Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): I know. Thats why im waiting. I want to wait for someone I love, which if the person I loved woudnt be able to have sex I wouldnt mind. People that are in love dont NEED sex, its something that they do to express their love in a physical way.
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reader, JohnisBlind  +, writes (30 August 2010):
JohnisBlind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell if the popular wisdom on the subject holds any water I wouldn't suggest you have sex anytime soon and especially not with somebody who isn't age appropriate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): you're probably right. It probably would be different. My 1st time could be w/ someone I love, or it could be a one night stand. Whatever, whenever it is im sure it would change how I would answer this question.
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reader, JohnisBlind +, writes (30 August 2010):
JohnisBlind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell people give there answers but you never know what their background is and they often have a difficult time providing reasons for their opinions. Since you are at an age of hyper-accelerated intellectual growth I wander what your answer would a year from now. I imagine it would probably be very different.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Im still a virgin because im only 13. I believe in waiting for someone special. I dont believe that sex is the most important part of a relationship. But you make a good point that some women get the most out of sex without being in love with that person. Other women have sex because they love that person. You have asked this question on a website where many people will read it and reply. Not everyone is going to give you the answer you are expecting. Because nobody is the same, everyone will have different thoughts about this topic, as well as every other question that people post on this website. I think that instead of asking the world this question, is to ask the woman you are in love with because thats the one answer that should really matter to you.:]
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reader, JohnisBlind +, writes (30 August 2010):
JohnisBlind is verified as being by the original poster of the question@watsername23 The way it is described it is sure sounds out this world sometimes. Why are you still a virgin? I have heard that even women don't HAVE to be in love to get the best out of sex.
But then somebody else like @thefuturemrscary will seem to imply that it is good but it isn't THAT good.
Doesn't it seem like people get very contradictory messages about sex?
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reader, JohnisBlind +, writes (30 August 2010):
JohnisBlind is verified as being by the original poster of the question@TheFutureMrsCary Well that is good to know. Why do you think sex is more important to other people then?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): I myself have never had sex, but by reading other peoples posts about sex, I hear it feels good. Most people [not all], have sex because they love that person, which is why those people would be able to go without it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): I think sex great because it feels good to me and it does add a level of intimacy that I enjoy with my man--HOWEVER, it's not the only thing in my life and I am not consumed by it. Between relationships, I have gone years without sex and was no worse for the wear because of it. I wasn't missing it or looking for it, at all. I didn't feel any need to masturbate or troll for a one-night stand. Many women are not into sex at all--because of their past abuse or experiences. And they have a very difficult time finding love because men are generally more sex oriented and many are unwilling to be in a non-sexual relationship.
Because we're on a love advice board, sex is a very hot topic here--but it's not the only thing that can be shared by caring individuals. My BF have a great "other" life--we laugh and play together. We watch TV and make fun of the people on it. We play with our 8 cats and take pictures of them. We wash the car and go out for donuts in the middle of the night.
If he suddenly became unable to perform sexually, my feelings for him would not change. I can say that with all honesty because I know how I feel about him and sex is only part of it.
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reader, JohnisBlind +, writes (30 August 2010):
JohnisBlind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do have a difficult time putting my trust into people because people were never very sympathetic toward toward me on the sex issue until I brought up the fact that it was for physical reasons.
Of course I could have never done that without the anonymity of the internet.
So I totally feel rejected in a way that makes it difficult for me to open up to people.
How am I supposed to trust people when nobody responded to my emotional need before? (In the form of saying directly to me or in some other way that let me know that getting sex made me anything other than a "loser" who "can't get any" - i hate that expression)
Although I guess it was a good thing to open up because only when I discovered that so many people are okay with being in a relationship with a man that can not have sex then that makes me feel more trusting toward others on the issue of how important sex is.
Now, you said sex is great but you'd be willing to go without even though it is great?
Why do you think it is great then?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): Yes,Johnisblind, I'm saying that I could be in a relationship with a man that was not able to perform sexually. I enjoy sexual relations with the man I love, but there is MUCH MUCH more to him than his penis, hands and tongue. He is my friend, my confidant and a great companion for the mundane things in life. I love him because he's good to me and he puts me first. He's there when I need to cry, or laugh or scream. He's there for me to cuddle with while I watch American Idol.
I realize there is much more to your question than is posted here. I hope you find the "answer" you need in order to move forward with your circumstances (assuming you are posting about yourself).
A man with a kind heart and loving spirit is worth so much more than a man with good sexual technique. A woman has many ways to pleasure herself--but none of it means a thing without a soul mate for the day-to-day life.
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reader, JohnisBlind +, writes (29 August 2010):
JohnisBlind is verified as being by the original poster of the question@TheFutureMrsCary Good! Why aren't most women as nice as you? The question was purposely ambiguous to include more than one possibility.
So when you say that you could love a guy that was not able to have sex do you mean that you could be in a relationship with that person?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): If you are asking could I love someone that wasn't able to make love with me? Yes, I could.
Are you asking could I feel sympathy for someone that wasn't able to have sex (for whatever reason)? Yes. I think that would be a difficult situation in life--especially if the person had knowledge of sex and how great it could be. I would feel badly for a person like that.
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reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Yes
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): It would suck to never be able to have sex. Having sex with someone you love is a special bond that you share with that person. I would have sympathy for that person, not only for that reason but because they couldnt have children. Or are you talking about a person that cant have sex because their scared or because it isnt possible?
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