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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My ex of 4 years dumped me out of nowhere. It's just too harsh for me then. I keep myself busy and move on and I think I'm doing better though I still cried to bed some nights. I think I forgive him in my heart and wish him the best. Does anyone think I should write him an email? If so, any suggestion?
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male
reader, adaminio  +, writes (18 July 2013):
Hun no it won't, it will just repeat the pain process for you, you go through anger,hurt,denial,forgive and a few more,but if you get in contact your just repeating the process of these emotions, just focus on your from now on please.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2013): Once people make up their minds to dump you; there isn't much you can do but try and get over the breakup.
You may write letters and keep them. That will allow you to express the things that are building up inside of you. It would be a good stress-reliever; and as the other aunt says, therapeutic.
I recommend that you tear them up, not to tempt yourself to send them. That would be terribly wrong on many different levels. He has already gone over his reasons many times over in his own mind; and there isn't much you can say that will change things.
This is the period of "no contact" after the breakup. You will only increase your anxiety by trying to communicate; forcing him to ignore you. No calls, e-mails, Instagrams,
IM's, or text messages. It will be hard; but it is an essential step in getting over the pain.
His silence will make you think you're going to go insane, but that is a normal reaction.
I got dumped myself recently, and I've experienced every single emotion you are facing now.
I wrote some articles; because I am going through the process, and want to reach out to others.
Please read these articles:
www.dearcupid.org/question/i-got-dumped-and-i-know-how-.html
www.dearcupid.org/question/how-does-the-dumper-feel-after-dumping-you.html
Hopefully; it will entertain you, and let you know that someone out here knows exactly how you feel. I hope it gives you a little comfort and a smile. You are not alone.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (17 July 2013):
I agree with writing him a letter and not sending it. It can be very therapeutic.
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A
female
reader, malvern +, writes (17 July 2013):
 Don't write an email, or a letter because you'll only regret it. I've made the mistake of doing it and you can absolutely guarantee that the recipient will read some other meaning in your words. My ex accused me of writing 'nasty little letters' which absolutely stunned me as I thought I had written very nice letters. I think you have to take the attitude that as he's not spending his time thinking of you then why should you waste your time thinking of him. Hard though it be it's best to forget and move on which you seem to be doing anyway. The less contact you have with him, and the less you know about his life now, is best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): Oh love, I really do feel for you. I have been in your shoes and getting over someone you love and were with for a long period of time is one of the hardest things, it's almost like a grieving process.. You grow to love someone and then when they leave you are left with a missing part of you.You need to find that part of you that you lost, not try to rediscover it in him. It doesn't sound like he had much consideration for you when he finished with you, so why give him the satisfaction of knowing that you still care?He isn't worthy of you and your words, it will hurt until you get over him, there isn't a time frame on a broken heart but it will happen eventually, you will meet someone knew - everything happens for a reason.Please don't email him. You are better off without. I hope you feel better soon, you will be okay, honest.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (17 July 2013):
 Hi,
Breaking up is hard especially as you've been together for sometime. I think writing an email to him isn't a good idea especially when you are not still completely over it. Part of moving on is staying away from him, rediscovering yourself especially finding other ways or people that would make you happy besides him.Writing an email to him will only reopen old wounds and slow down your healing process and your progress to move forward from this.You have already spent four years of your life on the relationship since it isn't working and he says it is over i think it is time to move on from this rather than spending any more time. I know it is hard but you can do it.
Goodluck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): Write him a letter but don't send it ..... i think it might help you to get some closure but if you are still weepy then it may not be the best time to send. Keep letter and see how you feel in six months, you may feel quite differently. But in that time you can decide if you do want to and also what you would like to say.
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