A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If someone you were seeing - not offically, but were hanging out and being intimate - and you did hurt them by not being honest and you are aware of it...because of that you agreed to be friends..and you throw in "friends for now/not ruling it out"if they told you that they have actually been rather ill (health wise) - during the time you were together and still now - but they explain they were not them selves because of that. They were quiet scared as they didn't know what was going on (very ill - but not a 'visible' illness) - so probably acted a little weird as you would...They were much more quieter, didn't drink much, lack of energy due to this (medical condition is quiet serious). Half the time they thought they were gonna black out.Would you care at all? (You really liked this person a lot. )Would you think that maybe you dont really know 'them' as they were going through a lot..and wonder.?you even told this person that you care about them and your 'here' for them.... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 January 2009):
It sounds like a mental illness and since I had previously hurt them and messed them about, I might conclude that the best thing to do would be to back off until they got themselves fixed.
I'm not exactly helping the situation by hanging around and hurting them / being unsure of my feelings.
I'm guessing this is about you as I read your previous question. You sound pretty hung up on this guy and I think to be honest he just can't handle the crap that is going on in your life so he's run off. Sort yourself out and write him off as not worth your time. There are better guys out there.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Hi Hunny
I'm a little confused by your question love but I will give it ago, First I take it that the person seeing this friend has done something and not being honest so the friends situation is staying because of this, Although there maybe a chance of something else...To this I would say be honest before anything starts up.....
If this friend had been ill and wasn't sure what was going on I would presume that because of the fear of not knowing it may make this friend very quiet at times especially if they were feeling so sick..Some people when they get ill and are not sure what is happening will keep it to themselves until they know and still then may get scared to say anything for fear of the illness itself and maybe being rejected, That fear could still be there even though they have been told they will be cared for and you are there for them... If you need to ask anything else sweetheart please do, I do hope I have answered your question as you wanted if not message me or just write a follow up hunny I'll be glad to help in anyway TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (11 January 2009):
of corse youd care! you have history with this person and however bad it may of turned out for whatever reason all they need is your support right now. dont worry about how you show it! when somebody you know is ill its normal to worry and to care and to offer them help, its human nature. forget your past and what you did wrong just because they didnt confide in you first doesnt mean they never wanted too. they were probably finsing it hard to accept themseleves without the added pressure of people knowing. maybe they just wanted to be treated the same as theyalways have been and doesnt want this to get in the way? only you can answer these questioins rather than asking them. im sorry ive used the term 'they' it comes across as really uncaring! if youve reassured them that you there for them thats all they need, be there for them through it all they need a mate right now a good solid mate thats all you have to be.
i didnt really understand your post so if my answer doesnt make sense then im sorry i can misenturpt things a lot!
i hope all works out, let me know how it goes nobodys alone in these situations- remember that. xxx
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