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Would you date a girl with this sexual past?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 February 2009) 18 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2009)
A age 41-50, * writes:

She is perfect in looks for you, perfect in personality for you!

She is 21 years old (just imagine that is the perfect age for you lol), KNOW 100% she would never cheat on you, EVERYTHING is perfect for you.

But.....

She lost her virginity at 14 through anal, slept with 2 others at 14, 2 at 16, 5 at 17 (one of which also included anal) 2 at 19 then 1 at 20, which would be you (which also included anal)

So 12 vaginal in total (including you) 2 of which included anal and 1 who she just did anal with when she lost her virginity, so 13 sleeping partners in total.

She knew all the guys for at least 2/3 weeks before sleeping with them (most of them she knew for more) and most where in relationships and the ones that weren't she wanted to develop into but they didn't, so no 1 night stands or anything like that.

So knowing all this would you still want to date/be in a serious relationship with this girl?????

View related questions: sexual past, vagina

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009):

Please dont judge her! I'm going through something similar, and I feel like i'm not good enough for my partner, theres not a day goes by I dont regret my past. I feel guilty about it and have become depressed. Please accept her past and accept her for who she is before she discovers what you have been asking yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Not in the UK there isn't lol unless there under 16, nobody really believes in saving yourself until marriage over her! besides i woulnd't really want a virgin, i was just wondering who here would date a girl with this past or if this past would bother them to see if im completely over reacting or not!

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A male reader, Hasden Thailand +, writes (14 February 2009):

Hasden agony auntThere's a lot of virgin girls in this world.

If u can't handle it just say no because if u keep this thing running in your mind it won't be good for your relationship.

Make your own CHOICE.

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A female reader, Hermione Canada +, writes (14 February 2009):

True, I think it's a shame that anyone here has judged her harshly. To each their own, everyone's sexual experience moves at a different pace. I think it's a terrible thing to hold against someone.

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A male reader, MyDestiny United States +, writes (11 February 2009):

MyDestiny agony aunt yeah those girls that are judging her are probly just jelous and immature..in 8 years she could have done a lot more dammage...12 guys in 8 years is nothing compared to some of the girls out there...

in 8 years, some girls sleep with a new guy every week

do the math

dont worry about her.. she 's a good one

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the responses everyone :).

So all the guys that have responded so far said they would date her and obviously dont find her past that bad and didnt say any negative words towards her but instead praised her and stuck up for her saying its not that much and she was picky about who she slept with (only 12 in 8 years) and I'm being picky NOW and there's much worse out there.

Some of the girls (not all) on the other hand seemed to judge her more harshly calling her negative words such as easy, slutty, gullible, not mature, 12 being a little iffy, having had THAT MANY at such a young age, loose, knowing someone for only 3 weeks being to soon to sleep with someone (which only happened twice btw and in fact she actually knew them about a month, and most of the others she knew for years.)

I find this very interesting, i though it would be the other way around with the guys judging her and the girls sticking up for her.

Ironically the only guy judging her on this page is me!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009):

short answer is yes. long answer is can u switch that brain off - if yes then yes, if no then break up now. FINALLY what r u going to do when u have to date a 30 year old girl or a 25 yr old imagine the potential history then, frankly it doesn't matter.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009):

By just asking this question, it is bothering you. Usually these kind of girls do better with men that are loose also.

I think you will be better off with a woman that saves herself. All her sexual memories will be with you.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (11 February 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntYou know what? She might be perfect for you in looks and personality, but YOU don't sound perfect for HER. She might be better off with a guy who isn't going to hold her past against her. Do the magnanimous thing and let her go to find the man who will treasure her, because you obviously aren't going to be able to do it.

There's a girl out there who will be a better fit for you, just as there's guy out there who will be a better match for her. Life is sometimes irritating that way.

There is better prey out there for a predator. Good luck!

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A male reader, OmegaXF United States +, writes (11 February 2009):

OmegaXF agony auntThere are 365 days in a year no? And you've added up that she has had over 12 partners over 8 years though? lol Your being picky and like her just for sex. If this wasn't the case you wouldn't be asking for our opinions on a girl you just F***ed. And is wondering if you should be with her because of how many partners she's been with.

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (11 February 2009):

sappygirl agony auntYou should want to be with her because you like her and want to be with her. don't judge her on her sexual past.

If you have a problem with it, don't be with her.

If it doesn't bother you, go for it.

She is probably looking for love and still equate having sex with love.

Judge her character not her past

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009):

P.P.S.

Somthing to ponder on......

If 2 to 3 weeks is way too soon to have sex...what if you wait ten months, or a year ? will the ones that wait until marriage think that the ten month ones who wait longer are cheap and slutty too?

Judging may well put US ALL IN THE DOCK even the ones that think they don't belong their! judge ourselves not others.

via con dios.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009):

Hi again..

My Morals...hmmmmmmmmmmm

never lie

never judge

never hide

never be ashamed

never regret

What is wrong with been easy? it's the same end result as the one who makes you wait..you shag!!!!! some like to hide behind the mask of innocence, game playing and wanting to create a certain image of themselves, so they are not judged.

What has her past got to do with now...STD,S....hmmmmm

all this holier than thou shit gets right up my nose.... clean and pure..men and women are meant to love and experience each other...

Sex is not dirty....it is the minds of people that view it as sinful that it becomes dirty.

You may meet someone only ONCE and make love and have a child....how can that EXPERIENCE be cheap or dirty? something truly wonderful and GODLY has come out of a one night sexual experience EVEN THOUGH THEY DID NOT WAIT TO A SET TIME SCALE. Time only exists in mans mind.

Mary Magda -lain the prostitute....do we still stone her today?

via con dios.

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A female reader, Hermione Canada +, writes (11 February 2009):

Sounds like she's had a tough time in the past. That's usually the case with people who've had that many sexual experiences at such a young age. However you also say that in more recent years (2 at 19 and 1 at 20) she's only slept with 3 people in the last 4 years! (since you don't mention any at 18 and is still with you at 21). Give the girl a break, it's not like this kind of sleeping about has been happening right up to the point where you two started seeing each other. And as you said, there weren't any one-night-stands.

If she really is perfect for you then you shouldn't hold things from 5 yrs into the past against her. Maybe you should be a little more supportive and ask about the circumstances. If you can't get over this kind of thing, then maybe she deserves someone who can appreciate all the things she has to offer, like her loyalty!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009):

Hi

Why should it matter?

So you want us bunch of strangers to decide your life for you? ok!

I think if she's had more than 12 shags ..a little iffy.

Blonde is better..

only five foot seven will do..

iF SHE HAS GIVEN THE ODD BLOW JOB I WOULD THINK TWICE.

If you want a virgin that is your choice...we ALL have history and for you to want a clean slate is rather selfish and based on your own insecurities and small mindedness.

There should be no manual to life...if your happy just get on with living.

via con dios.

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A male reader, MyDestiny United States +, writes (10 February 2009):

MyDestiny agony aunt yes, you shouldnt live in the past

its time to move foward and hope for the future

dont judge her by her past

gudd luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009):

There's only one answer I can give to that, which is:

OH YES!!

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A female reader, lil_dreamer United States +, writes (10 February 2009):

well if that was a guy in my case, then nooo.

it sounds like she is really easy and maybe that it what they used her for even though she has a good personality. she sounds gullible and not mature.

if u want to kno what lack of morals is, that would be a good description. sorry, this sounds harsh but its completely true. talk to her about her past and why she has sex with so many guys and so soon. 2/3 weeks is waaay to soon to have sex wid anyone. it just makes them sound really easy and slutty.

and consider the fact that she might have std's. it sounds like she has a good chance and probably will if she keeps this up..

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