A
male
age
36-40,
*ho v
writes:Last night I laid down next to my girlfriend and said "I love you" and she asked me to tell her why. So I started listing all of the things that I love about her. Then I asked her to tell me what she thought. She started by bringing up an argument we had earlier in the night. I resolved the situation and asked her to continue. She said a few nice things and then she said "you know what annoys me about you" and proceeded to list a few things that annoy her that I do. This really threw me off because I really love her and lately I'm not sure if she is reciprocating the love. We have been together six months and we were talking about marriage. Is this something I should worry about or just me reading into things too much? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): I wouldn't pay much attention OP, just don't ever think you can say the same kind of stuff to her. This kind of thing only works one way. "Well babe, one of the things that annoys me about you is that you put on a bit of weight" Wouldn't go down too well, not much does go down well when you criticize a woman in that way. You'll hear them come up in arguments for years to come too. "Well apparently you think I'm a fatass all these years." Plus OP in the context of what you were talking about it was very relevant. You're only together 6 months and the conversation of marriage comes up, marriage means living together and the annoying things you do are very relevant to that.Pay no attention to it OP, it means nothing more than she feels she can open up to you, besides you argued before that so maybe she was still in critical argue mode when you started getting all soppy and talking about marriage crap.
A
female
reader, wonderbread +, writes (22 February 2013):
This happens and it's normal. Not pleasant but normal. Me and my spouse when we were dating starting nit picking into each other. Like seriously it would go back and forth. Like one month I would dig into him, and a month later he would dig into me and we were constantly hurting each other.It'll take communication on both of your parts to realize when things are okay to bring up, and when to bring them up. Obviously after sharing your love and lying in bed is a awful time. I had to tell my husband (boyfriend at the time) that I was not cool with that. I recommend the ever traditional "hey, when you have a moment I would like to have a talk" and sit down and address the issue. At least that's the advice I have for your girlfriend. I feel like I'm digressing. So anyway, it's normal, don't worry about that. She just needs to learn an appropriate way to approach you, and what stuff to approach you about because everyone has quirks. Some we live with, and some we leave behind. Don't worry though, if you two think you're meant to be, this is not a hang up. Communication will help her see your side of things. Good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): Listen my hubby sometimes iterates the daylights out of me, our kids sometimes have me swinging by the lampshade haha but I love them to death ...Relationships are about loving the good parts as well as the bad, she was still in I'm not happy mood due to the argument earlier, so that's why you got the ticking of speech... Next time choose your moment to ask the same question after a romantic meal you've cooked and when your both cuddle on the sofa watching a DVD .. I bet the response is totally diffident lol .But even if you have annoying quirky habits she still loves you...You work along week, and maybe you two need to spend a weekend away somewhere if you both can afford or have a duvet day, lol how me and me hubby miss those .. Haha ..Take it easy and if in doubt tell how you feel, she what she says.. Keep us posted.
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A
male
reader, who v +, writes (22 February 2013):
who v is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe argument was about how little I was getting done around my house with chores. I own my own house and live alone. I also work 50+ hours a week. I didn't get much done on my day off so she was complaining about that. The stuff that she pointed out was quirky stuff that I didn't realize that I did. Thanks for your responses.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): Without knowing what the argument was about or what it is she dislikes it is difficult to tell if you should be worried or not. A little more information would have be very helpful.
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (22 February 2013):
 You are reading too much into it, I think its good she can tell you about the things that upset her. Yes, you may not want to hear it and if you complain, she will never express her concerns to you again.
Next time tell her at the end jokingly, now that you are dont with list of my short comings, so what is it about me that makes you love me and want to be with me.
You will get the answer you want. Yes we are emotional creatures but with tact a lot can be solved.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): No, you are not reading into it too much. I think she may be one of those people who believes everything is about them. Has she ever stopped to think about how her behavior is to you? She probably hasnt and she never will. She sounds like she is selfish and is likely to be very demanding. I would think twice. She may be one of these who prefares a challenge and see's you as something to wipe her feet on. Do not let her walk all over you.
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