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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Is it a turn off to have sex on your period?
Q. Hey, know this is a weird question but if u have sex with a boy when your on your period is it a turn off ? ...
A. 4 August 2011: Major turn off. Just being honest.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't express her opinion
Q. I was born outside US but been here since March 2010. I have been in a relationship with an American girl who happens to be one year older than me. She is gorgeous and has sharp sense humor . I am her second boyfriend and she dated me months after ...
A. 4 August 2011: Give her time. If she truly is "very opinionated", the flood-gates will burst at one stage. Then again, maybe she just likes you taking the lead and being the assertive one... that's not really a bad thing is it? ... (read in full...)
Would a guy date a person like me?
Q. I think i have a really high sex drive. This in itself is not a problem but im just wondering if it is normal to have one as high i as i believe i have. I get myself off at least once a day and on some days it can be up to 5 or 6 times. I don't h...
A. 4 August 2011: Yes.... (read in full...)
I said I needed to focus on my self and now he is mad!
Q. I met ths guy to months ago and have fallen head over heals for him. I think he likes me too. But...... A couple of days ago I told him I needed to fall back and focus on me. Soooo today I texted him, he responded back so then I texted him and ...
A. 4 August 2011: Mixed signals much?... (read in full...)
Is my teacher ignoring my emails or does she have good reason to?
Q. Basically when we broke up for summer, i was really really unsettled and upset about leaving school for 7 weeks. I hate it at home but i love school where im around loving people who care about my emotions. I have my teacher, who i open up to and ...
A. 4 August 2011: Its a school website thingy... isn't it holidays now?
Teachers aren't allowed to give out personal contact details where I'm from, but can be contacted through school website thingies so that it can be monitored to prevent any funny business... (read in full...)
Could this technique help people to keep that 'honeymoon' feeling forever?
Q. Hey everyone, i've read loads of great advice on here about the 'honeymoon phase' of relationships, and how this fades in time in all relationships, and it leaves me wondering why we stay in long term relationships then? The honeymoon phase is great ...
A. 3 August 2011: The dating game can be exhilarating, but its flippin' exhausting and at times, tragic... dunno bout you, but when I'm old, bald and fat I don't plan on being a playboy, I plan on having someone who loves me- false teeth and all. ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'll never be able to move on from my married lover....
Q. After 3 years of being with an older married man, I finnally walked away from him last week. Ever since, he has pestered me with hundreds of texts and emails daily, constant calls and if I don't answer he leaves voicemails crying, telling me he lo...
A. 3 August 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-ex-had-my-name-tattooed-on-his.html
That was a month and a half ago. Why are you still in contact with this douche? Change your number!... (read in full...)
Never had a girlfriend or even been kissed and this bothers me to no end!
Q. I am an 18 year old male. I'm kind of frustrated. It seems that every one of my friends has a significant other and when I hang out with them I always feel like I'm getting in the way. I have never had a girlfriend or even been kissed and this ...
A. 29 July 2011: You miss 100% of the shots you never take.... (read in full...)
Any "happy ending" love stories?
Q. There are too many "my horrible love life is slowly killing me" posts. Anybody have any happy ending, true love, stories? Thanks! :)...
A. 29 July 2011: Ya can't forget that this is a site that people come to with their problems... nobody comes here to brag about their perfect life.
It's not an ending, but on a personal note, after dismal relationship success through high school to a soul-des... (read in full...)
Does he like me or am I getting tricked?
Q. A really popular guy is always saying hi to me and asking me how I am and he asked me if I wanted to do something with him when my friend left. He's got some friends who are super-popular and i'm a nerd. Is it possible he likes a nerd or is he ...
A. 28 July 2011: This guy that "tricked" you before... did you fool around with or have sex with..? I only ask because in high school (mine at least) whenever a girl had sex with someone from the school- the news spread fast and to every guy! Once guys know a girl ... (read in full...)
I want to quit masturbating!
Q. I find it hard to quit masturbating I do it daily and I mean I just dont want to do it anymore. does anyone have any advice for that, other than just dont do it? because trust me I tried to quit cold turkey but it didnt work. please help...
A. 27 July 2011: Cold showers or castration.... (read in full...)
How long do you think a guy waits to pop the question?
Q. Ok so I am 20 years old and my bf is 25, we have been together for a year and a few months. We both love each other a lot and we have made it a point to include each other in our separate lives since we started dating. I know all of his family and ...
A. 27 July 2011: Every guy is different... but without actually talking to him about it- you won't have much of an idea what he's thinking.
One thing I think you should take seriously though... when he has talked about marriage and weddings- I REALLY doubt he... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but am crushing on a friend. Do I act on it?
Q. So I'm in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. We love each other and don't ever plan to break up. However, I've had a crush on one of his friends from school for longer than I've been with my boyfriend, and it's really been ...
A. 26 July 2011: "We love each other and don't ever plan to break up."
Then don't be an idiot.... (read in full...)
Cold texts but warm body language, what does this mean ladies ?
Q. Ladies help me out with this one, girls are sooooooo difficult to figure out. I used to work with this girl, every weekend. I think she likes me because she is so shy around me, makes effort to speak to me but recently has been going so red in ...
A. 25 July 2011: erm... tried calling her instead of texting?... (read in full...)
Pressure over lending money to my fiance, please help!
Q. Hi, I need advice. Basically I am engaged (have been for a year now). I am working part time at my dad’s shop and generally trying to make money for the future. My girlfriend has been unemployed for about 2 years, she has tried her best to get a job ...
A. 25 July 2011: What has the world come to when the unemployed can no longer afford to own their own horse...
Tough times call for tough measures, not frivolous spending.
... (read in full...)
I took the coat to her, so surely she should be the one to travel to return it to me?
Q. I am hoping you could give me some objectivity here. You see my gf and I broke up a few months ago. It was an ugly break up. A lot of wounds. Still, there is anger and resentment on both sides. Now, while we were dating I lent her an expensive coa...
A. 25 July 2011: Swallow your pride, put your ego aside and realize that if you want the coat, you'll have to put the time in to go get it. Frankly I'm surprised she even agreed to meet halfway. ... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong? Or was he just not ready?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about two months and our relationship has taken a relatively serious turn recently, as we both feel a very strong connection to one another and have even dropped the word "love". However, my guy has me a little puzzled ...
A. 15 July 2011: Don't over think this too much. He may not have even been ready to cum. Sometimes it just takes a while to get used to "finishing" with somebody else working the controls. Some guys can't "finish" from oral or hand jobs. I never have personally, ... (read in full...)
I hate how bitter she's being about the break up. She was hurt more than I was but now that I want back together, shouldn't that fix it?
Q. So, I'm not one for dating advice columns or anything like that. That being said, bear with me a bit. Alright, so I've been through a lot of difficult relationships. I recognize the fact that the difficulty in some cases was my doing. I though...
A. 15 July 2011: You hate her friends and the fact she has facebook...
Too bad. She's seen how important it is to have social interactions with people other than being solely dependent on a partner for that. Break ups can be devastating when you don't have a s... (read in full...)
Me LD friend, chatted it up but when we starting sexting he wont talk about anything else.How do I get my friend back?
Q. 3 months ago i met a guy on facebook. I live in Canada, he is in Granada. We discussed religion, music, our cultures, etc., nice fun easy flowing chats. We progressed to once a week cellphone text, max characters. Emails, everyday...fell in love, or ...
A. 15 July 2011: Well firstly, have you told him how you feel?
And there's a place called Granada?... (read in full...)
Should I let my friend the world traveler say with me or not? What would you do?
Q. dear cupaid, I am having guilt and disappoinment over some friend issues. My Fabulous and popular friend the Pro world travler(and aspiring travel author) wants to come and stay with me and my DH again for 3 months. She wants to stay with me for 3 ...
A. 15 July 2011: Personally I wouldn't let her, but then again I can be pretty stubborn when it comes to the principle of matters.
So is it the principle that's getting in the way here? Or will you enjoy having her over as a friend? Could you compromise and say ... (read in full...)
How do I prove to her that I do trust her?
Q. how can i get through to my gf that i do trust her? my gf says i give vibes of not trusting her. she says i don't trust her because im not ready to give her my cc info and car insurance info for rental cars or hotel reservations, i don't want her ...
A. 15 July 2011: Proof? Well it certainly doesn't come in the form of credit card details or letting her take advantage of you. Fact is that she's the one being unreasonable. Don't let her guilt you into allowing things you're uncomfortable with simply by her ... (read in full...)
I'm having sex with my best friend's married father who is 54!
Q. Basically, i am having sex with my bestfriends dad. I am 25 and he is 54. He is still married and has been for 27 years. His wife is 58 and he says she dows not share the same sexual desire as he does. It all began 3 month ago when i stumbled...
A. 14 July 2011: You're gonna feel mighty foolish when you're found out. You'll lose him, your best friend and your name will be mud.
You'll destroy their family and you'll have to live with that.
Please don't be an idiot. Don't put yourself in situations w... (read in full...)
Would you date a girl with a moustache?
Q. Hi guys. I just want to know what u guys think of girls that have moustaches and if you can date one. Because i have a friend, a girl that has a moustache which makes her so self conscious and insecure about herself. Also what are the best ways to ...
A. 14 July 2011: Mustache's are sexy.... (read in full...)
My ex bf wants us to have some fun and make it our little secret so my Low sex drive Fiance don't find out
Q. ok well im back with another dilema :( my ex boyfriend (not my bby daddy) has been talking to me. he was always a great friend but when we were together we had sex once and thats all. we stayed in touch after we broke up.he was always a better ...
A. 14 July 2011: Well said Ampersand.... (read in full...)
Should I take the plunge and tell him how I feel or risk ruining our friendship ?
Q. I'll spare you all the details but basically, he asked me out last year, I had to say no for personal reasons, but I liked him and have realized over the course of the last few months that I'm ready to date again, and I'm still into him. Whether or ...
A. 14 July 2011: Tell him with your hand... by holding his... hand.
Just initiate something that you wouldn't normally do as a friend, an extra long hug, a kiss on the cheek or forehead, lips if you're game... just anything that lets him know that you're interest... (read in full...)
Dating a girl with a child, what do people think about it?
Q. I need to know,what are peoples views on girls/women with children.What do guys think about it,is it something guys would go for,or stay away from,also what are the statistics, and societys perception of it.Also give reasons as to why or why you ...
A. 13 July 2011: Meh, its definitely something that needs a bit of mulling over for youngish guys... The main things that I've learned so far having been dating a single mum for a while now is that you both just have to take things slowly, delicately and more ... (read in full...)
Alone and pregnant???
Q. I've been seeing someone for around 2 weeks now and there is a chance i may be pregnant already, however we have used contraception each time and i am going to take a home pregnancy test tomorrow to be sure, i need to get a chance to tell him that ...
A. 12 July 2011: Tackle this one problem at the time. Take the test first.... (read in full...)
Should I go to his party?
Q. I have been invited to a surprise birthday party for a guy I have known for several years. He has had feelings for me for a long time and has often tried to tell me by asking my friends how I feel and writing me letters. I do not reciprocate his ...
A. 12 July 2011: If you don't want to go, then just don't go. There's a million different excuses you can use.
If you go, he could take that as a sign of interest... which may make him more persistent.
... (read in full...)
Ex wants me to help her with repairs around her house, and is furious because I said I would charge her for it! Does that make me a jerk?
Q. I dated a girl for a while. In that time, I did a lot of things for her. One thing I did was help around her house. I am very handy and once worked for a plumber. I mowed the lawn and did repairs. We broke up two month ago. It was a bad breakup....
A. 11 July 2011: Starts out as an odd job for an ex, then it turns into a regular thing... even you can see that happening, and I'm guessing you don't want that.
Gotta draw the line sometime and right after a break up is when it should be drawn.
Good for you ... (read in full...)
My GF wants me to remove a tattoo from my chest which spells my late sister's name, because my ex had the same name, and my GF doesn't want to be reminded of my ex!
Q. My twin sister died a few years ago in a car accident. I was really affected by her death. She wasn't just my sister but my best friend. I got a tattoo of her name on my chest so that she'll always be next to my heart. I have been seeing a...
A. 11 July 2011: Just lay down the law. I'm never getting rid of this tattoo, so either you can accept that... or there's the door.
... (read in full...)
Have you never had a girlfriend because you're too picky?
Q. I have a serious question for men who have never ever had a girlfriend in their life. I'm noticing a serious pattern between you guys. Why are you guys so picky? I was playing matchmaker for some of my male "never had a gf in their life" friends and ...
A. 8 July 2011: Yeah... cos no women have long lists of "must haves" and give every average joe a chance- regardless of his attractiveness... c'mon.
Its important to both sexes and just because a guy has never had a girlfriend, doesn't necessarily mean he will ... (read in full...)
I'm never going to find a guy! Is it my size or what?
Q. Hey so I need help. I'm starting to think that I will never find a guy. I'm a plus size model (fiercely real) and have had guys tell me im gorgeous but never want to be in a relationship with me. Is it my size or what? Its kinda lowering my ...
A. 8 July 2011: I agree with odds.
Yes, I'm a douche, but I'm not going to lie and say that being large isn't a negative point for many guys when it comes to relationships. We want a girlfriend we can show off to our friends and parents and be proud of, but when... (read in full...)
I want his feelings to be spontaneous, not deliberate
Q. I'm married and my husband really loves me. to me, if you love somebody, you spontaneously start not to like the other males, spontaneously don't find any of them handsome or attractive. Love is like that for me. Thaank god, my husband thinks the ...
A. 8 July 2011: You're seriously over-thinking this. He's not trying to convey any hidden meaning here, he just wasn't as eloquent in his wording as you probably were. He's your husband, you trust him, so try not to read into everything he says as if you'd been ... (read in full...)
Is it because I'm a virgin?
Q. Hey, so im 16 and im dating my brothers friend who is 23. We are very close and have no secrets. He wants to marry me and have me live with him once I turn 18. He has this issue down south and he gets an extremely unbearable pain if he doesnt have ...
A. 8 July 2011: Extremely unbearable pain... sorry, but I think you should call his bluff and go to a doctors appointment with him.
It's bull crap. Straight up. Medically speaking, he hasn't got a leg to stand on. And if he can't get himself off by masturba... (read in full...)
Is there any point to dating and relationships if you are infertile?
Q. My partners ex, was fertile and had children for my partner. I am infertile and cannot have any children. My partner seems okay with this, but his mother told me that I should do the right thing and leave him, so he can have a family and be happy ...
A. 7 July 2011: Sneaky suspicion its the mother that wants to scare you off and doesn't speak for your partner or his intentions whatsoever...
Screw her. What a cow. If life was about procreation alone, we wouldn't be so radically different from every other sp... (read in full...)
My sex drive is much higher during that time of the month. Is this normal?
Q. I am 20 and have noticed that I am so much hornier when I have my period. It's awfffuullll....... Do other women experience this? Men, do you recognize with the women you're with? Thanks for anything. :)...
A. 7 July 2011: Yeah, that seems to be the norm... much to the frustration of both men and women everywhere.... (read in full...)
Do all girlfriends steal from their boyfriends?
Q. My favorite soft drink is Mountain Dew and I have a Mountain Dew T-shirt. After my girlfriend came up in my room and when I wasn't in my room with her, I think she took my T-shirt. I'm not 100% sure she took it, but my T-shirt has been missing for a ...
A. 7 July 2011: Heh, a lot do in my experience... but they don't do it because they're short on clothes. Either they like that it smells like you or its a big warm hoodie that's warmer than anything in their wardrobe.
But relax buddy, its a good thing.
... (read in full...)
How can I make her believe in me and in us ?
Q. hey,am well im 36 and my girlfriend is 25.She already a single mother of a boy.she was betrayed in the last relationship and the father wanted nothing to do with her son.She is 10 weeks pregnant,and she knew for a few weeks and was afraid to tell me ...
A. 7 July 2011: Well, what you've got here is one of those moments where you can be a white knight. You can ride in and restore her faith in men by tackling the same issue but in the right way...
the real man's way.
Lead by example. If you want her to open ... (read in full...)
My doctor put me on anti-depressants, and I'm noticing my sex drive is THROUGH THE ROOF! How can I counteract this?
Q. I am so frustrated right now. I've been feeling really down for a while and finally talked to my doctor about it a few weeks ago. He started me on an antidepressant called citalopram (aka celexa) and set me up with a therapist. There are a few ...
A. 7 July 2011: Well if its that much of a problem, go back to your doctor and have him prescribe you a different anti-depressant. They don't tend to be all that generic and one anti-depressant may work for one person, but not work on another... ya gotta find a ... (read in full...)
I'm worried people aren't seeing the real her...she even wears colour contacts! What do you think?
Q. My best friend wears coloured contacts that make her dark brown eyes, hazel. She said she wears them because they make her feel sexy, mysterious and more attractive. Which i agree, when she wears them even i'm intimidated by how hott she looks! She ...
A. 7 July 2011: Makeup, push up bra's, body gloves, high heels, hair extensions, curlers, straighteners... (need I go on?) These things all give a false image of who somebody is, doesn't necessarily mean that anyone who uses them has low self esteem or isn't ... (read in full...)
I'm having sex with my best friend's married father who is 54!
Q. Basically, i am having sex with my bestfriends dad. I am 25 and he is 54. He is still married and has been for 27 years. His wife is 58 and he says she dows not share the same sexual desire as he does. It all began 3 month ago when i stumbled...
A. 7 July 2011: Realistically, its going to play out just as k c100 said. If you're smart you'll listen to her... because he will not leave his wife for you, that much I can tell you without a doubt in my mind.
Right now its all about damage minimiza... (read in full...)
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