At the moment writing is his priority, I want marriage and kids in the future, do I wait or walk?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend just over a year. Everything is amazing! I thought i was in love with previous partners but nothing compares to how i feel about him. Hes so much fun and just completely gets me. He is eight years older than me. I have a ...
A. 28 July 2014: From a financial point of view, he is working part-time and therefor cannot afford to support a family in the near future.
Will you be prepared to be a breadwinner and leave him to be a stay at home dad? He doesn't have time if he's writing ... (read in full...)
I'm gutted that my boyfriend canceled our getaway weekend and went out with friends instead!
Q. Hi everyone, Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 and a half years. Things have always been good. Recently we've both been busy with work but I've found I'm seeing my boyfriend less and less. He plays football for a local club and trains ...
A. 28 July 2014: He spent the whole of the previous weekend with you, I assume he bought you a present too as you don't mention he didn't.
He took you for a night in a Hotel as a treat this weekend.
I would say he has done pretty well as birthdays go.
... (read in full...)
I'm married and have been chatting with a man for a year. We'll never meet so its harmless isnt it?
Q. Ok so where do I start. When I was on maternity, I spent long days in the house by myself. My husband has become rather un-attentive and has lost interest in most conversation. I was very lonely and restricted in money for doing activities...
A. 21 July 2014: A friend of mine, happily married for years, had harmless chats (her words) with a guy from oversees.
She would be up early hours because of the time difference, so they could chat.
Long story short, she met up (what harm would it do - she said... (read in full...)
I feel like everything I valued about our relationship now means nothing
Q. I'm my boyfriends 3rd serious girlfriend. He had one relationship that lasted for 3 years, another that lasted 10 months, and us. There were a lot of obstacles in the way of our relationship to start with and we worked hard to be together (only th...
A. 20 July 2014: I have told more than one man I loved him, I have said all the usual lovey dovey things to each.
When I said them I meant them too.At the time.
If he's told you these 2 women meant nothing or similar it's to save your feelings, he's m... (read in full...)
Will he still like me if I wear something different?
Q. I met this guy a few weeks ago and we have been on quite a few dates. The first time we met I was wearing a skirt with a slip underneath. As he told me then and keeps telling me since, that he loves me wearing such clothes, I have always dressed ...
A. 20 July 2014: I should hope he would.
Yea men like feminine women but jeans and a top can be just as appealing. Could be he's a 'leg' man, but skinny jeans or even shorts show off legs too.
Just wear what your comfortable in, dress for the occasion.
So... (read in full...)
My partner and I get along brilliantly with my ex and his girlfriend but no one around us seems to understand. Is this situation really that weird?
Q. I feel like I'm having an affair because nobody accepts this situation!! I was with a man for 8 years, we never married but we did have two children during this time. We split up for many reasons, the relationship was horrible for the last 2 years...
A. 17 July 2014: Not weird - adult.
The kids benefit, you have a new friend, what's the big-deal
Sadly not all couples can be like this, its rare to be able to move on so well but it works for you lot so don't worry what others think.... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely miserable at my job, what should I do when there are no tasks needing doing?
Q. I've been working a 9-5 summer internship/job for the summer - I do get paid, but on the downside, I'm absolutely miserable. I ask my supervisors for work, but they really don't have anything for me to do. When they give me work, I accomplish it, ...
A. 17 July 2014: I know it makes for a very loooong day when your idle, I understand.
Why not investigate other departments via HR - see if they can find you a project?
If there isn't a large HR then send out internal emails requesting extra work.
Bypass ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? Holiday booked with Bf but I don't want to go.
Q. My boyfriend and I (both in twenties) have been together for 5 years but we're having our first holiday abroad this year. He can be very snappy at times and I've found he's been doing it a lot recently, I've talked to him and he's said he will sto...
A. 15 July 2014: Maybe life in general is stressing him out, job, bills etc and the holiday is just what he needs to chill out?
However, if this behaviour is normal for him I am surprised you have stuck it out for 5 years.
I would either try to get a refund and... (read in full...)
Why do I have to be my own mother? What do I do with my real one?
Q. I cannot live with my father because of legal issues between my siblings. I have moved out of there and into my mothers house. She has cheated on my father and continues to have this affair which includes extremely late nights where i cannot reach ...
A. 14 July 2014:
At your age you are an adult, your mum is merely enjoying her life, 'maybe' after years in an unhappy marriage she is finally looking out for herself.
If you lived on your own or in a shared house, you would be cleaning up, cooking, doing d... (read in full...)
I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should I be worried ?
Q. I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should i be worried ? The condom wasn't used, as his semen wasn't in it. It wasn't there when I went to his house before that. He told me that he had found it down the side of his other sofa, and he h...
A. 14 July 2014: I wouldn't be too worried, he sounds genuine from what you have said. Unless there have been other warning signs?
As for the tidying up, there are many men who do it when they run out of plates or can't find something. One of my sons is notoriou... (read in full...)
I found a receipt for perfume purchased after I went out after a row!
Q. can i have some advice please.i have been with my partner 5 years and we have a 16month son and i am 2 months pregnant with our second child. my partner is in the army so only comes home weekends, the last 2 weekends he has been so horrible to me ...
A. 14 July 2014: Just ask him, he may have bought it for you to say sorry. Or for his mums/sisters/nans birthday.
Your pregnant and your hormones are all over the place. The row has upset you and your thinking the worst. You could be right but you must ask him ... (read in full...)
Do some people go to extremes to break up with someone?
Q. My boyfriend has decided to end our relationship and we have agreed to be friends he told me he's not been well and had been to the hospital he won't tell me what's going on just its best for me to find someone else he said it was not good news and ...
A. 6 July 2014: The fact you have a child together totally changes this situation.
Ofcourse he should tell you if it's something serious - ie that it will shorten his life - hence his child would lose his father.
The fact he is in the pub means nothing, I... (read in full...)
What is the proper etiquette after a break up for letting people know?
Q. I need some post break up advice. I have recently broken up with my long term girlfriend an it is completely final. Because we've been together a long time, we have a lot of shared friends. When we first broke up, we didn't tell many people apart ...
A. 6 July 2014: If just one friend and one family member knows then the news spreads fast.
As for replying to everyone, you don't have to explain to anyone the reasons or chances of getting back together.
Time will answer everyone's questions. So, in the meant... (read in full...)
My fiances sister is a great girl, but I don't want her living with us!
Q. I understand that some of you may think I am purely being selfish but please try and understand what I'm saying.... Ok, so my fiancée and I got our own place last year. We had both saved to be able to buy our own place, and when we got engaged i...
A. 3 July 2014: You both saved hard to buy your own place and the only person who is gaining is the sister of your fiancée
You have been very reasonable and patient. She is profiting from this situation, nobody else.
If your fiancée wants to share the cost o... (read in full...)
Please help. Do I break it off, or do I fight for my relationship?
Q. I am in a relationship with a 24 year old man-boy, or so at times he acts like one. I am pretty laid back, and it doesn't take too much to please me in a relationship. However trust is the most important thing to me, and I feel like it is falling ...
A. 1 July 2014: When your in a relationship you should be happy and in love.
Your not happy, your being emotionally blackmailed in a way, he is pulling your heart strings when you argue by using tears. It's developed into a cycle now.
If you don't trust him,... (read in full...)
Do I contact him again when he's not responding?
Q. Ive been dating a man for over a year now. He is divorced and has kids. He is quite busy with his work, travels a lot for work, and deals with a lot of guilt about not spending enough time with his kids. Friday I texted him and asked him if...
A. 1 July 2014: Just leave him be, you are more invested in this relationship than he is and the cracks are showing now.
He has got baggage, a lot of it, plus his job which he needs to support his family by way of maintenance and also himself.
I don't think... (read in full...)
I was wrong, I cheated and how do I turn things around?
Q. I cheated on my wife with another woman, she's 29, and now the thrill has worn off. She moans about bills and laundry, and once in anger said "Go back to your ex-wife". Well, I'm still legally married to her, but I quit the marriage for this other ...
A. 1 July 2014: You should be single.
At the moment your just settling and because your wife wants you back you feel you have an escape from your new woman. You see your wife as just that, an escape route, nothing more.
Your not in love with either and are c... (read in full...)
My friends betrayed me when I was vulnerable
Q. Hi everybody, I'm guessing I'm going to get a lot of opinions on this question, I'm feeling pretty rubbish about it and I understand I was irresponsible. Please don't answer my questions with insults or lectures as I've had that off my parents and ...
A. 1 July 2014: Your so called friends went too far.
One knew it was wrong, the others should have been of the same mind.
Its one thing to dress you up, draw on your face, but the rest is wrong on so many levels.
I would re-think your friendships, y... (read in full...)
I am primarily attracted to men who don't seem to find me attractive and it hurts. I'm well educated, articulate and curvy. What do I need to consider or do?
Q. Hi everyone, I'd really value your thoughts and advice on my situation. First I'll give a bit of background to give you a better picture. I'm a 24 year old black girl from London and I am primarily (but not exclusively) attracted to white ...
A. 28 June 2014: Londons a melting pot of cultural differences. The only person setting limits is you.
Men I know don't give a damn about colour. In fact people I know don't even register the different races, unless the other doesn't speak English.
Their w... (read in full...)
My online boyfriend shouts at me and hangs up, but I am lonely without him
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy. We came to know each other through online dating website. It's been 1 year we have still not meet each other. In the initial 2-3 months he was very loving. He made me feel true love. He has been going through ...
A. 28 June 2014: What should you do?
Imagine where this relationship is going, you could never live with him, he's too volatile. You would be physically abused rather than verbally over the phone.
You deserve better.
So, gradually cut contact, so eventual... (read in full...)
He's lost his job and now I feel like we're over. He's cold and distant. Is this relationship over?
Q. He's lost his job and now I feel like we're over? My bf was the sweetest, caring and very attentive when he had a job. But he's lost his job 6 months now and he's just so distant and cold. He hardly calls or texts me. We argue every time w...
A. 28 June 2014: Its not over, just not the same.
He has lost his independence, his direction.If your working it just makes him feel inferior.He doesn't feel worthy.
Do you know anyone who needs a bit of gardening say or decorating done - so he earns a bit inst... (read in full...)
Do teenage girls care about a guy's looks?
Q. I'm a 17 year old kid. I'm kind of shy around certain people and kinda insecure like most teens are so of course I'm scared of rejection but I was just wondering 1 do girls around my age care about looks? And 2 what are some ways I can approach a ...
A. 20 June 2014: Yes they do.
And I bet you rate girls on looks too.
As for how to approach them, just don't be tacky or cheap, treat them with respect. Imagine chatting to your friends and do the same with girls, just to break the ice.
If you find one you r... (read in full...)
He's a recovering alcoholic, not yet divorced from his wife and 3 months post-breakup with his girlfriend. Is it reasonable to keep dating him and see how it goes?
Q. He's a recovering alcoholic (2 years and 3 months, attends AA) He is separated for 2.5 years, not yet divorced, while he is paying his wife for the business they had together He broke up with his girlfriend 3 months ago. I have been seei...
A. 20 June 2014: My first reaction is - How does he do it? A recovering alcoholic, a wife an ex girlfriend and now you. He must have something going for him!
Good for him kicking the drink. Now he has to untangle all his baggage.
Until then don't get involv... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a facebook page that says he's in a relationship with someone that isn't me???
Q. I recently found a new fb page for my bf who in fact says he doesnt use fb so wasn't going to add me, ths only way I found it was via my mates bf who told me, anyway this new fb page says hes in a relationship with somebody and its not me :( Ive lo...
A. 19 June 2014: I agree with anonymous, message the girl, tell her your his girlfriend and ask how she knows your boyfriend.
I don't think you will get a straight answer from either of them to be honest, maybe it's easier, as you don't trust him now, to walk awa... (read in full...)
Why would he say, "in another life, we would have been inseparable"?
Q. Can someone help me understand? I'm just getting to know this guy and our relationship is growing by the day. But he said something really odd and I couldn't reply except say "oh ok" because I didn't really understand. He said "I think in another...
A. 19 June 2014: He is just sweet talking you.....he's available for sex in this life but nothing more.
Your living in the here and now, so let him go home to his wife/girlfriend and sweet talk her.
At your age you should be wise to these elaborate quotes... (read in full...)
What does this comment mean?
Q. I work with this young married woman. As part of our job we deliver certain things around our place of work to different departments. Usually she walks behind me when we do this and she keeps slapping my bum. I once asked her what her husband woul...
A. 16 June 2014: She's married and flirting, plus a colleague
Don't go there you risk way too much.
Just have a laugh and leave it at that... (read in full...)
Are gold diggers happy?
Q. I am wondering this because just recently at work we found out that one of the most beautiful girls at work has started going out with one of our managers. In the 5 years I have worked at this place I have never noticed them flirting or laughing or ...
A. 16 June 2014: To be fair, unless the manager is on an amazing salary, he aint that rich. He will have money to pay for his ex too which will lessen his income.
Perhaps this girl just plays it cool at work so as to be professional.
If I was a beautiful young ... (read in full...)
I really want to leave but I have no money and feel trapped in this marriage
Q. I have been with my partner for five years. We have a 3 year old son together, my partner works full time, i work part time (i don't earn very much) but my partner is the one who brings in all the money and pays most bills (i do help out too). I am ...
A. 15 June 2014: If you leave and can still work you will get support from Child Tax Credits, Housing Benefit etc so your income, with the money from child maintenance payments, will be enough to live on.
If you can go to family until you save enough to rent som... (read in full...)
Am I not floating his boat?
Q. Curiosity got the better of me......I met a guy on a dating website and we have been meeting regularly for approx 6 weeks .....I deleted my account as I can only concentrate on one person at a time but today I re-registered to see if he was still on ...
A. 13 June 2014: I am not a big fan of online dating, as others say men see it differently to women. Most use it as a cheap way to meet women when they are single, newly divorced or just looking for a fling when married.
Having said that I know genuine men who ... (read in full...)
Is he just using me when desperate?
Q. I am seeing someone casually, sort of a no strings thing. I do like him but I am trying not to contact him as the no strings part of it is getting to me. I don't even know if we will see each other again unless he gets in touch - it is that casua...
A. 9 June 2014: He stays away for so long because he has a life, maybe a girlfriend or a wife too.
The reason he is timid when he suggests a meeting is probably because he knows it's weeks since he last saw you and he's pushing his luck by asking to see you.
... (read in full...)
Three years and I still can't move on
Q. 3 years ago, when I was 15, I split up with my boyfriend of 15 months, S. It hit me really hard. I stopped eating, lost 28lbs, stopped talking and just stopped being me afterwards for a long time (to the point where my mom made me go to the doctor ...
A. 9 June 2014: At your age you should be carefree. Its always hard to get past a first love, but that's what he was. Your FIRST love.
Focus on you and your life, your job,friends and family. Try a new look, new clothes,hair and a fresh attitude.
Things ... (read in full...)
Living together 3 years and it looks like he has no plans for marriage!
Q. I have been going out with a man for 3 years now. We live together and He has a son whom lives with him from a previous relationship. Me and the son get on great :) and there is not issues with the boys mother. My thing is after 3 years together...
A. 6 June 2014: I would hope that YOU have no plans for marriage, not to this man.
Your his babysitter so he is free to go drink.
Think long and hard about your future... (read in full...)
Neighbor asked my daughter to be bridesmaid then cancelled the big wedding and now I'm stuck with a dress and shoes!
Q. My Nextdoor neighbour was due to get married in August and asked my 7 year old daughter to be bridesmaid. My daughter was thrilled as she'd never been a bridesmaid before and it was probably her only chance (before shes an adult)as all our ...
A. 6 June 2014: Even if the wedding went ahead the dress etc would only have been worn once. Then I assume stored or sold.
I know its tough, £200 is a lot of money, but I would sell it for £90 or keep it for another wedding, it can be altered to fit if your dau... (read in full...)
Should I give this woman more support even though I know we will never be together?
Q. I'm wondering what I should do here. I am middle aged man who has been divorced for around 1.5 years after a long term marriage. I still care about my ex-wife though who basically decided she wanted to move to Florida and not be married any longer ...
A. 6 June 2014: Blimey how many women would love you as a friend/
Its entirely you call what you do or do not do for her. Her son is the one who needs guidance and a role model though, his mum is an adult who made choices.
I would do only what is basically nee... (read in full...)
If I start dating someone else, should I inform my FWB after a few dates, or should I wait for sexual intercourse to take place before performing my notification duty?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma: I'm in my late 40s, and I have a lady friend in her mid 50s. We are what I believe is called these days "friends with benefits", i.e., I have my manly needs, she has her womanly needs, and once a week we get together to ...
A. 6 June 2014: Good luck to you, if your both happy to continue then alls well!
Don't write off dating though as we never know who is round the corner, you may meet somebody whilst on a city break.
Or you may continue with your friend until your 90.
Its ... (read in full...)
He always has an excuse -- how do I call him on it without seeming clingy?
Q. I have been on and off with a man for almost a year. We care deeply for eachother but I sometimes feel he is taking the lend out of me. We arrange dates and outings but when the day arrives he always cancels and I am left feeling very low about ...
A. 4 June 2014: I would start saying no when he can manage to fit you in.Tell him you have other plans.
You should be a priority and if he really wanted to see you he would honour the date he made.
Its not clingy to say something, its standing up for yourself,... (read in full...)
Was this a genuine error or a ploy to get back in touch?
Q. Ok I fell out with my close male friend 8 months ago We were gonna get together but because he was going through a bad split my emotional clingy mess pushed him away Now 8 months later he's emailed me saying he 'accidentally' used my address f...
A. 4 June 2014: I agree with Aunt Honesty. Let him lead.
I have several addresses on Ebay as I have ordered presents here n there so its an easy mistake to tick the wrong box or forget to change it.
... (read in full...)
I really hope I haven't ruined things with this guy! What do I do now?
Q. Can someone please give me some advice?!!! For the last 6 weeks I have been on 5 dates with a guy from work I really like. The first few weeks were great and he made me feel fantastic! He brought chocolate to my office for me, we went on romantic ...
A. 4 June 2014: Relax, get a grip and stop reading things that aren't there.
You need to divert your mind to something else, he knows your interested and your now just feeding his ego.
Stop texting, let HIM come to you.
I know its hard but you can't get o... (read in full...)
I really hope I haven't ruined things with this guy! What do I do now?
Q. Can someone please give me some advice?!!! For the last 6 weeks I have been on 5 dates with a guy from work I really like. The first few weeks were great and he made me feel fantastic! He brought chocolate to my office for me, we went on romantic ...
A. 1 June 2014: He was romancing you,taking it slow,treating you like a lady (loverly lad) and you were pushing for the next level.
You asking him to stop over was the first mistake.Sex or not. Second was mentioning the other girl.
I don't know if you can ... (read in full...)
I know she has no interest in the activity, so why did she join my group?
Q. When my ex girlfriend and I were together, I could never get her to participate in any of the activities I enjoyed. Now that she's single again, she's deliberately joined one of the groups in which she knows I'm active with. An activity she has ...
A. 1 June 2014: Now that she's single again she is focusing on you. If it's not an interest she enjoys, and she get's nowhere with you, she will move on 'again' hopefully.
If that's what you want her to do.
... (read in full...)
Is it wise to play it cool now?
Q. I fell out with my close male friend eight months ago We got close too soon and as a result became clingy and too emotional and pushed him away Last night I saw him at a friends leaving do He saw me and looked awkward so I just remained calm ...
A. 1 June 2014: If it's 'just' friendship you want then there is no problem, to me you still sound emotionally attached, which would mean you would be back to square one if it all went wrong again.
You say you don't talk much anymore - but that you have spoken s... (read in full...)
I know she has no interest in the activity, so why did she join my group?
Q. When my ex girlfriend and I were together, I could never get her to participate in any of the activities I enjoyed. Now that she's single again, she's deliberately joined one of the groups in which she knows I'm active with. An activity she has ...
A. 1 June 2014: Actions speak louder than words.......you assume she doesn't want to get back together, she may actually want to.
Just be polite if you have to speak, don't feel uncomfortable, you got there first so to speak, eventually she will show her reas... (read in full...)
Is it wise to play it cool now?
Q. I fell out with my close male friend eight months ago We got close too soon and as a result became clingy and too emotional and pushed him away Last night I saw him at a friends leaving do He saw me and looked awkward so I just remained calm ...
A. 1 June 2014: Yes play it well cool, the air has cleared slightly but there was drink involved and a different atmosphere to work.
You make him sound like he spent an hour or so nodding like a wobbly doll, he may still like you a bit but in the cold light of... (read in full...)
If I start dating someone else, should I inform my FWB after a few dates, or should I wait for sexual intercourse to take place before performing my notification duty?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma: I'm in my late 40s, and I have a lady friend in her mid 50s. We are what I believe is called these days "friends with benefits", i.e., I have my manly needs, she has her womanly needs, and once a week we get together to ...
A. 23 April 2014: You sound like a lawyer!
I would just let the FWB know your now dating and won't be 'available' anymore. You don't have to, but it's an adult thing to do, rather than just cut all contact and vanish.
That way your being fair to the new woman an... (read in full...)
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