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Would you enter a relationship knowing it would have to end?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello,

My question is:

Would you enter into a short-term romantic relationship knowing it would have to end?

I ask because I have seen people do this with no problem and I can't do it and am wondering if maybe I am missing out.

At summer camp this summer, a few American counselors are having affairs with European counselors. One of the Americans is my friend and he is going sorta hot and heavy with this cute Belgian girl. He told me he know its just a summer fling but he says their just gonna enjoy it while it lasts.

Also, my sister is having a fling with an older guy about 30 years older. Shes 23. She told me too its just for fun and she knows its no future there but he is nice to her, sexy, and she likes the moment.

I cant get into these flings knowing they are doomed to fail because I will invest so much emotions in them I think I will be destroyed when it ends.

Am I the one losing out here?

Is it good to just have a fling even though you know theres no future in it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011):

If you invest a lot of emotions quickly then a fling is not for you. You're not missing out as such, either you have the capability to enjoy a short term relationship and "have fun", or you don't enjoy it. People do what they enjoy and enjoy different things. Some like the short term no feelings flings, others like you prefer the deeper more meaningful connection.

It's just a matter of preference. And yes, I have had short flings that lasts about a week and then you separate, it's no big deal when you don't invest feelings into it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011):

You aren't missing out on anything apart from a whole load of heartbreak! If you know that such an experience would leave you utterly crushed then don't be tempted to try it.

When we watch others doing something which we secretly feel to be detrimental but see that they don't seem to suffer any consequences, we tend to wonder if *we're* in the wrong and losing out somehow. The majority isn't always right though. I'm like you; without a doubt, such a relationship would cut me to the core and I'd never get involved in one, not even for the "experience". Please stay true to yourself - I promise you, you won't regret it. Good luck and take care :)

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A female reader, missy_musk United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2011):

missy_musk agony aunthun if your one of those people that get quite quickley attatched then it's not a good idea. there is a thin line between fun and emotional attatchment and more often then not, people find they start getting attatched and emotionally involved before they can stop themselves... your right 'flings are doomed to fail' and honestly hun its not worth the heartbreak xx

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