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Younger man vs. older man, what shall I do?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 June 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been dating a man 10 years younger than me. Now a man that is 40, 5 years older than me wants to date me. He is a very reputable and kind person but cannot offer me much, as he is getting out of a divorce now and is very hurt by it.

The younger guy gives me time and attention and wants to be with me as much as he can, they both live an hour away.

What should i do? I like the younger one, the sex is good and we get along great. However the older one is more mature and tender.

View related questions: divorce, older man

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A female reader, Tina-H Mexico +, writes (19 June 2008):

My male friend is 7 years younger than me. He is divorcing his wife who is the same as my age....

I did not involved in him, but somehow we became special relationship.... as man and woman...

I was resisting to be a special relationship, but he said that he was the one to decide if he wanted to be a special friend with me or not. He kept saying I was really nice and beautiful.... and attractive...

However, he became cool after we have had a relationship.

Now, he is saying we are good friends.

Man is always selfish.

They usually think thier Sex first....

Should not believe much.

If he likes you very much, he does not force you to be a situation like you are facing....

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A female reader, Tina-H Mexico +, writes (19 June 2008):

My male friend is 7 years younger than me. He is divorcing his wife who is the same as my age....

I did not involved in him, but somehow we became special relationship.... as man and woman...

I was resisting to be a special relationship, but he said that he was the one to decide if he wanted to be a special friend with me or not. He kept saying I was really nice and beautiful.... and attractive...

However, he became cool after we have had a relationship.

Now, he is saying we are good friends.

Man is always selfish.

They usually think thier Sex first....

Should not believe much.

If he likes you very much, he does not force you to be a situation like you are facing....

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (19 June 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi,

Sorry but I'm not so sympathetic to your plight.

If you already are dating a man, why on earth are you still looking around? If I was the younger man, I would insist you go with the older bloke as you obviously cannot commit to a one on one relationship.

Sorry for being rude, but that's the way I see it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

Definately don't date the older man that is just getting out of a divorce! He has some healing to do and should spend some time alone to work through the hard feelings. If you date him, you will pay for every wrong his wife ever did...sorry, but that is just how it works. There is not a person out there that is capable of getting into a new relationship when freshly divorced without bringing with them a lot of baggage.

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A male reader, wildman United States +, writes (19 June 2008):

wildman agony auntSounds like you are going shopping at the store. I think you should stay with the one you are dating now. The older one may go sour and leave you with no one since he is just out of a relationship. take care

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A male reader, Jack White United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2008):

It sounds like you are not totally happy with either. The younger guy can't be satisfying you on all emotional levels or you wouldn't be considering the older guy. You admit the older guy isn't a perfect 10 either. Figure out why you would even consider the older guy - is there something you aren't getting out of younger?

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2008):

lexilou agony auntI dont think you can judge just by age. I dated older guys all my life, anything from 4 to 10 years older but rarely guys my own age and certainly never younger as I felt they were immature and couldnt really give me what I wanted. My hubbie is 3 and a bit years younger than me but I was attracted to him as I fancied him but also thought he was around 42-44 to my 36. He was 32 bless him but seemed to ooze the confidence you (sometimes) get from an older guy.

So you have to decide on more than age. You have the old argument that a younger guy may leave you as you age, but you have that problem with any guy and if you love each other enough I dont think age matters. The older guy sounds like he might have a lot of emotional baggage but I dont think you can dismiss him just for this.

only you can decide on this one, you have to weigh up all the pros and cons for both guys not just the matureness or age. If the younger guy relationship is working dont throw it away for the older one just because you think he will be more mature. Good luck! x

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