A
male
age
30-35,
Phsyciatrist-to-be
writes:Guys, how old were you when you first entered a relationship? 11? 12? I know one guy who went out with a girl at the age of 7 years old. It tends to vary, of course, but it's normally around 10-13 these days.Perhaps some of you decided to wait longer; to restrict yourself to the people you loved the most, and that you knew you could trust with anything.I am 15. I have never had a girlfriend: and I didnt choose to wait.Those of you who waited, or have been in 10 million relationships before, are probably thinking "So? The right person will surely come along soon." Well, that's what my friends tell me. And my parents. But what they dont realise is, whilst I greatly appericiate the advice and support they give, it does very little to change my situation.Perhaps it is because I am shy. I dont tend to go up to girls I think are fit and ask them out. "Well, that's his promblem! What an idiot!" you're all saying. "He should be braver! Or more patient!" Well, fine. Maybe I should. But that fact it, I'm not a very brave person: people dont respect me like they respect other people. Plus, I reckon I HAVE been patient os far. I'm no bad-looking, or so I'm told. I'm not a horrible person. People just aren't like me, and girls look upon me as a friend, nothing more.Perhaps they dont like me because I'm "square." Anyone unfamiliar with this term should know it means "geek/nerd/etc." Well, fine. I'm smart. So what??? Isn't that a good thing? In all the stories, in all the films, the girl always describes her perfect guy and "Smart, funny, nice to be with, loves me like I love him" and so on. I'm smart! I'm have a sense of humour! I have friends, so I must be at least OK to be with. And I wouldnt date someone I dont like. So what's wrong? Why do I still get this empty feeling: like somethings missing? Why has no-one, to my knowladge, even looked at me as though they might consider asking me out?By now, some of you may be thinking: "What a crybaby." Fine. Whatever. Think what you like. But if you are thinking that, you obviously have absolutely no idea how I feel about this. It hurts. I can only ever remember asking 1 girl out seriously, and, as testomony to my hoplessness, she was already dating someone! But then, what really stung, was she didnt even seem to remember that I'd asked her at all, before she started her next relationship! I still love her.But I'm becoming so demoralised by this whole situation, I'm doubting myself more and more. Everytime I see two people together, holding hands, laughing with each other... thoughts buzz round my head: "I'll never be in that position. I'll never get a partner. I'll always be by myself." It all sounds pathetic, and afterwards I hate myself for thinking it. But there's always some part of me that wonders: am I right? Will I always remain alone?People say "Losing the one you love is worse than never loving at all." Well, I say balls to that. Everyone who's said that to me has loved someone and been in a relationship: they have no idea what it's like in my position! True, I dont really know what it's like to lose the one you love the most, and it's not hard to guess that it can be heartbreaking. But for now, I'm not sure I'll get that far.I dont know whether you liked this article, thought it was weird, still think I'm a pathetic crybaby or just lost interest a the beggining and skipped to the end. But if you ever meet someone in this position, just remember what I said on this page. Yeah, to you it might sound pathetic, but if it does, then you dont understand how hard it really is. And if you're in this situation right now: hang in there! You're not the only one!!!
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Actually, I was in the same situation.
I remember looking at girls being with guys holding hands and kissing. I was just an observant, being wondered at this trend, then realizing I wasn't part of it. I actually never wanted to be part of it, but I did want to know what made this girls be part of this.
Not many guys have asked me out in my life. I could never figure out the reason until a few years ago. At that age (10-16) I was shy, studious, quiet. Actually, I am still like that until I get to know the person. Then they see I'm bubbly, happy, smart and quiet funny. I never understood why I was always excluded from the "dating scene" even after having good qualities. This lowered my self esteem for a while and made me feel like I was physically ugly for a time.
I never felt jealous of those girls nor I ever felt really miserable for not having a guy in my life. I always thought "he will come in the right time", a thing that doesn't mean that "I waited", but that I just let fate do its work. Probably the only thing that i told myself to wait for was to give up my virginity, whom I said would belong to the person I loved. Fate eventually did use it's magic. The way I met my boyfriend was just magical, actually more accidental than anything, but the way I felt for him I had never felt for anyone before. I was indeed lucky because he felt the same way and had the same ideals that I did.
I never lost hope. You could call what happened to me as waiting if you want because I did wait for my love. I waited almost 17 years for him and I'm grateful for it.
Hope is the last thing a human does, and this is what it seems to be the case for you. You have to remember that you're still young and you should not feel any rush into getting into a relationship, even when society makes that silly pressure that if you're single or that if you haven't had sex, it means you're an ugly, worthless thing, when it's most likely the opposite. You know that you're a great guy, so like many people said, wait for that person that will see that in you. And remember to give fate a helping hand. Be polite and social with people or else they'll never get a chance to talk to you. You can't win the lottery if you haven't bought a ticket, right? It's he same concept here.
Don't give up... and keep moving forward.
A
female
reader, pinay23 +, writes (5 July 2008):
 sry i ment day not gay. . ahh
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A
female
reader, pinay23 +, writes (5 July 2008):
hey. you really sound a nice guy. If you like the girl try to be a close friend first =] If i was you thats my 1st thing i would do so. Just look for a girl thats similar and some diffrent things. For sure one gay you'll find that girl. I promise.-Katelyn I.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): I never decided to wait, but I had my first relationship when I was 16. It's not unusual Hunny.
Now I am 20 and I have been in a loving and serious relationship for nearly two years. Even though I have officially had a few boyfriends before, I consider this my first real relationship. One that truely means something to me.
As you say "Hang in there. You're not the only one". And one day, you shall meet the perfect lady for you.
Good Luck. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): darling i feel for you i honestly do ! people will say the right girl comes along but sometimes they dont ! but you shuould try concentrateing with your girl freinds and mabey talk to one of them they might be able to hook you up or somthing !
i hope u get were im coming from ?!
good luck !
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