Friend keeps going after the same men as me constantly!
Q. I have this "friend" and we have been quite close for 2 years now. It seems as though every time I start dating someone, or if I fancy a man, my friend has to either try to sabotage it by telling him bad things about me, or will try to seduce hi...
A. 21 May 2022: Well, It is ALSO the guy's fault if he engages with her in kind, as in if she sends "pictures" and he praises said pictures or send her some back. She can't MAKE them give her a response, that is the GUY's choice to do or not do.
But someone ... (read in full...)
My fiance has been leading a double life. He is gay and has a boyfriend
Q. Hi there. Wall of text, but I'll keep it to the relevant points. I've been with my fiance since 2014, but only engaged since 2018. COVID delayed our wedding and we've not had it yet. I met my fiance at a party in early 2014, he told me he was...
A. 20 May 2022: Ah, our fantasy writer is back...... (read in full...)
Why would my boss do this?
Q. Hello there. I am an Indian who is on a Green Card in the U.S., been here since mid-2013. Not yet a citizen though. I have a husband and a 6-year-old daughter. My daughter was born here, but me and my husband weren't, we're still Indian citi...
A. 20 May 2022: You don't want to both work and rent from the same person, that seems out of line to me. If you lose your job, you would lose your home too.
I would tell him that you value to offer but that you already have a place to live that work for your fam... (read in full...)
My daughter is being bullied. How can I help her?
Q. My daughter is 16 and in high school; he's told me how he's been unhappy the past few weeks. She said she was unhappy because a girl in the year below told her: "You will get me that $750 drum I saw on eBay, you can afford it, you're the rich ...
A. 20 May 2022: If the girl (bully) was dumb enough to send the message demanding money "even sent messages via school email" then take it to the principal, and if there is no action taken, you take it to the police.... (read in full...)
Husband has invited friend to stay with us and I am uncomfortable with it
Q. I need advice on how to approche this situation. May husband has almost no friends. He moved a lot when he was a kid and it was difficult for him to make any connections. His also a bit socially anxious the way sole men can be. His ego gets bru...
A. 19 May 2022: He is coming to stay for YOUR anniversary? WTF!? Why?
Sorry, that sounds harsh. Taking a deep breath here lol.
Ok, here is what I would do.
I would sit your husband down and tell him this. IF Mike comes for a week, YOU will be staying else... (read in full...)
Is she just not interested now?
Q. So I have recently started seeing a girl at my work placement. I've known her for less than a year, and we started seeing each other about 6 weeks ago. She is great, and I really like her. We have quite a bit in common, and we seem to get on really ...
A. 19 May 2022: Back off completely.
If you see her at work give her a nod or a hello and go about your business.
She isn't interested.
If she was she would keep the conversations going after work and wanting to see you and speak to you. Seems like she i... (read in full...)
Awkward encounter with friend’s boyfriend- do I tell her?
Q. I need to know whether to tell my friend about the encounter I had with her boyfriend…. My friend has been going out with this guy for 4 years. I’m not too keen on him, there’s something about him that’s doesn’t sit right with me - but I never me...
A. 19 May 2022: Wait until you get the other 10 Pounds, then tell her or you will NEVER see that money.
Wanna BET that the 10 Pound he gave you, HE got from her? So she is essentially BUYING her own birthday present.
What a loser BF!!
And once you get that... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to what a friend said?
Q. Im sure I'll regret writing in here, seen as, in my current emotionally charged state, people have the ability to cut me to pieces with a few words.. But here goes... We are nearing winter here and I plan to put my elderly dog to sleep before t...
A. 16 May 2022: I think you need to do what feels right for you, but don't let the weather determine the timing. You can't PLAN around the weather.
She won't care if the weather isn't nice. She won't care about her burial. She will care that YOU are there an... (read in full...)
The neighbors can hear my boyfriend and I have sex and complain about it! What can we do?
Q. So this might sound like a funny question but when my boyfriend and I have sex the neighbors always hear us! We live in a building with very THIN walls! I find I (we) cannot seem to get all the enjoyment I (we) want from sex because I (we) are ...
A. 16 May 2022: Just tone it down.
You can definitely still enjoy yourself without having to be loud. Being loud doesn't equate to being passionate.
Just try it. Do a "test-run" where you go at but with the "volume down".
Also, Is there another room that ... (read in full...)
Does it ever get better?
Q. Hi everyone... So I posted on DC some time back... This was my original post: __________________ Hi there.... so i've been married for over 7 years and I must say I love my husband very much. We've had our ups and downs but we've got ...
A. 16 May 2022: OP, I know it sucks but you can't MAKE someone love you, you can't MAKE someone want to BE with you. And your husband? Doesn't want to be with you. I don't think he has wanted to, for a long time. He just didn't do anything about it, he rather make ... (read in full...)
Not sure what happened
Q. I’ve been in a relationship for the past 3 month. I met him through work. We spent two days together and when we returned from work, he was constantly messaging and wanting to meet up. I was a bit dubious at first, thinking it was just a work thing. ...
A. 16 May 2022: I think your best bet is to end this.
He sounds insecure and a bit controlling. Why would you need to tell him who you are with, where you are at and when you will be home? You are a GROWN woman. You should be able to go out with friends for a dr... (read in full...)
Upstairs neighbor is creeping me out. Do you think I should be concerned?
Q. There is this guy who lives in my building. He has knocked on my door several times with different excuses. Every time I see him in the lobby or at the mailbox, he always initiates conversations. I will be polite and say hi and engage in a little ...
A. 16 May 2022: "maybe I am being ultra sensitive but isn't it strange for him to ask to come in?"
Yeah, that is weird.
"There was no way I was going to allow him inside my apartment."
GOOD. Don't. EVER. Do. THAT.
My advice STOP talking to him. If y... (read in full...)
How long should we wait?
Q. Hi, got a conundrum. My BD and I have been separated since before our kids were born. 4 years later we are chill coparents, our families are still close. A friend of his has caught my eye. I didn't see him often but he just had such a kind and loyal ...
A. 15 May 2022: That is really up to you.
Since he is a friend of your ex, I would probably give a good 3-6 months. Yes, that seems long but getting to know someone takes time, and figuring out if this is a person that is a potential long-term partner takes ti... (read in full...)
Friend keeps going after the same men as me constantly!
Q. I have this "friend" and we have been quite close for 2 years now. It seems as though every time I start dating someone, or if I fancy a man, my friend has to either try to sabotage it by telling him bad things about me, or will try to seduce hi...
A. 14 May 2022: You call that a friend?!!
"I don't understand why she has to sabotage me when I have a decent man in my life."
OP, she isn't your friend. Pretending to be supportive is not what a friend does. Nor do a friend go after men you are getting to k... (read in full...)
I'm I in a narcissistic relationship
Q. I'm I in a narcissistic relationship? Sorry this is long. I have been in a relationship for 3 years, my partner is 20 years older than me but with that I thought at the start wee had lots in common, wee do other factors are becoming exhausting....
A. 13 May 2022: We can't diagnose him, OP
We can only speculate.
You write "My partner has been physical and verbal with me when drinking. "
That should be a dealbreaker OP. TOTAL dealbreaker. Someone who will be physical and verbal with you (while d... (read in full...)
Watching my boyfriend spiral out of control
Q. I am a 34 year old and my bf is 24.i love him dearly we live together and have a lot of hobbies and interests in common as well as values. When we met he was working but left the job soon after as it wasn't what he wanted. He can spiral into ...
A. 13 May 2022: I think you both need to deal with whatever mental health issues you think you have - neither of you can really self-diagnose here (and we on DC can't either).
I think YOU both should seek help here and WORK on the issues you both feel are hold... (read in full...)
Have been offered sex but feel guilty about the circumstances.
Q. An older girl I am very attracted to has told me she is going to have sex with me and end my virginity for me but I am feeling weird because she is not doing it because she likes me that way but as a reward for a good deed. I want to have sex with ...
A. 13 May 2022: If you feel guilty about accepting, then don't accept.
She doesn't OWE you sex, and you don't OWE her sex either.
I'd suggest you TAKE the time to get to know the girl you hope to ONE DAY, have your first experience with.
Sex isn't like ... (read in full...)
My dad doesn't seem proud of me
Q. My question is about my relationship with my dad. I love him and I know he loves me deep down, but it kills me how he just sucks at communicating. I try very hard to make my parents happy. My mom lets me know how much she appreciates me a...
A. 13 May 2022: Your dad SHOWS you that he is proud, he just doesn't SAY it.
Does that make sense?
Yes, it would be nice if he would open his mouth and tell you, but I don't think that is in his nature or his personality. And I think some of it is "societal ... (read in full...)
Why do gay dudes fake out straight guys online?
Q. I am consistently getting faked out online by gay guys posing as females with female pics and profiles. I would guess more than 70 percent of the people who private message me are men posing as women to flirt with me. I am a straight guy and this ...
A. 12 May 2022: Well, consider ALL the lesbian women out there getting hounded by men thinking that one try with a penis will make the woman straight... I read an article about one of the hook-up apps that was made for and meant for gay men and women - however, the ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to read my friend and its confusing me
Q. I am a gay female who is completely confused about what's going on with a straight female friend. We met a few months ago and she immediately took to me. Asked for my number and we texted and talked a lot. She initiated the flirting and it ...
A. 12 May 2022: Why were you pursuing a straight woman in the first place?
It makes no sense!
You would like her to be a romantic option for you but IF SHE is straight you are NOT. You might be a way to test out curiosity or fantasy, nothing more.
She fe... (read in full...)
Friend ended engagement and his ex wont move out
Q. My best friend told me last night he ended his engagement due to a concern he had. He's 27, and engaged to a 54-year-old woman. She's got no kids, no grandkids. They've been together for 3 years now, I think they met in summer 2019. He said ...
A. 12 May 2022: "Is he becoming more wise to see this as him being possibly manipulated?"
Probably not.
However, that is on him.
Nightmares or not, unless he actually DO something (legally) to get her to move out, she isn't going to.
The Landlord (aka... (read in full...)
My husband of 3 years think we should live separate houses.
Q. Dear cupid My husband of 3 years think we should live separate houses. Long story short, he is not into marriage. We got married 3 years ago because I was about to leave for my country(came here for studies) and since he wanted to be with me, we m...
A. 11 May 2022: Just end it and move on.
Why would you try and be with someone if he obviously doesn't want to be with you?
Doesn't sound like he adds much positivity to your life.
Decide if you want to live here as a SINGLE divorcee or move back ho... (read in full...)
Husband admitted he a fwb relationship the whole time we were dating
Q. Note: I have changed a name in this in the interests of privacy. I am a newlywed who's only been married for 5 weeks, next week is the 6th week of our marriage. We had a nice wedding, small, intimate, and the proposal beforehand was romantic...
A. 11 May 2022: "You know you said we can talk about anything together, well, I've got something important to tell you.""
He should have told you this BEFORE getting engaged or married.
What a bag of dicks!
You can probably get an annulment instead of a d... (read in full...)
Friend behaving oddly & avoiding me.
Q. I’m at a complete loss as my situation and wondering if this has happened to anyone else? 6 years ago I moved from my home town to a town 4 hours away for my job. I still kept in touch with all my friends and family members. I ha...
A. 11 May 2022: I think she feels the friendship has run its course but she hasn't had the nerve to tell you.
I would just leave her be. You can't MAKE people want to stay friends no matter how much history you have.
Maybe just give her some space, and see i... (read in full...)
I can't live with his dogs. Should we break up?
Q. Hi all, I have been with my partner for 2 years..we are both 39 and love each other a lot. We do not live together because he has 2 large dogs. I have a four year old son from a previous relationship. His dogs are not aggressive but im terrified to ...
A. 11 May 2022: Sorry, OP he has had these dogs for 9 years and dated you for two, if I was in his shoes, YOU would be the one to go.
Who is going to shut up two dogs in a room?! Would you shut your kid up in a room? My guess is no.
While I get that you don... (read in full...)
Friend ended engagement and his ex wont move out
Q. My best friend told me last night he ended his engagement due to a concern he had. He's 27, and engaged to a 54-year-old woman. She's got no kids, no grandkids. They've been together for 3 years now, I think they met in summer 2019. He said ...
A. 11 May 2022:
Since you are in the UK, I'd suggest he contact Citizen's Advice for the correct legal procedure. Or find a solicitor.
I'm not totally sure about how they handle it in the UK.
If they rent and BOTH names are on the rental agreement, he might ... (read in full...)
My son just admitted to me that he likes having sex with male prostitutes/male escorts and is cheating on his fiancee and young son with them.
Q. I had an unexpected phone call from my son, 28 at 3am yesterday morning. He told me how, since lockdown restrictions ended in February, he'd been going and having sex with male prostitutes/male escorts and cheating on his fiancee and young son wi...
A. 9 May 2022: "Me and my husband don't know what the right thing to do in this situation is; drive to confront our son or have him come to us?"
Well no, HE is a fully adult human being. You "confronting" him isn't going to change what he is feeling or doing. H... (read in full...)
Is he lying about the Instagram account?
Q. Hello, I've been dating this man (25) for a couple of months now, however, he tells me that he doesn't use social media a lot and doesn't use Instagram at all. He sent me a few days ago a screenshot of an Instagram account (a travel account he ...
A. 9 May 2022: No, not everyone has social media. Some people like their privacy and don't feel a need to yell into the void about the Latte they had for breakfast or the new shoes they bought. Because no one really cares.
So no, he might NOT have an Instagra... (read in full...)
The house goes to his ex if he dies
Q. Hello Just looking for some advise if possible So my partner and have been together around a year We moved in together around 2 months ago, it’s his house which he holds a mortgage on When he asked me to move in with him he offered to p...
A. 9 May 2022: The ex-wife might also have helped with a downpayment, cosigned the loan etc. so SHE is the reason he was able to BUY the house in the first place. Which means she might be part-owner. Maybe he didn't buy her out when they split, with the proviso ... (read in full...)
She suffers from past trauma, and I get attacked.
Q. I have a girlfriend who has suffered a life time of trauma. 1st from her mother then the next two relashionships. This trauma ranges from hospitalizing abuse to flat out abandoment far from home. She dosent really stand up for herself as w...
A. 8 May 2022: OP, she sounds like she needs a lot of help that YOU CAN NOT give her.
You are not a psychiatrist or therapist and that is what she needs.
However, I can't fault someone for bringing backup JUST IN CASE, to feel safe. If all she has known ar... (read in full...)
My husband complains about our 'hum drum' life
Q. Hi guys. I'm a newlywed, been married for eight weeks now, my wedding was a small but intimate one with 20 guests. The issue here is my new husband. I really love him, but he's possibly changing or changed in a way that he's questioning the ma...
A. 8 May 2022: Tell him to move out. And when he does, you and he are over.
The whole POINT of a long-term relationship is not "fun", it's to support each other, invest in each other, spend time together, building a future.
Sounds like he wants to be sort... (read in full...)
Husband inviting friend over while I am gone
Q. I'm a businesswoman who normally has to travel, but during the pandemic I wasn't able to. It's good to be back on it again. And that's where my problem comes in. I'm currently in Connecticut but my husband and kids are in LA. I said to my husb...
A. 7 May 2022: Another troll post.
Same for this
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/former-co-worker-could-be-a-problem.html
Troll, do better.... (read in full...)
Husband cheating and I am questioning my whole life
Q. Hello. Not sure how to deal with this, it's a toughie for me and life's threw me a curveball. I really thought me and my husband had a good marriage until I discovered something on the Facebook and Instagram pages of the dance school that our daug...
A. 7 May 2022: Don't tell hubby you are getting a lawyer. Talk to a few EXPENSIVE ones too. That way HE can't hire them. If you had a consult with them. ;)
... (read in full...)
I don't want to go back to how things were
Q. Hi there.... so i've been married for over 7 years and I must say I love my husband very much. We've had our ups and downs but we've got through it all. I've noticed however, that since recently he seems to be getting more annoyed with me all the ...
A. 7 May 2022: What I don't get about your post is this..
You start out saying:
" I must say I love my husband very much. "
But you end your post with:
"What can i do... am i bad for not having any feelings any more for him?" and " However, I feel like... (read in full...)
Am I losing that guy?
Q. I need to know if I am losing that guy. We have both made moves - indirect non verbal to express what we feel towards each other- an attraction. I am pretty sure he had something for me since we saw each other but I did not want to take any of this ...
A. 6 May 2022: OP, be more professional.
THAT is my advice.
You can not CONDUCT anything (romantically or otherwise) "indirect nonverbal " to express ANYTHING. Sure, someone can eye another person "lustfully" or with "keen interest" in a romance novel bu... (read in full...)
Husband cheating and I am questioning my whole life
Q. Hello. Not sure how to deal with this, it's a toughie for me and life's threw me a curveball. I really thought me and my husband had a good marriage until I discovered something on the Facebook and Instagram pages of the dance school that our daug...
A. 6 May 2022: "Illinois is a "no-fault" divorce state. The days of having to prove adultery, abuse, or habitual drunkenness are gone. You can get divorced in a day; there is no waiting period. If your spouse objects, you must wait six months and prove the other ... (read in full...)
Is he rushing things or am I over reacting?
Q. Hello, I've met a man online about 1 year ago however things have been a bit more serious the last couple of months. He's very nice and respectful and we constantly video chat to create more intimacy. He seems interested in taking things to the n...
A. 1 May 2022: I have to agree, You are not overreacting at all.
While you have talked and video-called for a year, you haven't met in person. You might not FEEL the same way about him IN person as you do when talking over tech. He might not smell good, have goo... (read in full...)
Should we wait?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. Since a few days, we've been talking about having sex. We really want to do it, but I don't know how to have sex and I'm also scared of getting pregnant. My friends say different things – some say ...
A. 30 April 2022: Getting pregnant should be a concern as it is HIGHLY possible if you are having sex.
So what to do?
Well, there is birth control. Be it a non-hormonal IUD, low hormone pill, implant for you, and ALWAYS condoms for him. PREFERABLY both.... (read in full...)
DUI dealbreaker?
Q. Dear Aunts, Anyone ever deal with a S.O. getting a DUI? Is it a deal breaker? Its not rubbing me the right way. Actually I wasn't even dating her but she just got it. Now a week later she confessed she had feelings for me. I know shes going throu...
A. 30 April 2022: For me, it would be but then again I have quite a few dealbreakers.
She is "too old" to not know better. And "too old" to not DO better. Apparently, though, she isn't smart enough to make better choices...
I think it's absolutely OK to... (read in full...)
Why is the spa tech flirting with me?
Q. I am 26M and my 30F girlfriend strongly prefers me to have a completely smooth upper body. I find that I kind of like it and it makes me feel like a fitness model wannabe. I definitely like my girlfriend’s reaction. It is a win - win. To keep me ...
A. 30 April 2022: LMAO Peter!
She is 100% trying to upsell you! But if you are a good looking guy who takes REAL good care of your body, I can't fault her for trying. I mean if she could PICK which client to see why wouldn't she pick a young hunk instead of leeri... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I broke up due to long distance. Did I dodge a bullet?
Q. My boyfriend (now ex) and I have been a couple for a couple of months, and have been dating for like a year and a half. (In person, I didn’t meet him online, I met him at uni) He went to an exchange program in February, and he isn’t returning ...
A. 30 April 2022: First off, I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandfather.
*hugs*
"Do you think I was the reason he pulled away or it was because of the exchange program?"
I think, he wasn't looking for anything serious at all. You were in the relationship 100... (read in full...)
Am I being hypocritical about seeing married men?
Q. This is a question about the past... I'm just trying to understand if we're "born smart" or do we live and learn... I know I have learnt from my mistake. And if it is ok to forgive oneself at some point… When I was 19 years old I fell in love wit...
A. 28 April 2022: "I also ponder over the question if I'm being a hypocrite if I say that I think that having an affair with a married person is wrong. "
Good question, OP!
Are you being a hypocrite? Yes, but at least you are a hypocrite speaking from ex... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I broke up due to long distance. Did I dodge a bullet?
Q. My boyfriend (now ex) and I have been a couple for a couple of months, and have been dating for like a year and a half. (In person, I didn’t meet him online, I met him at uni) He went to an exchange program in February, and he isn’t returning ...
A. 27 April 2022: I think you two didn't communicate very well at all. It wasn't a problem when you got to see each other often, but after he left?
I DO think he meant to break up with you, but thought it would hurt you "Less" if he called it a break, plus tha... (read in full...)
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