A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend has a high school diploma ad he does not know if he wants to go back to school, while i am getting my bachelors. he does not have a bank account, he is not that intelligent meaning he can not really read or spell that great. he spends money very stupidly and is always at his friends house playing video games or playing basket ball on his days off from work and he is a chronic borrower. Right now he stays at his friends place not helping them pay rent but just sleeps over there.i am in a relationship with him he is very loving but i do not know if i can in the long run be with some one like that, i am thinking about living him! i need someone who has their head on and knows what they want out of life, who can later provide for their family and i need some one who i can talk to on an intellectual level, does that make me sound coincided? i am just looking out for what is best for me!what would you do?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Leave him.
That he cannot read or spell correctly may not be his fauly ( he may have a learning disability ).
But that he is a chronic borrower,and a moocher to his friends, is his fault. If he likes living off people now, in future he'll want to live off you.
A
male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Please break up with him my sister continued it and she got her life ruined please break up with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): The only way you'll truely feel happy in a long term relationship is if your partner puts in seemingly just as much effort and responsibility. I don't think he's stupid so much as just uncaring toward the serious side of life. If he doesn't take care of himself while being with you, he certainly won't be able to offer anything financially or supporting toward a longterm relationship. I have, however, seen alot of friends who were like him, grow up suddenly and take life seriously when they were a couple years older than that, so I can't say for sure that he might not change in the future. You'll have to make a judgement call based on how much potential to suddenly change, you feel he has, and how soon you feel he might..
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (22 April 2010):
 NO do not stay with him.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (22 April 2010):
Nooo...I would not date someone like that. Think of it this way: you want to be with someone that's at least your equal. You obviously have goals and want to have a decent lifestyle. He's immature with no goals and doesn't really seem to care one way or the other. To be honest, he's a loser. No girl with goals for her future and wants to better herself wants to date some dude that wants to play video games all day and not be self-sufficient.
I guess if you really want things to work out, talk to him. Let him know that he needs to be on your level if he wants the relationship to continue; otherwise, you don't see a future with him. It's not conceited or anything of that nature, most people want someone who's at least on their level. You don't want to wind up with him years from now while he's still doing the same thing and wondering why you didn't leave him years before.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Good for you for thinking long term! The part about him spending money stupidly and a "chronic borrower" is the huge red flag with this relationship. That will bring MASSIVE problems when a relationship gets serious, as he'll start sponging off of YOU.
It's a smart thing on your part for not allowing love to be blind. You're getting a degree - you have your future in mind.
Everything else, the high school education and the video game playing could just be a sign of youth and shouldn't scare you away, but the money issues is a deal breaker. THE number one marital crisis is finances. Especially if the guy is the same age range you are - he's set in his ways, no doubt about it.
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (22 April 2010):
I would move on, he is only going to bring you down, it sounds like he does not to grow up. You're not coincided, I feel the same way, I want to be with someone who is at the same level I am, I'm in college too. I know it makes me sound like a bitch wanting to be with someone who also has a college education.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (22 April 2010):
 He doesn't sound very responsible, from what you have written, but it is up to him how he chooses to live his life, you know. I really think you have answered your own question.
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A
female
reader, msjuicy +, writes (22 April 2010):
 me I would leave him cuz life would be worst in the future that's my opinion just do what's best for you or if you really like him try talking to him about school and explain him how life would be better for us if he go back to school cause he might be using you
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