A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Would you pay? I went on a trip with someone who I knew from work for quite a bit, but can't call her a friend.We bought air fare separately but hotel she booked. We had different flights and I arrived later to find out that hotel now costs twice more, because she mixed up dates, and for those dates originally price was twice less. Ok, I don't argue with that, weekends are always more, no probem, of course I will share the cost.But when it was time for me to pay her back she said its an additional 20% on top of that higher price, because they charged her for cancelling first reservation. Now, I said, it was actually your mistake, you mixed up dates, why are you making me pay for your mistake.mi already paid twice more money that I didn't budget for, and now because you made a mistake I need to cover that also?Now she makes me a cheap one, telling me that we are in this trip together, and whatever happens , happens to both of us. What kind of logic is it? Am I crazy or her? It would never even occur to me to charge someone else's for my mistake. I understand that people make mistakes, but then they suffer consequences alone, but not inviting a company for that. Well, I refused to give her money for that, thinking that I m not doing anything wrong. When I told the story to friends, opinions were different. I heard quite a bit of , o, it was only this and that sum, it was not a big deal, why didn't you just paid it. I really don't understand how anyone can even think that. What if I bought her air tickets and made a mistake, and put a wrong date, and then by changing it I had to pay fine. It would never even occurred to me to even mention it t her. She would have nothing to do with it, it would be mine unfortunate mistake. Unless she insisted of covering part of it, I would definitely pay for it . What's your opinion? Thanks in advance.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (22 February 2013):
 There are those that think an additional 20% is not a big deal; others may think it’s a matter for her to take responsibility for her mistake – error, and or a matter of etiquette!?Given that you are not blaming her entirely; as you forked out the extra expense for the week-end; it seems to be a matter of who is responsible for the additional cancellation fees. Here you had no part in this unfortunate error; hence it solely belongs to her, period!Although, as far as ‘friends’ go it all of a sudden becomes a grey area? Prior to taking this holiday you could not call her your friend, but someone you knew from work for quite a bit… Therefore we have a difference of opinions and principles from others and your friends.To me you seem to be a woman of principle and responsibility in relation to this matter. You accepted the extra expense due to this occurrence and expressed your boundaries as far the cancellation fees go. As for; …whatever happens; happens to both of us. Sorry, but that does not compute! Whilst one can show and give compassion; you don’t get drawn into a guilt trip.Take CareCAA
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (22 February 2013):
 I don't think you should pay her any of the cancelation fee. She pays for her own mistakes.
But I'm saying this based on the info you've provided: that she's not that great a friend and you don't really care if she's offended.
If this happened with my best mate I would probably pay the half of the cancellation fee just to keep things smooth - not that my best mate would even ask me to if it was entirely her mistake.
I suppose this is the problem with letting someone you don't know that well organise things when money is concerned. I'm going away soon with a close friend and we sat down and booked everything together, knew exactly what the costs were and she paid. I did a bank transfer to her an hour later. Hopefully no nasty surprises in store!
I don't think either of you are crazy. She doesn't want to be short of money but she should accept the consequences of her own disorganised behaviour. You're not crazy because you owe her nothing, legally or ethically.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): Thank you all for answering. Well, at least i had one person who agreed with me. Imheretohelpyou, even if i doubled checked, it would be too late anyway, after she clicked that button when she reserved,it wouldn't matter if I noticed mistake after the fact, fees would occur anyway.That's what I was taught by my parents to be responsible for my actions and mistakes,that's why this situation with this woman seems unreal to me.With spilled coffee, yes, I would still pay,of course, its nothing even to talk about, but if I was on another end, and I spilled someone's coffee, I would never take the money. I really don't want to keep peace with her. She was not very nice on this trip with me, and I couldn't care less about her. That's not the reason why I don't want to play along though with cancellation charges:). I just mentioned it, because i really don't care what she thinks of me, as it was my first and last trip with her. And I'm not paying her back, but again thanks for answering.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): I absolutely agree with you, you shouldn't pay her for cancelation fee. 20% is not that small of an amount, first of all, and yes, she needs to take a responsibility for her own mistakes. She is a grown woman, doesn't she understand that you have nothing to do with her sloppiness?And yes, if I spilled someone's coffee I would never ever even think of taking money from anyone, I would just give this coffee to a person, saying, sorry,i spilled half of it, it's on me.She is the one who is being cheap, not you. Yes, you did go on a trip together, so what? If someone stole her phone, you would have to share a cost of that phone also? I had a situation similar to this when I went on a trip with a friend awhile ago. When we were renting a car, she insisted on getting additional insurance, that they are trying to sell to you always. I saw how happy she made a car rental guy. I kept on telling her, call your credit card, ask them if they cover it, because usually they are. She kept on insisting, and because I had no choice, she was the driver, and it was her card, I said , ok. It was an extra 100$ for each of us for nothing. Then during the trip she tipped like crazy everywhere. I like to tip, but before we went to this country, I made a research and asked on trip advisor if we would need to tip extra in restaurants. And the answer was, no, service is already included, that we can just round the amount. She tipped 20/25% on top already 10% that was included. First of all it's stupid, and second it's inanapropriate. Not mentioning the cost of all this insane tipping.At the end she wanted me to share the cost of tips. I refused, reminding her how I kept telling her not to tip, and she kept doing it. She got mad at me, and like your friends, my friends when I shared the story with them, told me just to pay her back. I completely disagree with them.In my case she intentionally made all this unnecessary charges, in your case, your coworker made a mistake. It doesn't change the fact that she needs to stand behind her behavior but not to make another person liable for it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 February 2013):
 Yes, I would have paid. A cancellation fee is generally a small sum that 's not worth making a fuss about, but most importantly, if you wanted to be sure that everything was exactly of your liking , you should have booked yourself,or gone with her to reserve, or double checked right after. You delegated the task to her , to be executed to the best of her ability hopefully , but, alas , human error is always a possibility and when you have someone else do something for you , you have to take it into account and be cool with it.
If you had sent her to fetch you a cappuccino at Starbucks , and in coming back she'd had spilled half of it, would you have demanded to only pay half cappuccino ?
I hope not ! These things can happen and do happen all the time; either be a good sport, or, even better, do your travel reservations yourself .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): You are not friends , sex buddies/work collegues? I would have paid the amount and made sure going foward dont ask her to do any bookings as it can be a costly exercise. The only reason I would recommend paying is because you want to keep the peace and not have to worry about this ongoing debate whether you did right or wrong. Not everyone have the same ethics/expectation. Personally I would not expect someone to pay for my mistakes. But like I said sometimes just to shut everyone up, I would just pay this amount and put it down to a learning exercise
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A
female
reader, Ilha  +, writes (22 February 2013):
Dear OP,
I agree with iAmHereToHelp's opinion. I understand what you mean because you are a person who is not calculative. However, the person you went on a trip is very much a calculative person.
Just pay to avoid all these fuss. In the future, you know you should never ever go on a trip with her. If you do have to take a trip with her, then make all the arrangements yourself because she seems to be not effectively reliable.
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