A
male
age
41-50,
*huaigetrevor
writes:It seems to be the biggest dilemma in dating today. With no hard-and-fast social rules, men and women are on their own to determine when is the best time to introduce a physical component to their budding love relationship.The good news is that we are living in a time where a groundswell of data is exploding from university social science departments. And that research is demonstrating that, while there are no rules, there are certainly statistical probabilities. Some days before , I me t a girl on a social website, and after a week , she want to have sex wiyh me . I’m an traditional man , and I don’t know how to do ? can u help me ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): Forget whether she is into you or not.
She wants to have sex much earlier than you do. Are you still into HER after knowing this is how she is?
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 December 2012):
 I agree with AuntyEm completely "I'd be wary of anyone who wants to rush into sex. Often it means they have low self esteem and think they can hang onto you if they offer sex up front."
There's nothing wrong with taking it slow. In fact, I think most women would be flattered. It's nice knowing a guy is interested in YOU and not in getting laid.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 If you don't want to have sex with her then don't.
I'd be wary of anyone who wants to rush into sex. Often it means they have low self esteem and think they can hang onto you if they offer sex up front.
You only have to read the thousands of posts (mainly from women) on DEAR CUPID who have rushed into having sex too soon before they know someone or are in a committed relationship and find themselves being dumped soon after,to know it really isn't a good idea.
As you say, the statistics speak for themselves, but I have a feeling we will always be comforting the newly 'humped and dumped' on DC for years to come...because people never learn!!!
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A
male
reader, xzibit33  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 First of all, I'm pleased a male is having some resistance to sex. To answer this classic question of yours, there's definitely no emperical data that can provide an answer for u. What I'm saying is, it's all in the mind. Whenever you and your partner feel comfortable with it, go on. First day, a year after, or a decade. It doesn't matter. Trust me, I've heard of couples who wait for long before having sex and breakup days/weeks after, and couples who have sex first night and go on to marry. Cheers
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 She has different dating parameters than you. As you say, there are no hard and fast rules. While I agree with you and think that a week is too early in general to reach such a total intimacy,- she does not feel the same and this does not necessarily mean that she is bad or loose or wrong for you.
It neither means though that you MUST do what you are not comfortable with just to please her. I think there's nothing wrong, in fact it's appreciable, if you tell her that you operate in a different way and you are used to take things slower and to know the person better before being physically intimate. If she is into you, she will understand and won't be upset or displeased. If she is just after a quick shag,then whatever happens happens, - yes , she may be annoyed, but in this case you'll know that she is too impatient and superficial to be a good match for you .
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