Wife wants to nude sunbathe in front of family
Q. advise - my brother and his wife moved in with my wife and i. my wife likes to sunbathe nude and wants to continue with them here....
A. 10 August 2022: That would be a No from me.
Now I get not liking tan lines or whatnot, but unless she is a swimsuit model or something like that (where people can SEE "ugly" tan lines) I don't see the necessity to sunbathe in the nude.
What is HER reasoning fo... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing ending it?
Q. Update on this post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/have-i-romanticized-him-too-much.html I have cut off this guy completely as I took the red flags seriously, but not only that, he actually exposed himself without even realizing that. The...
A. 9 August 2022: I think you realized that it was all a fantasy and YOU got caught up in it.
Adding the odd question about pornography and "it's just acting" made it easier for you to walk away.
There is nothing wrong with realizing this is NOT what I want from... (read in full...)
How do I get her love back
Q. I have my girlfriend that hate me and i got hurt but i still love her.when i call her she abuses me and don't want to pick my calls but me i still love her what should i do to get in love with her back....
A. 8 August 2022: Break up with her, wish her well and block her number and leave her alone.
If she doesn't love you back then this is not a good relationship for EITHER of you.
You can't MAKE her love you.
And YOU might call her your GF but I don't think she... (read in full...)
Boyfriend asking me to pay half his mortgage but not on paperwork Title (e.g. My husband is addicted
Q. Hope I can get a little help with something. I moved in with my boyfriend recently and I pay money into the house to pay half of the bills and such which I am totally fine with. Due to me moving in, he lost his single-person council tax di...
A. 8 August 2022: OP,
You are not OWED to be on the house deed the moment you move in. You are not paying 1/2 the mortgage you are paying him RENT. The rent money COVERS half of HIS mortgage. This is not your home. The LOAN for the mortgage is in HIS name. NOT your... (read in full...)
What's his deal anyway?
Q. Three times I went out with a guy who I met through dating app, on the first date he said he deleted his account on dating app, but he has not and he has been seeing other girls. But he constantly keeps asking my whereabouts and what I've been doing ...
A. 7 August 2022: Sounds like he is making a lot of presumptions about you and women in general.
YOU do not OWE a guy you are going on dates with an itinerary of your whereabouts on demand. EVER. If you are seriously dating, you don't either, nor if you are marr... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I ask him to prove he's broke
Q. I married someone from another country 3 years ago. Unfortunately, they won't even allow him to come to my country on a visiting visa. So, I go visit him in his country. I have offered to move to his country, but he feels I'm not safe there p...
A. 5 August 2022: Sounds like a marriage scam OP
Why in the World are you PAYING a man who CAN NOT EVER take care of you or provide for YOU and any family you could have?
You feel used because you ARE being used.
Just get a divorce and find someone closer ... (read in full...)
Travelling man
Q. This may seem like a strange question but my partner’s mom lives in a retirement community in Florida. He has gone down to visit in the past for 1 to 2 months. I’ve gone with him for 2 weeks max but I’m not able to stay as long because my ex and I ...
A. 5 August 2022: I can see both sides here.
But, I think he is being unfair and stringing you along while waiting on his mother to pass away.
While she is alive he only visits Florida, once she is passed he is staying there 50/50 which would also mean he wou... (read in full...)
Partner does not listen or help during medical emergencies
Q. I am 65 and my guy is 68. In many ways he is very sensible, calm, wise, reliable and everything I could wish for. But I have an illness and sometimes it is necessary to ring for an ambulance urgently because I struggle to breath at those times. He ...
A. 5 August 2022: Can you get a medical alert necklace or bracelet?
One where you can have a button to call in case of emergencies, the ambulance will show up without a lengthy call. ... (read in full...)
Partner does not listen or help during medical emergencies
Q. I am 65 and my guy is 68. In many ways he is very sensible, calm, wise, reliable and everything I could wish for. But I have an illness and sometimes it is necessary to ring for an ambulance urgently because I struggle to breath at those times. He ...
A. 4 August 2022: Write down what you want him to say when calling an ambulance.
Have it near your phone.
You already know that your "guy" is useless and doesn't think for himself, we can't magically fix him from here.
Work with what you got. Maybe have a dr... (read in full...)
I wrong for taking this promotion instead of putting my niece and nephew first?
Q. During the past few years, I have helped my brother and sister-in-law with their kids (my nieces and nephew). My work schedule allowed it. I would often drop them off at school, pick them up from school, take them to practice (baseball practice and ...
A. 4 August 2022: "Am I wrong for taking this promotion instead of putting my niece and nephew first?"
Absolutely not!
It's THEIR kids. Their problem to solve.
You did an AMAZING thing to help out as much as you did and your brother and SIL should be gratef... (read in full...)
Is this a taking of advantage possible situation
Q. While there is a real-life situation behind this question obviously, I would like to ask this more as a theoretical question. Openly gay single dude asks genuinely straight single dude if he would like to experiment sexually and offers no strings ...
A. 4 August 2022: This will not work out as well as your imagination conjures up.
You DO know what a straight dude is? Right?
It's a MAN who wants FEMALE sexual experiences.
That doesn't mean that a straight dude can't ever have a sexual experience with a... (read in full...)
Emotional affair has me wondering if I should walk
Q. Hi all, I have posted sometime ago concerning being married and talking to a new guy. I decided that love is a choice and I needed to forgive my husband and work on our marriage. However, when I look at my husband, I feel like I am falling out o...
A. 2 August 2022: See OP,
People give advice on the POST they read, we DO NOT know all the ins and outs of your marriage. We can not read your mind and we DO not have a crystal ball.
YOU left out a MAJOR (or actually many MAJOR) parts, such as your husband's s... (read in full...)
Just a rant
Q. I just want to rant here. I get pissed off when I see post about feminist or whatever a man can do a woman can do better.I feel for men who are abused and feel for women who are abused too but majority of the women feel empathy more to the women.I ...
A. 1 August 2022: You are falling into the same "trap" as the people who piss you off online :)
You can't change other people.
You can't make dumb people smart. Mean people caring. Ignorant people better people, etc. THAT is reality, OP
What you CAN do is AC... (read in full...)
Do I give office intern crushing on me a chance?
Q. I am trying to decide if I should give a chance (dating or sex, or both) to the male intern in our office who has an open crush on me, who I initially turned down when he so nervously but bravely asked me out, but who keeps proving himself such a ...
A. 1 August 2022: If you do want to try to "join Team Noah" I'd say KEEP it out of the workplace but also ASK yourself - WHAT if this doesn't work out. How awkward will it be? For both of you? For your coworkers?
18 is young. While legally an adult, he is still a ... (read in full...)
Do I give office intern crushing on me a chance?
Q. I am trying to decide if I should give a chance (dating or sex, or both) to the male intern in our office who has an open crush on me, who I initially turned down when he so nervously but bravely asked me out, but who keeps proving himself such a ...
A. 1 August 2022: test
... (read in full...)
Is he emotionally unavailable?
Q. My ex husband has been threatening me very badly for a few days now and last night he said he was gonna come over. I didn't wanna stay at home and my BFF told me to come sleep over at his place. My BFF and I are very close and we do a lot of silly ...
A. 1 August 2022: Sex wasn't an "accident" it was a choice. A choice you BOTH made.
You are single, He is single - correct?
If so, then it's up to the two of you to figure out what you want and where to go. The only problem is, that you can't really go back t... (read in full...)
Is he emotionally unavailable?
Q. My ex husband has been threatening me very badly for a few days now and last night he said he was gonna come over. I didn't wanna stay at home and my BFF told me to come sleep over at his place. My BFF and I are very close and we do a lot of silly ...
A. 1 August 2022: test... (read in full...)
What time should 13 year old go to bed?
Q. Hi I live in the uk .. my stepson lives with me and his dad .. my son has just turned 13yrs old .. I just struggle to know what time bed time should be on a school night at the moment he goes at 9pm as he is a early riser say 530am/6am. And does a ...
A. 1 August 2022: I think 9 PM is fine. 10 PM for the weekends.
But if this is your stepson, TALK to your husband. He and his ex need to be the ones to make those rules.
Watching TV for 10 hours a day I'd say is WAY too much. Sounds like he needs some chore... (read in full...)
How undateable am I?
Q. A visited me at my mom's house this last weekend. I've lived at home for the last 10 years since graduating college. I work a full-time job, pay bills and repair things around the house where needed, and pay off student loan debt. I make about 35k a ...
A. 1 August 2022: Are you undatable?
I can't say.
I will tell you this though. FEW women want to date a man who lives with his mom. Usually, men who DO live with their mom have an unhealthy attachment to said, mom.
Now if you came from a culture where it'... (read in full...)
How undateable am I?
Q. A visited me at my mom's house this last weekend. I've lived at home for the last 10 years since graduating college. I work a full-time job, pay bills and repair things around the house where needed, and pay off student loan debt. I make about 35k a ...
A. 1 August 2022: test... (read in full...)
Have I romanticized him too much?
Q. Hello, I've been talking to this man from Greece for a year now. We've met online and we both like each other and planning to see each other in Christmas since he's coming to the US to see me. This man is sweet, kind and respectful, sometimes too ...
A. 1 August 2022:
I love the generalization of "European men"! As a European woman, I find that European men are far more open and honest about what they are looking for and what they are willing to invest. They can talk about feelings and are great listeners. But ... (read in full...)
Have I romanticized him too much?
Q. Hello, I've been talking to this man from Greece for a year now. We've met online and we both like each other and planning to see each other in Christmas since he's coming to the US to see me. This man is sweet, kind and respectful, sometimes too ...
A. 1 August 2022: test
... (read in full...)
I know he likes me back and there's sexual attraction but then why did he say that he's not looking for a girlfriend right now?
Q. Hi! So there's this guy I like and I know he likes me back. We can both feel the sexual attraction between us. We've been talking and texting for about 3 weeks now and we've got really close. He's not someone who texts a lot but since we've beco...
A. 30 July 2022: You need to LISTEN to what he says.
"I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now. I would love to kiss you, but it's not the smartest decision."
HE is not looking for a GFBut he enjoys talking to you and helping you.
He doesn't WANT to da... (read in full...)
Am I taking advantage of a young man's ego unfairly?
Q. I am feeling a little guilty taking advantage of a young man's ego, but he is fully aware of the situation and seems perfectly OK with what is happening. I would appreciate some independent feedback even if it is critical of some of my choices. ...
A. 30 July 2022: He is a 22-year-old little Narcissus :)
(note, NOT calling him a narcissist)
"In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter from Thespiae in Boeotia who was known for his beauty. According to Tzetzes, he rejected all romantic advances, eventu... (read in full...)
Repeat wedding
Q. I need advice to see if I’m being unreasonable. I got engaged in 2019 and was planning to marry in 2021 as I found a beautiful venue that was out of budget but my fiancé and I had planned to work extra hard to save up as we both loved the p...
A. 30 July 2022: "Am I being unreasonable?"
Not really.
But...
I think your husband is right. I also think it's a waste of time. You are already married. Even if you DID spend a lot of money and planned a "dream wedding" stuff might still ruin it and it mig... (read in full...)
Emotional affair has me wondering if I should walk
Q. Hi all, I have posted sometime ago concerning being married and talking to a new guy. I decided that love is a choice and I needed to forgive my husband and work on our marriage. However, when I look at my husband, I feel like I am falling out o...
A. 30 July 2022: "The thing is, it should've come naturally. Idk if my husband is being genuine or just manipulative to keep me."
No, it really doesn't just come "natural" to everyone.
Some people feel that the COMMITMENT shows that your husband wants to... (read in full...)
Do I quit flirting with the guy at work?
Q. So there’s this guy that I work with and I have an incurable crush on him! the problem is that I don’t know if I should keep sending flirting signs or just give it a rest. I don’t know if he’s just oblivious and clueless or if he is simply just not ...
A. 30 July 2022: Firstly, he IS a stranger (even if you work at the same company). You have NO idea if he is married, engaged, gay, or just not interested.
Secondly, this is your workplace, not a "dating club". YOU are there to work, to be professional, not to f... (read in full...)
How do I leave hm?
Q. I’m looking for some relationship advice as I’m feeling like it is deflating. We’ve been together for almost 9 years and have a 3 year old son. Things first started changing when our son was 9 months old, we found ourselves in lockdown due to ...
A. 28 July 2022: "I know I will get answers like ‘talk to him’ - but I’ve tried, so many times. "
No, talking doesn't fix this. At all.
IT IS abuse "even if he doesn't hit you". And yes your son will learn this behavior. He has already picked up a few of thos... (read in full...)
Will he toy with me?
Q. There’s this boy I like, let’s call him M. I met him through social media a year ago, and even if we live 400 km apart, I’ve managed to see him in person twice. We have talked a lot and have also sent nudes to each other. Then there is this ot...
A. 27 July 2022: Exactly this,
"You don’t accidentally have sex with someone for 5 hours."
OP, you know what's up here. M might like you but you live far away and he wants intimacy/sex on the regular and with a distance of 400 KM it's just not viable with you.... (read in full...)
Why has he not asked me to be his girlfriend?
Q. My male friend say things like you aren't going anywhere and you not like other women before he was saying the opposite he was to busy or he can't be boyfriend material because of his busy schedule now he's spending the weekends with me he has asked ...
A. 27 July 2022: I think you need to consider 2 things.
1. this is still rather "new" with the dating for you two. So maybe just try and go slow and enjoy it without putting TOO many expectations on him, just yet. But if you ARE looking for a partner, not just som... (read in full...)
How do I get him to be like when we first met
Q. I have just entered into a exclusive relationship with a guy I've been talking to on and off for about 2 years. Everything was going well until he got into a car accident and totaled his car.We have officially been together a week. He's asked to...
A. 26 July 2022: End it and walk away now.
The guy you first met was his "best foot forward act" not who he is.
Take your keys back to the car. End it with him (I would do it over the phone because he is acting really sketchy) and then DELETE and BLOCK the fi... (read in full...)
Pros and cons of marriage
Q. As anyone ever done the pros and cons of a marriage. I did with my husband many years ago, he done the same with me. He done his he said because I told him I had done mine on him. I came up with more cons then pros on my list. I was surprise...
A. 25 July 2022: I have always thought the notion of "renewing" vows is bogus.
UNLESS the vows were "broken" and you had to reaffirm the vows. As in, someone cheated or something like that.
It's like Valentine's day - another way for people to spend money.
... (read in full...)
Is this behaviour normal ?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to be in “love” with someone and start dating someone else within few days of a fight and completely giving up on their partner , saying they will try to be friends now. This guy I fell for had a fallout with me and got a ne...
A. 25 July 2022: OP, don't feel bad for thinking he might be a great guy.
You did the right thing when you saw how he behaved. You welcomed him into your life. And he played you, like he plays everyone else. Even himself.
You had known him as a friend for 3 yea... (read in full...)
Is this behaviour normal ?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to be in “love” with someone and start dating someone else within few days of a fight and completely giving up on their partner , saying they will try to be friends now. This guy I fell for had a fallout with me and got a ne...
A. 23 July 2022: OP
It's a HUGE red flag when someone calls EVERYONE else toxic or crazy.
He dates women from his friend group - that is another red flag. That is what a LAZY guy will do. He just goes after the closest and (pardon) easiest "prey". Which wo... (read in full...)
Ghosted after 3 dates and sex. want him back.
Q. I (33F) met my dream man (40M) in a dating app. He ticked all the boxes and I was smitten. We went on 3 dates and had sex twice. I never had sex before with anyone outside of an exclusive committed relationship so he was special to me. I know he is ...
A. 22 July 2022: OP
You don't know the guy. You met him on a dating app. He might have lied about EVERYTHING, so saying he "ticked all your boxes" is well, a little silly. Because no, you can't know that ANYTHING he told is true. OR you have a very short "list". ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isnt jealous at all. Is that normal?
Q. This is gonna sound strange and like I'm completely overthinking things, but my boyfriend is NOT the jealous type at all. I don't know whether or not this is a really good thing or if deep down he doesn't really care that much for our relationship. ...
A. 22 July 2022: "Is this normal? Surely nobody can be that laid back about this kind of thing?".
I think it's actually HEALTHY to not be jealous. I don't feel like it means he doesn't care.
I don't know your guy but, I would presume that HE feels secure wit... (read in full...)
Boyfriend stays with me most of the tije but says its too soon to move in. No help with bills!
Q. Ok so, this is probs going to be a strange one but here we go. So I’ve been with my boyfriend since Feb this year, met in November last year. For weeks now he has been staying at mine (I have my own place) to start with it was a few days a week but ...
A. 21 July 2022: There is a BIG difference in him "just" staying and him moving in. BIG.
For one, he would HAVE to share the costs and expenses of SHARING a place.
Secondly, he would be responsible for chores the same as you.
And 3, he isn't a "guest" any l... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always tries to throw me out when I try to communicate my feelings
Q. Every time we have an argument my boyfriend grabs all my things and throws them all over the floor and puts them in bags by the door and tells me to get out. He grabs me by the wrist and hurts my wrist trying to drag me to the door. This happens ...
A. 19 July 2022: I will echo mystiquek, THIS is abuse!
WHY do you keep dating him, keep going back?
You are like a dog whose owner kicks him thinking "this must be love"!
No, it's not! It's ABUSE!
"He makes me feel like trash."
Because he is TREATIN... (read in full...)
How do I end sexual affair with boss who wants more?
Q. I have created a really messed up situation with my regional sales manager at work. We both did wrong but now I am stuck and not sure how to untangle it all without damaging my future. Even though I resent some things that have happened I am also ...
A. 19 July 2022: Well, didn't you just screw the pooch?!
My advice is this, LOOK for a new job or position where you do NOT work directly with her.
Sure you could take it to HR, and I WOULD, IF she keeps "blackmailing" you for sex.
Her threat of taking ... (read in full...)
Married unhappy and falling for another man
Q. Looking for advice Hi I am a married woman with two grown up children. My husband and I have been under pressure with various things going on I suspected he fancied other women at times which he didn't deny. We do try and work at out marriage.I a...
A. 18 July 2022: What people always seem to forget is that anyone (yes, ANYONE) who is willing to cheat on a spouse has NO respect for their spouse, little respect for themselves and other people.
No one is "HAPPY" 24/7, whether married or single. It's just not... (read in full...)
No sex in 5 years
Q. My wife and i havent had sex in five years, i would like to try and get her excited enough to have a go, how should i approche the issue and will it hurt her after so long, iam willing to try anything....
A. 18 July 2022: Well, first off, do you know WHY you aren't having sex anymore? And why it's been 5 years?
What happened 5 years ago?
Maybe that is a starting point.
Also, why would it hurt HER to tell her you miss intimacy with her?... (read in full...)
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