A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Would you ever lie to the person you are going to marry about having cheated on them during the relationship? Could you live with yourself after marriage, knowing you lied about being loyal throughout the relationship? What kind of a person can say wedding vows, knowing they are keeping a secret regarding disloyalty and betrayal from their partner? I'm not talking about a serial cheater who is likely to do it again...more someone who made some mistakes and plans to remain faithful during marriage.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): I don't know where you got that idea but that doesn't happen. If you based your marriage in lies it is going to bite you in the end. And no, you won't remain faithful forever and live with the secret. it does has a funny way of coming out years later and your spouse will hate you because a marriage based on lies is the most hurtful thing you can do. cut if off now, be brave. good luck next time!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 November 2010):
If you lie to someone about something like this, there are three problems.
The first, is that if the person ever finds out they've been lied to, then the whole idea of marriage becomes a joke, and a waste of time. The marriage itself becomes a lie, because it's built upon one lie/mistake that has never been owned up to.
The second, simply, is that the liar becomes a hypocrite. The liar can never get angry, never criticize, never say anything without being a hypocrite. Even if the other person cheated, they can't complain without being a hypocrite.
The third, is that it ultimately shows a huge lack of respect.
In my opinion, if a person cheats, they should own up. If they don't, they can never make a move without being a hypocrite. Also, the person who has been cheated on should be allowed to choose whether to forgive or not to forgive.
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