the Block him on Facebook, just because you share a child doesn't mean you have to have him posting crap on FB. Also hide his comments. Let him post crap, I'm sure you friends know the REAL you.
Also if he wants to spend time with his son, I would suggest that someone else is there WITH YOU, as in, your mom/friend or his mom/dad.
If he wants to debate your life then walk away. Don't get into any arguments and remember this... YOU can't CONTROL his actions, if you REALLY believe he wants to kill himself, then maybe you need to get a hold of his parents and let them know. I don't think he should be around your child if he truly is unstable, nor around you.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 April 2013):
Block him on Facebook if he's bothering you there.
Regarding him bugging you in person I'm not sure what to suggest. I had a girlfriend who threatened to kill herself but I knew she was full of it, so I didn't pay her much attention since she was just being manipulative.
If you're confident he's also only trying to be manipulative then you need to get firm with him. Tell him that his visits with his child are only about him and his child, not the two of you. Tell him that you'll no longer be talking about personal matters with him. Make sure you have a friend or family member around when he visits, until you feel he's more stable.
If he doesn't play by the rules then you may want to tell him he can't come around until he does. Do this only if it wouldn't hurt your child, otherwise it's not fair.
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