A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. He has 3 adult, married kids and I have none. In fact, I have very few surviving relatives and most of those I don't see too often. On July 4, my niece (who I see a few times per year but talk to on the phone often) invited my husband and myself as well as all my husband's children and grandchildren to her house for bbq and fireworks. All of us attended. My niece was very gracious and had prepared a ton of food. Her husband, who is hardly Mr. Personality made a rather brusk comment to my step son (age 26) who broke wind in front of several of the guests. I know... he still acts very juvenile but that is a whole different topic. My step son didn't act offended by my niece's husband's comment but his wife was infuriated. Instead of saying anything to the one who made the comment, she was rude to my niece and basically slammed me and my whole family. She told my niece (who was the one who provided all the food and fireworks) that they should have gone to her mother in law's family's home (this would be my husband's ex wife's family) where they were welcome. She pointed out that at least they "were family and related by blood". I am so embarrassed, hurt and furious. I have bent over backwards to be kind and good to my step children, their spouses and their kids. How could she slam my family (and if you slam my family, you slam me)? How do I treat her from now on when she's in our home? I know she's my husband's daughter in law but I won't be run over rough shod nor should my family be mistreated. Constructive suggestions, please!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): In these kinds of relationship, it is normal. i advise not to break your head on these issues and create problems in your this marriage also.
A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Your stepson's wife is rude. As you pointed out, she didn't tackle the person who offended her but made the occasion unpleasant for everyone. This is passive-aggressive behaviour. If she does it in your house, confront her. Try to do this nicely and in private.Don't take offence on other's peoples behalf. They are adult and capable of looking after themselves.An in-law isn't related by blood, except to their family of origin. We bring new people into our families all the time, by marrying them for example!
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