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anonymous
writes: I have just gotten out of high school and now I am feeling left behind and depressed. My boyfriend is a sophomore and ever since November I have been getting mad at him for stupid reasons. Now, it happens every time I am with him. I wish I knew how to change my attitude and get my old self back. He has not done anything wrong.I just think that I am insecure and worried because I will not be with him next year. I need help! otherwise, I am going to lose this great guy. Help me with my anger!!! thanks!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (9 June 2005):
 Now that you're out of school... as you're discovering.... the real work begins, and you're understandably anxious about what you do next. This is a nerve-wracking time for most graduates, as they decide what the next big step in their lives is going to be. You're probably snapping at him because you feel pressured.Feeling that way is OK, but you're transferring your irritability about this new situation to your innocent boyfriend, and that's not OK.Recognise what's triggering your snappishness. Does it happen when you do certain things (job hunt, for example)? Do you get agitated at certain times of day or when he says certain things that you regard as ignorant of the facts?Find out why you're acting this way and you're halfway toward fixing it. You can also "empower" (to use a little business-speak) your boyfriend to gently point out when you're treating him unfairly, so you can learn to catch yourself at it. Give him a keyword he can whisper to you when you blame him for something, something that will snap you out of your phase, like "gesundheit".If you're determined to fix this, you'll succeed.
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (9 June 2005):
 Maybe you are snappy because you have experienced a huge milestone in your life, you finished high school. And you are subconciously angry at your boyfriend because he's still in high school with all those girls who are his own age. You are unfairly holding him responsible for your insecurities. If you can't trust him, you probably should let him go. If you can't hold back your bitchy comments and get over your insecurities, you'll only push him away. Your anger stems from your insecurities. Ask him to reassure you of his faithfulness and believe him.
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