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... Send *ensitiveBloke a private message | | | *ensitiveBloke's profile:I am a Christian and my life experiences and advice are shaped by my faith.
I always try to offer advice that lines up with the Bible's teachings on relationships.
I'm a passionate believer in marriage, and will always encourage husbands and wives to do everything they possibly can to make their marriages work.
I'm not here to force my views on anyone, but I hope I can give genuinely helpful advice whenever possible. |
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Boyfriend believes a threesome will bring us closer but I've heard horror stories about them
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and recently he's asked me about having a threesome. I'm secure with myself and my sexuality. I'm also confident in our relationship. I've just heard alot of horror stories that follow a threesome ...
A. 13 September 2013: Let us know how it goes.... (read in full...)
I want to be horny but his idea of romance is humping me like a dog. Please somebody, give me some advice I can use!
Q. I am 19 and so is my boyfriend. We have been together since i was 13. I have always believed i should save myself for that one person...i had always known he was that one person but i was trying to wait till our honeymoon...well i didn't. At 16 i ...
A. 12 September 2013: Many women don't have high sex drives and need to be romanced to get in the mood. This is quite normal!
Yes, he should romance you, but if he has no clue you should help him by giving examples of things you would like him to do, but also things t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend believes a threesome will bring us closer but I've heard horror stories about them
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and recently he's asked me about having a threesome. I'm secure with myself and my sexuality. I'm also confident in our relationship. I've just heard alot of horror stories that follow a threesome ...
A. 12 September 2013: This would probably basically end up as him having sex with another woman and you watching and then feeling like he's cheated on you.
Bad idea!... (read in full...)
What should I prepare for when visting an escort for the first time?
Q. I'm 27 years old and a virgin, and I always thought about waiting for the right girl that I liked or was into me, however I just grew impatient. I'm shy, I don't feel comfortable in myself so I feel that I'm not any girls type and not attractive to ...
A. 10 September 2013: Have you tried dating websites? They're a good way of meeting people.... (read in full...)
Husband addicted to autocad and finding a job. How can I help him?
Q. Normally on here you hear about partners who are addicted to World of Warcraft/WoW. I'm 35, he's 32. Well, this one's different; my partner (husband actually)'s addicted to AutoCAD. Is this odd, considering that it borders on workaholism [see bel...
A. 10 September 2013: He's probably worried about paying the bills now that he's without work, and this is his route for getting back into work.
Have you talked to him about it?
Praise him in his efforts, but tell him you need affection and sex!... (read in full...)
Serendipity after a summer camp. Not Quite!
Q. I met a guy at a church Summer Camp I volunteer at every year. He was coming from another state on a mission to help in the camp. We talked a lot during camp and when he left he gave me his phone number. We spoke a bit on Facebook but not too much...
A. 10 September 2013: Steer well clear of him! Not what you'd expect from someone on a church mission!... (read in full...)
If he really loved me wouldn't he talk about making changes in our lives?
Q. Dear Cupid, Looking for a man perspective. I've been in an exclusive relationship for 3 years, we are both middle-aged. We've broken up several times, because I'm frustrated in not seeing any progress and he is unwilling to talk about where rela...
A. 9 September 2013: He's not interested in moving forward with things as he's quite happy how things are.
If you want to move in together, you need to tell him bluntly. If he doesn't, then move on.... (read in full...)
I've been involved with a guy from work who also has a girlfriend. Things were great but I feel like he's backing off. How can I keep him interested?
Q. I've been seeing a guy from work for a while, i started there in April and I've had so much fun working with him and flirting away. We get on great! The flirting increased about two months ago and we started sending dirty texts and pics, which ...
A. 22 August 2013: Maybe he has someone else and now he's cheating on you like he cheated on his girlfriend?
Do you really want to be with a love cheat you can't trust?
If he doesn't want to be with you, there's little you can do to change his mind.... (read in full...)
I gave a guy my phone number but I'm not really interested in him. What should I do?
Q. I went out on Monday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys whom I didn't know asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at al...
A. 21 August 2013: Don't ignore it. That's not nice.
Text him back and just tell him you would only want to be friends, nothing more.... (read in full...)
Is it possible for guys to wishfully hope I fancy them?
Q. is it possible for guys to wishfully hope i fancy them?... i wonder because a lot of guys i met always fall under the impression that i fancy them for one reason or an other, i am not touchy feely i am actually quiet reserved, when it comes to perso...
A. 20 August 2013: It is possible to interact with people in such a way that they think you want to be more than just friends and yet you don't and have no idea what you could be doing to give them that impression.
Maybe you're very much more friendly than other pe... (read in full...)
He's with me only because she wouldn't take him back
Q. Hi I'd love some advice please as I'm heartbroken and confused right now. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. After a year together, he broke up with me because he said he wanted to be single and go travelling. I was devastated but t...
A. 19 August 2013: You'll always have this nagging doubt that he'll try to get back with his ex again. And he lied to you, big time. Not the basis for any secure relationship.... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I looked into her phone and saw explicit messages?
Q. I have a dilemma and need to find a way to resolve it. I have been dating a lovely lady for 18 months. 10 months into our relationship, work took me away to South East Asia, where my roots are. I was supposed to return after 5 months, however ...
A. 19 August 2013: You need to think long and hard about what you really want from this relationship. If you want it to have a future, you need to be living in the same country at the very least.... (read in full...)
Can a man who is willing to cheat on his wife ever be faithful?
Q. Please help me. I have been married for 12 years. I love my husband like a dear friend, but I have never been in love with him. We have been to counseling and I have even told him that when we married I was in a bad place and I am not sure I ...
A. 16 August 2013: You are a married woman. Do you think what you're doing is fair on your husband?
Sort things out one way or the other with your husband before you contemplate seeing other men.... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble deciding between two guys.
Q. I'm having trouble deciding between two guys. Maybe both are wrong for me, I don't know. Basically, one of the guys, I've had a very strange history with. I met him in college 5 years ago as acquaintances. His girlfriend was also an acquaintance. 3 ...
A. 14 August 2013: Don't pick either of them! Neither of them are good enough for you. Guy 1 you don't love and cheats on his girlfriends and guy 2 can be cold and distant.
Find someone else! There are more than just two people in the world to choose from!... (read in full...)
I can't afford sleepless nights because my flat mate won't get help for his problems!
Q. I have a flatmate (or roommate) who is essentially slowly but surely loosing the plot. I've been living in my flat for around 5 months? I'd been flat hunting for around a month at this time it got offered to me and it seemed cool (piano, record ...
A. 13 August 2013: Of course you're not being selfish. He doesn't want help. Move out as soon as you can.... (read in full...)
Was he right to compare my body to a woman in a porn movie
Q. I've been dieting and lost 12 lbs thus far. I was doing this mainly to lose some tummy fat that settled as I have grown a little older. This seems to be the hardest area for me to lose it. My boyfriend, we are talking about marriage, and ha...
A. 12 August 2013: What a lovely boyfriend! Maybe you could tell him sex is off until he changes to look like Brad Pitt?... (read in full...)
My parents gave me up to foster care and it seems no one is on my side
Q. I want a normal life style but yah right! I'm not a normal kid like everybody else. My parents gave up on me! 7 years ago me and my brothers and sisters got taken away by foster care. I had to grow up fast and see and hear things that a lil one ...
A. 12 August 2013: It would be good if you could speak to a counsellor so you can tell someone just how you're feeling. They really care and will do everything they can to help.
Maybe your doctor could recommend one?... (read in full...)
Why would someone cancel a first date? Male perspective.?
Q. I had met this person twice. The first time we met I was sort of almost judged too soon and we didn't end up speaking that much. The second time we met was by total coincidence at an event. We got to chatting, by that time I had gotten over what had ...
A. 9 August 2013: Maybe it was cold feet. If he's keen on you, he'll try to make an alternative date, otherwise he's probably not interested in a relationship with you.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a person to be so involved in their work that intimacy is lacking in relationships?
Q. Normally you hear about men being obsessed with porn online, but in my case, it's a little bit different. I am 32 and have been with my partner, who's 34, for 4 years now. I am of Anglo-Dutch descent; English mother from Atherton, near Wigan, G...
A. 8 August 2013: He's loving and caring, but he refuses to discuss this important issue? Not that caring then.
You need to make him discuss it with you because it's affecting you badly. If he really loves you, he'll listen and then want to address whatever... (read in full...)
Should I wear a bra because my boyfriend think it's too sexual otherwise?
Q. Is it normal that my boyfriend constantly goes on about the fact that I should wear a bra? We've been having a very hot summer so far and I started leaving the house wearing tops but without a bra underneath. He says that it's obscene and ...
A. 8 August 2013: Everyone will see you're not wearing one and stare at your boobs. Of course your boyfriend doesn't like it!... (read in full...)
Can you get that wet just from kissing?
Q. Hi! Yesterday we were in bed with my boyfriend and we were kissing (we haven't had sex yet) and I got really wet and I got embarrassed and I didn't want him to notice so we didn't go any further. Is ir normal to get that wet from just kissing?...
A. 8 August 2013: It's quite normal, especially in the early stages of a relationship.... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with someone 16 years my senior again?
Q. I'm an 18 year old female, and on a course in France last week I had sex with a 34 year old course leader who I met that week...we were both very drunk and although I don't regret it I haven't told anyone because I can see why people would think ...
A. 7 August 2013: I'm more concerned with the fact he was in a position of responsibility over you and he slept with you. That is just wrong and it calls into question this guy's character.... (read in full...)
Success stories about people finding love again please!!
Q. Recently I've split up from my boyfriend of 2 years. We loved each other a lot and were inseparable. We spent so much time together and talked a lot about our future (i.e. kids, moving in etc). We were one of those typical love-bubble type of ...
A. 6 August 2013: Yes, you will find love again, but don't rush into it. Take your time to work through your feelings, and don't contemplate getting together with anyone else until you're over your ex. Getting together with someone on the rebound is a bad idea.
... (read in full...)
I want to be excited to see him and have butterflies but I don't really get that with him
Q. hi everyone... really need some input from anyone who is feeling unsure about what it is that they want... about three months ago I reconnected with an old friend who I used to very close with 2 years ago... he has a huge crush on me and I thought ...
A. 6 August 2013: If you don't feel attracted to him then he doesn't tick all the boxes. It's really important to have this in a relationship.... (read in full...)
Without my glasses I didn't realise she was much older. How do I extricate myself tactfully?
Q. Dear all, I do not know how I have found myself in this situation... I met this woman at salsa and discovered we work for the same organization. She was kinda pretty and interesting, so I kept in touch with her. We had lunch at the park 5 days ...
A. 6 August 2013: You need to be straightforward with her and tell her you can't see your relationship going any further than just friendship.
Do not use her for sex. That's not nice.
Treat people how you would wish to be treated :-)... (read in full...)
At what point is it OK to buy lingerie for your girlfriend?
Q. Me and my gf have been seeing for a year and a half now . I’m thinking I would like to get a special gift. I’m thinking about lingerie. when is it ok to lingerie for your girlfriend? Any advice about getting lingerie for a girlfriend? Is that ...
A. 5 August 2013: A word of warning: who are you buying it for? Is it for her benefit or yours? If she thinks you've bought it cos you want to see how hot she looks in it, she will feel you've been selfish and just thought of yourself and not her. Then the whole t... (read in full...)
What are the chances of me finding a man who has never had a one night stand or casual sex?
Q. What are the chances of me finding a man who has never had a one night stand or casual sex? No offence to anyone here but I find that kind of behaviour revolting and it makes me see them as a lesser. I'm 26 now and this worries me. I was appalled ...
A. 5 August 2013: Most men would think there's nothing wrong with it. And presumably the women they slept with felt likewise.
Many of the people who "save themselves" for someone special do it for religious reasons.
If you don't follow a religion yoursel... (read in full...)
He is almost the perfect guy but he just wont text!
Q. i've been seeing this guy for 3 months now.everything was great. i know he likes me and he knows i like him. we went to several dates. he always holds my hand, hugs me when we are watching movies, always drops me off at my bus stop. in short to me ...
A. 2 August 2013: So both of you have said to the other that you don't want a relationship? And yet I'm getting the strong impression that you do. You need to decide what you want from this guy.... (read in full...)
Do I believe my current guy, who used to be a player, or my ex, who is a compulsve liar?
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for some time but we recently decided to take things a little further. We aren't officially dating or anything but we "talk". Anyway, He has a past of a cheater, but he has been 100% faithful to me. He gives me...
A. 1 August 2013: If he had nothing to hide, he'd have said: "No, of course I don't have another girlfriend."
Find someone who's honest with no dodgy past and you'll be much better off!... (read in full...)
I would take my ex back if he'd give me an apology!
Q. I broke up with him about 5 weeks ago. After about 2 weeks of no contact he started talking to me last week. It was so nice, like when we first met. We spoke twice and sent a few txts. A few times he suggested we should catch up and asked when I'd ...
A. 1 August 2013: Does he know this is why you broke up?... (read in full...)
I want this to be the best date she's ever had! Help!
Q. So I'm currently on the cusp of something big with a girl I've had a crush on for years. We met when we were 8 and grew up together and all that cliche crap. Fast forward to me actually doing something about it because frankly, I was sick of her ...
A. 31 July 2013: You can't beat a meal at a nice romantic restaurant. Find out what food she likes, and surprise her with the venue. Be sure to tell her how smartly to dress.... (read in full...)
He is almost the perfect guy but he just wont text!
Q. i've been seeing this guy for 3 months now.everything was great. i know he likes me and he knows i like him. we went to several dates. he always holds my hand, hugs me when we are watching movies, always drops me off at my bus stop. in short to me ...
A. 31 July 2013: You've been dating this guy for 3 months but you're not boyfriend/girlfriend yet? That's the thing I'd be more concerned about rather than his lack of texting.
Maybe he just wants a casual friendship with you? In this case, it would be quite no... (read in full...)
My fiance and I are currently planning our wedding for December 2013 but I don't want his friends there.
Q. My fiance and I are currently planning our wedding for Decenber 2013. The problem is I don't want his friends there. Please advise me on how to handle this. Six months ago (when we were already engaged), he was invited to a wedding without ...
A. 31 July 2013: It was very rude that you were not invited, and really your fiance should have stood by you and not gone.
Maybe his friends have changed their minds about you now? They only heard one side of the story at the time. Also when they meet you they may... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got angry with me and wants to break up because I didn't accompany her in to Starbucks, I'm considering giving her what she wants
Q. Story: We have being dating for just 3 years. We are both each other's first gf and bf. I am 28. She's 27. We are both Asians. I went to my gf's place to pick her and her sister up to attend their parents' event about 1.5 hrs away. They wante...
A. 31 July 2013: She'll never be happy. You know what you have to do.... (read in full...)
Was she hiding something, or trying to reassure me?
Q. My girlfriend gets a phone call from a guy while we were cuddling. They seem to know each other very well judging by their tone of their voice. Afterwards, she automatically and pro-actively explains to me who this guy was - they have known each ...
A. 30 July 2013: She was trying to explain that this guy is just a friend and so is no threat to you.... (read in full...)
I can't get over a guy I have been speaking to online
Q. I had been talking to a younger guy on a dating site and he is the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. He said I was very beautiful in my profile and we had a few chats. He has called me hun from the beginning and it made me feel nice. I am 47 and ...
A. 30 July 2013: Are you using free dating sites? Go for a paid one and you'll meet better people.... (read in full...)
My husband and I are trying to rebuild the trust in our relationship but we have totally conflicting work schedules
Q. My husband and I are working through some trust issues. With that said, we basically are trying to rebuild the foundation that our relationship is made on, because we both love each other very much and are not willing to walk away from something ...
A. 29 July 2013: Change jobs? If you value your marriage enough, you'll have to prioritise it above your careers.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got angry with me and wants to break up because I didn't accompany her in to Starbucks, I'm considering giving her what she wants
Q. Story: We have being dating for just 3 years. We are both each other's first gf and bf. I am 28. She's 27. We are both Asians. I went to my gf's place to pick her and her sister up to attend their parents' event about 1.5 hrs away. They wante...
A. 29 July 2013: Your girlfriend sounds very childish. You could do so much better.
It's time to end this relationship and then you can be free to meet a nice person!... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay off boyfriends debts. How do I teach him to be more responsible?
Q. He's 21, and i'm 20. We've been together for 10 months now, and we're serious and in love. However, we're having money issues that are putting a strain on our relationship.. He has ADHD (not taking meds), is very irresponsible, and LOVES to spe...
A. 25 July 2013: Do not take on his debts. How will he ever learn to take responsibility if you pay them off for him? He must work out a way that he will pay them off.... (read in full...)
What is fair to expect from a wife?
Q. I have been married to my wife for almost 21 years and there are many things about her that endear her to me. However, of late I am finding it harder and harder to remain with her. That's not because of what she or has not done in some sense, but ...
A. 25 July 2013: It sounds like she's depressed and lacking purpose in life.
What are her goals? Does she have any?
I think you should consider going to relationship counselling together to help her express what's wrong and hopefully start making plans.... (read in full...)
I can't get over a guy I have been speaking to online
Q. I had been talking to a younger guy on a dating site and he is the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. He said I was very beautiful in my profile and we had a few chats. He has called me hun from the beginning and it made me feel nice. I am 47 and ...
A. 25 July 2013: It sounds like he's not interested, otherwise he'd suggest you meet up with him, right?
Time to move on and get to know other people.... (read in full...)
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