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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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He thinks I fake it in bed, when he is actually the best I have ever had! How do I get him to realise this?
Q. dear cupid my boyfriend and i have been dating for a month. i could count on one hand how many times we have had sex and i feel it isnt normal because my past relationships i'd usually lose count after the first week. he tells me he is really ...
A. 16 March 2011: You can't fake squirting and not many women can do it... maybe you could let him know something to that effect?
Otherwise its just going to take lots of pumping up his ego over time for him to start believing you. Or perhaps try initiati... (read in full...)
She said she loves me to bits - does this mean she has romantic feelings for me or just wants to be friends?
Q. A girlfriend I have gone out with for a while....We made out on the beach last night, she said she wanted me so much... She then sent me this message "I do love you to bits,,," Does she mean she just want us to be friends? as lover/romantic pa...
A. 16 March 2011: Her saying "I do love you to bits" isn't what catches my eye here...
From my neck of the woods, when a girl says she wants you so much/so bad, that pretty much means she wants a shag... right now... but that's just my experience.... (read in full...)
We have been talking for 3 weeks but never have met, yet now he says he loves me! What is going on?
Q. So I joined this dating site a few months ago and went out with a lot of weirdos, than I started talking to this guy on the site who seems the most normal of them yet. To make a long story short, we exchange numbers and start talking on the phone ...
A. 16 March 2011: He went out tonight and texted you that he loved you...
Not that I doubt your "lovableness", but do you think alcohol could have been influencing his texting?... (read in full...)
How do you make an ex jealous?
Q. Whats the best way to make a recent ex jealous and want to talk to you again? Or want your back?...
A. 16 March 2011: The absolute best way??
Moving on with your life, being genuinely happy and running into your ex by coincidence. ... (read in full...)
Can someone fall in love with a hooker?
Q. Do you think that someone can really fall in love with a hooker? I have been doing this profession for over a year now and I have had few clients that I liked but this time I feel that I really have fallen in love with this guy, I can't stop think...
A. 16 March 2011: Of course people can fall in love with hookers... particularly clients.
Pipe up next time you see him!... (read in full...)
Why are guys such pigs?
Q. Why are guys such pigs? Ok, so I've recently started talking to a guy from high school. I've been out of high school for about four years, and it's nice to be able to reminisce with him. So we've been talking. And suddenly, he starts telling m...
A. 16 March 2011: You could have shut him down much earlier before it got to the point where you felt you were "harassed".
Excessive compliments, admitting he used to like you, calling you "babe", hitting on you... you just laughed it off or said thank you. Ma... (read in full...)
What drives partner's to cheat on one another? What makes them feel an attraction for a person other than the person they agreed to marry?
Q. I come on this site every day to read new questions that have been posted. I love this site, and I love giving people advice who ask for it. However, I have noticed a lot of questions posted about affairs, cheating, etc. People asking for advice ...
A. 16 March 2011: I think what you have to remember is that this site is where people come with problems. It's not an accurate cross-section of relationships worldwide... its just a good indicator of the types of relationship problems that people have.
Think... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend that I have herpes before or after his trip?
Q. Yesterday, I found out that I have hsv2 (genital herpes). I have been dating a guy for over 3 months and am not sure wether to tell him. He goes overseas for between 6 and 9 months tomorrow. This is a trip that he has been planning with a friend of ...
A. 16 March 2011: Listen to your doctor. ... (read in full...)
B/f thinks if I have sex with another girl it will help our relationship
Q. Hello DC aunts and uncles. I'm in need of advice, I will make this short. My boyfriend honestly believes that if I have sex with another girl it would "help" our relationship. Personally thats a load of bull. I know it won't I know things will only ...
A. 16 March 2011: I'm confused. Are you saying he wants YOU to have sex with a girl or are you saying that he wants you BOTH to have a threesome with a girl.
Why on earth would he think it would help your relationship either way?... (read in full...)
Please help me, should I stay with my lazy fiancé?
Q. I need help. I have been with my partner for just over two years now and he proposed to me last october. I really love him but I've been having alot of doubts if he is really the one for me and if our relationship will ever last. I have been hav...
A. 16 March 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/seriously-debating-whether-to--break-up-or.html... (read in full...)
I'm dating a lovely new man, but am terrified of getting hurt again, and want to walk now while I still can!!
Q. Hi all. I would appreciate any advice on the following. I came out of an abusive relatinship not to long ago. It has been on and off for months, and I suffered with really bad depression with it at the end of last year and was off work in bed for ...
A. 16 March 2011: I think you need to trust yourself more.
You've been through a relationship with a guy who started off as normal but gradually became controlling, manipulative and emotionally abusive. You know what to expect. You know the warning signs. ... (read in full...)
Out of town trip is turning into a complicated mess!
Q. I'm not sure what to do. I have been invited to someone's birthday night out which is in a town about an hour away from where i live. I have only met this woman once. She is a relative of my sister in law. I met her at my brother's and sister in ...
A. 16 March 2011: I think you should ring this girl up and iron out the details...
If you don't feel comfortable calling her, then you probably won't be comfortable around her or her friends and you should think about giving this one a miss... at least for now. ... (read in full...)
Am I pushing him away by asking about marriage every couple of months?
Q. Hi everyone, Just wondering what your opinions are on my current predicament. Thank you in advance for reading and advising. I'm 27, my boyfriend is 32. When we began dating 2 years ago we were clear that we didn't want to date for long as we'd...
A. 15 March 2011: Oh wow... marriage is not what should be concerning you right now...
He hasn't told his parents about you...
There is no excuse for him not to have told them after being with you for two years... He's keeping you at a distance and if ... (read in full...)
Having an open relationship while being in love?
Q. Hello, I am 20 years old, and have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. We have been recently engaged and I couldn't be more happier. But, the question arose of him wanting an open relationship. At first, I was hurt by him even telling ...
A. 15 March 2011: Danger, danger!!
As blonde30s said, open relationships can only work when both people are happy about it.
You say you can't leave him, so pretty much you're going to do whatever he wants at the expense of your own well-being. You... (read in full...)
I dumped her 8 times and now I'm fuming that she has found new love?? Any thoughts??
Q. Last year I casually dated a girl on an off for 10 months. She fell head over heals in love with me and worshiped the ground that I walked on. LSS I took her kindness for a weakness and abused the hell out of her and dumped her for the 8th time in ...
A. 15 March 2011: You dumped her 8 times and are now upset that she's moving on? Why? Where is all this hatred coming from? You say that you deserve a better woman, but you also said that she worshiped the ground you walked on... please explain? No offense, but ... (read in full...)
It's not fair!! The woman who my fiance cheated with is happy with her own new family...while I am still suffering from his affair.
Q. I don't think its fair how the woman who played a part in my relationship stresses, gets to have her happy relationship. She now has a partner and child and is getting married. I have my child and home but harbour the anger towards her and my fianc...
A. 12 March 2011: She did a bad thing. She made a mistake.
Get over it.
She has nothing to do with you or your relationship now, so either you can choose to rise above it and move on or let it pointlessly consume you. There is no closure in a situation like t... (read in full...)
How do I bring this up to Bob???
Q. so im bad i was snooping in bf of 2 yrs phone and found a recently contacted out of state #. so i memorize it and call from my phone. girl answers. so i freak and hang up. then i text and pretend i went to high school with her and name off random ...
A. 11 March 2011: It's not a crime to have opposite sex friends and no wonder he didn't own up to talking to her given the way you're reacting.
You know nothing for sure, don't delude yourself into thinking that two wrongs make a right.... (read in full...)
If I am TOO shy could that end up pushing away a boy I like?
Q. I really like this guy. We've actually never spoken to each other before, but he gets along with a guy friend of mine, so I know what kind of guy he is. These past weeks we've been exchanging glances in the hallways and during our P.E. period. I've ...
A. 11 March 2011: I know that you think you've made it pretty obvious, but exchanging glances is FAR from obvious. Throw out more obvious signs that you like him, perhaps brush past him in the hallways and touch his arm as you do so. If there's plenty of space for ... (read in full...)
He has a drug problem, I may be pregnant, I really love him, what should I do??
Q. Idk where to start i just need someone to really talk to i have no friends or family to turn to. ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year now but ive known him longer than a year and at 1st or relationship was great i guess u could call it the ...
A. 11 March 2011: Well first off I think you should confirm 100% that you are actually pregnant.
Tackle this one problem at a time or you'll be overwhelmed like you are right now. ... (read in full...)
Question for Men ONLY!!!!
Q. Question for men only!!!! Did you go back to your girlfriend after pulling back from the relationship for a while?...
A. 11 March 2011: Quiet woman... Men are talking.... (read in full...)
He's distanced himself from me since I asked if we could move in together...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and we are very close and I thought it was time to ask him to move in with me so i did but its only worked the other way, we see less and less of each other since i asked. Is it because he doesnt ...
A. 11 March 2011: Leading you on? Well you can't really say he's leading you on unless he's talked about wanting a future with you. If he hasn't, then its your own expectations that are leading you on, not him.
If you haven't talked about a future together... (read in full...)
How do I bring this up to Bob???
Q. so im bad i was snooping in bf of 2 yrs phone and found a recently contacted out of state #. so i memorize it and call from my phone. girl answers. so i freak and hang up. then i text and pretend i went to high school with her and name off random ...
A. 11 March 2011: You know what happens when you go looking for trouble?
You find it... even when there is none.
Your snooping is a worse violation of trust than anything you have evidence of him doing. I wouldn't bring it up unless you KNOW he's guilty of w... (read in full...)
How do I acheive a flat stomach?
Q. Dear Cupid...if a person wants to have a flat stomach, how many situps would you advice them to do a day? Thank you...
A. 11 March 2011: Flat stomach or firm stomach? Apologies if you know this already, but you can't target where you want to lose fat from simply by targeting that area with specific exercises.
Say you do a million sit-ups... You'd build muscle fibres and they'd m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend threatens to hit me, and breaks up with me when he wants to sleep with other girls. He wants me to move in with him. Can he really change?
Q. I hope that you can help me. I can't trust my family or friend’s opinion because they're obviously going to take my side. Alright so my boyfriend of a year is asking me to move back with him. I love him very much but he has done so many awful things ...
A. 10 March 2011: You don't want opinions... you want reassurance that he'll change otherwise you would have gone to your friends (who no doubt hate him and with good reason). Sweetheart, trust me, he won't. This man is going to destroy you and you don't even seem ... (read in full...)
Question for Men ONLY!!!!
Q. Question for men only!!!! Did you go back to your girlfriend after pulling back from the relationship for a while?...
A. 10 March 2011: Many times.
It's never worked out for me. ... (read in full...)
What to think about now?
Q. Well my ex ldr just called me up wanting to tell me some thing that she has hpv. I asked her what it was in now Im freaking out. And now I ask her if she is seeing some one else and she said yes. Why would you keep on calling me about gay ass shit I ...
A. 10 March 2011: You haven't really given much information about your relationship with her to be able to comment on whether you can get her back. Who broke up with whom, how long did it last, how often did you see each other, were you each others first love, why ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants us to stay in different rooms for a month!
Q. my girlfriend turned round to me as i was about to get into bed last night and said she wanted us to stay in different rooms and not have sex for a month so she can work herself out and that it wont be a problem if i love her. Someone tell me how i ...
A. 10 March 2011: Err... I'd leave. This is not just about sex, she's blatantly emotionally withdrawing from you yet she still wants to stay in the house for a month for her to "sort herself out". Sort herself out... what a load of crap. If you're smart you... (read in full...)
What to think about now?
Q. Well my ex ldr just called me up wanting to tell me some thing that she has hpv. I asked her what it was in now Im freaking out. And now I ask her if she is seeing some one else and she said yes. Why would you keep on calling me about gay ass shit I ...
A. 9 March 2011: "why would she even call me if she wanted to move on?" Why would she tell you she has an STD if she wanted you back? Dude, you need to stop thinking that she's got an ulterior motive here or doing this just to fuck with you. She let you know... (read in full...)
I have an intense urge to wear female clothes when I'm having sex with my girlfriend, but she is fed up with this. I need your advice!
Q. I’m a 23 year old guy with a very normal life. I have been quite lucky with a number of gals I have had in my life and I’m completely straight. But I have this great urge inside to wear sexy female dresses, and this started during my college days. I ...
A. 9 March 2011: You've let this get out of hand a bit dude. See you brought this on her slowly and she was happy doing this occasionally at first because it made you happy. But in a way you've abused her willingness to please you to the point where she's fed up ... (read in full...)
She lied to me and I was completely honest with her!
Q. Hello everyone, I just need some help and advice. I am m27 engaged to someone I truly love and adore f21. Both of us know each other for last 8 months. I cleared and said everything about my past and she did the same as well. Now 3 days back, i...
A. 9 March 2011: Drink?
Who hasn't?
Emotional affair?
Bit of a fancy word for male/female friendships, lets not forget its classification as an E.A. depends entirely on perspective based subjective evidence. Did you find this out from someone who was connecte... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to marry me because I never let him win??
Q. I'm in shock and lost for words right now. My boyfriend/fiance of about 6 years off and on finally told me last night that the reason he has been so hesitant on marrying me is because he has worked his whole life on his business, and if he ever got ...
A. 9 March 2011: Yes, people can be this greedy... which certainly would explain why he's so hesitant. He's worked on his business for his entire life, its clearly important to him and doing this to somebody he loves is not the issue. Nobody goes into marriage ... (read in full...)
This question is for the guys. What does it mean when a guy says "I never meant to...(e.g. hurt you).)
Q. What is the meaning of "I NEVER MEANT TO"? I thought I knew the meaning of the phrase, “I never meant to”...but now I realise that I don’t. This question is mainly for the MALES. Guys, what is the meaning of the sentence, “I never meant to...(e....
A. 9 March 2011: The words mean exactly what they mean... just not when they come out of the mouth of a liar.... (read in full...)
Is thinking of someone else cheating?
Q. dont you think that masturbating thinking of someone else when in already in a relationship with another guy is cheating on one's partner? ...
A. 9 March 2011: Hah, absolutely not.... (read in full...)
Is he a genuine guy? Or does he just want to get in my pants?
Q. Ok so their is this guy, we are best friends. Only for the last couple months. I have been very stressed out recently with school and friends, I have panic attacks and stress attacks, and he has really helped by pretty much just being there But in...
A. 9 March 2011: Even genuine guys want to get into a girls pants. Fact.
What makes a guy genuine is how much he respects you and your limits. Simply put, I think a genuine guy is just willing to suppress his urges for longer and put in more effort for longer. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's behavior is manipulative, mean and controlling and I feel helpless because my pride, respect and self-esteem is being crushed..
Q. i'm not sure what it is i'm doing wrong. i've been dating my girlfriend for nearly 4 years. she's 5 years older than me but personally, i've never cared about age. gradually over the years, like many relationships, you are either good or you star...
A. 9 March 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/seriously-debating-whether-to--break-up-or.html
Since you're evaluating your relationship, check out this link.... (read in full...)
Does No-Contact (NC) Works on failing relationship
Q. Hi Does NC (No Contact) rules really works. My bf of 2 years is not attentive to me as he was before, he often ignores me and i am the one who always initiate the conversation. I am planning to use NC for few days and see how that goes. I li...
A. 9 March 2011: Nope, it doesn't.
Here's why... NC is something that can work for couples that have broken up. It's the best way for someone to get over their partner and its for that very same reason that an ex is likely to get back in contact with them. ... (read in full...)
I'm crazy for him and I need him
Q. Hi everybody, I am a 17 year old Bisexual male. I have these two friends, "Stephen" who is my age, and his younger brother "Tyler" who is a few years younger than us. They are both the quiet type and i'm really the only guy they hang out with. ...
A. 9 March 2011: Provided that he knows that you're bisexual then yeh, I'd say he's into you.... (read in full...)
What to think about now?
Q. Well my ex ldr just called me up wanting to tell me some thing that she has hpv. I asked her what it was in now Im freaking out. And now I ask her if she is seeing some one else and she said yes. Why would you keep on calling me about gay ass shit I ...
A. 9 March 2011: Here's a link if you want to know more about HPV
http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me, am I overreacting by what I'm asking of him?
Q. im kinda confused and i hope that somebody can help me.ive been in a relationship with this guy for 5 months now. he cheated on me at the very beginning. but i did forgive him, because we hadnt been together that long and maybe he didnt take us ...
A. 9 March 2011: You're not his prison warden. He shouldn't have to do the things you are asking and you shouldn't have to feel that you need him to do these things for you to trust him.
You're both not compatible for each other.... (read in full...)
What to think about now?
Q. Well my ex ldr just called me up wanting to tell me some thing that she has hpv. I asked her what it was in now Im freaking out. And now I ask her if she is seeing some one else and she said yes. Why would you keep on calling me about gay ass shit I ...
A. 9 March 2011: She's ringing you to tell you that she has a sexually transmitted disease and presumably that you should get yourself tested.
This ain't no game she's playing dude.... (read in full...)
Getting involved with married colleague??
Q. Hi, this is the first time I have used a forum for advice. I know a lot of people will judge me negatively but all constructive comments are really appreciated. I have been with my husband for 7 years and married for 6 months. I love him very mu...
A. 9 March 2011: Cheating just before getting married, not feeling guilty or regretting cheating, pursuing an affair with a married man all of which your husband is completely unaware of.
You are everything I don't want in a wife.
Work on your marriage fo... (read in full...)
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