A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend, now fiance are planning our wedding and deciding on a wedding date. We have been engaged for one year. Dated for a year prior.I don't know if it is butterflies in my stomach but a few of his behaviors I am starting to question.I found out he lied about his past relationships with his ex-girlfriends, how long they went out together, etc. One girl he said 1 or 3 months he dated when it was actually a year. A girlfriend of mine found out through a friend who knows the girl. He said he asked two ex-girlfriends to marry him and they turned him down. But on his pension form he had put one girlfriends name in as the beneficiary, the one that he had asked to marry, so that tells me they were really engaged (I'm guessing here, but why would he do that otherwise?). It's little white lies like that.He took many random pictures of women in their swimsuits on the beach when we took a vacation together. We aren't talking faraway shots, but up close shotsof their body parts. I was beside him when he did this. That was unsettling.He ogles women all the time when we go out together. Up and down looks, etc. turning his head back to look when we walk together going past a girl. or making some kind of commotion to get their attention, it's subtle how he goes about it, but he seems to need other women's attention to validate him as a man.Is this normal behavior for a man?
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (30 November 2012):
Bending the truth about past relationships I can somewhat understand, and he may feel bringing the past into the future does no one any good.
Gawking at other women, esp in your presence, is not acceptable behavior, and you should not tolerate it.
A
female
reader, peteloevely  +, writes (30 November 2012):
 Did you post asking advice about him taking pictures of women in the beach? Because i remember a question like that a while back? Everyone made it very clear that that is not normal behaviour... is creepy desperate and the fact that his girlfriend is sitting right next to him makes it worst!
And i will say it again... it is not normal, i wouldn’t want to be any were near a man who does that, violate other people’s privacy like that? No amigo. a lot of that kind of material ends up in porn websites without this women’s consent is infuriating!!!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 November 2012):
 I am just wondering why you would even consider marrying a guy you clearly don't trust?
You know all this weird stuff about him (taking pics and oogling women) and yet you have agreed to marry him?? why is that?
It never fails to amaze me how many people rush into any old marriage just so they can say 'Hey I'm married, I'm not alone' without every really considering the long term implications of being with someone who is clearly not suitable or trust worthy!!
Sure...marry him, but you don't have to be a psychic to work out that your future will be a huge ball of mistrust, fights, arguments confusion and sadness...
Good luck with it, you are gonna need it!!
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (30 November 2012):
hello.
I thought you were maybe unsure if you wanted to marry reading the first few reasons, until I came to the ogling and taking photos. Im not saying the first reasons are not valid but ANY man who ogled women and took photos of them, up close or no, in front of me would be DUMPED. that is not only disrespectful of you, but it speaks volumes about how he views women.
you can do much better than this. best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012): What did these random women on the beach say? They allowed a stranger to take their photo or they didn't know because he was far enough?
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