A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, When we met a year ago, my boyfriend was very close to an ex girlfriend (they had been broken up a few years but stayed good friends) They stayed in contact for the first few months we were together but then she stopped getting in touch with him completely.My question is for anyone who is friends with an ex.. would you find it hard to stay friends if he met someone else? I just think maybe she distanced herself because she is not over him. Any opinions welcome.Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2012): Thanks again for the replies.
I did ask him if he knows why they no longer talk but he doesnt know either. I am not the first girlfriend he has had since they broke up. She didnt have a problem before but seems to now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): I have a friend who will not be friends with an ex once they have a girlfriend. Her reason is simply because she respects that he is in a relationship, and she was in the position previously where the new girlfriend felt uncomfortable with it and instead of talking to the guy in question she contacted my friend and was abusive, so she simply does not remain friends with any ex who has a girlfriend, out of respect for the girlfriend. You may not have a problem with it, but some do, she may just being respectful. Ask him if he knows, if not who cares. I personally won't be friends with ex's they are an ex for a reason.
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A
female
reader, Latti  +, writes (4 May 2012):
I have had several ex's that tried to be friends after a relationship gone bad. Normally, 1 of the 2....still has feelings! The friendship is something that keeps them connected to each other. Once they find another partner....someone is offended!
It sounds like the ex/friend was not just hanging on because she really wanted to be friends. Their may have been that ray of hope that after a while....he would see the light and they would get back together....if she could stick around that long.
Now, he's dating you...and he's oblivious to her real feelings....you two last longer than she anticipated and now she has cut all ties with no explanation. Well, you didn't need a 3rd wheel in your relationship anyway...good riddens to her...see ya!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): lots of people get divorced, get remarried, and still have to keep in contact because they share custody of kids and have the common interest of raising the kids.
I wouldnt' call it the same thing as "being friends". just that they can do business with each other and be civil, no more no less.
being friends implies you both are nurturing and maintaining some kind of emotional connection, voluntarily spend time socializing with each other, etc.
I don't know anyone who is friends in that sense with their ex when both people have moved on and are now remarried or in new relationships.
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A
male
reader, BETTERFLIRT +, writes (3 May 2012):
The first thing you should know is the exact reason. What Do I mean by this? Not every situation that produceS the same result. Still now we both you and I know the cause of that distance. What you have to do is to be observe them or just ask your soul mate to tell you. It is not so difficult to stay close to someone even if you loved him/her. The decision matters in your ability to control your emotion and face the situation. Perhaps the ex thought there would be a second chance but when seeing you get there I do not avoid this can be the great "WHY".
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 May 2012):
 I don't understand the need to be friends with an ex. they are an ex for a reason...
either she stopped for whatever reasons she needed to stop being friends (and it could have been you being his gf but I would not bet the farm on it)
or he asked her to stop for whatever reasons (maybe you or maybe he's done with her and he just doesn't want to pretend to be friends any more)
or maybe they just stopped being friends and it gradually faded away.
is there a reason you don't ask him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): Thanks for your replies.
I don't think he told her to back off because I didnt mind the friendship. I dont think she made a move either, I just thought it was strange that she stopped being friends because they were friends for a long time. I guess it might be hard for her to see him in another serious relationship so she cut ties
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 May 2012):
 I don't think it's appropriate to be close with an ex while you're currently in another relationship. Maybe your boyfriend told her to back off but didn't want to tell you (maybe he thought it was early enough in the relationship you'd interpret it as clingy). My guess is she tried to make a move on him and he told her he was with you now and she needed to move on.
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