A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Cupid I was wondering if it is good idea to tell a girl you like her if you want to move things forward with her .I know the girl for about three months and I want to take things forward by telling her how I feel.I have decided to do it in a week when I meet her alone. We meet regularly and talk over the phone sometimes. So would telling her I find her attractive be a better way to move things forward ! Or is there a better way ?Help Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 February 2014):
 What is it you want her to do? What is the action you want?
If you want her to go out with you, you have to ask her out. Telling her she's attractive is fine but she may just nod and say 'thank you' and mean it, but it doesn't get her to go out with you.
If you think that telling her she is attractive will prompt her to ask you out, you are being too passive.
She hasn't had a chance to digest that you may want to date her, she may think you are a nice guy but she may not have considered you as a romantic partner.
So, think of what it is you want to happen. If it is telling her she's a lovely woman and her smiling and saying 'thank you' and that's the end of it, tell her she's a lovely woman.
If you want her to go on a date with you, you ask her out on a date.
Visualize a successful date and keep that in the forefront of your mind as you approach her.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 February 2014):
Telling her you find her attractive won't move things forward by itself. Your problem is that you aren't taking the initiative to move things forward, you're leaving that up to her. You'll be waiting for awhile....
You should tell her you're attracted to her and then ask her out. Anything less is a waste of time.
You probably waited too long but you'll find out soon enough.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014): No, that's perfect. Tell her you find her attractive and that you'd like to take her out just to two of you, or do it the other way around, ask her out on a date then tell her that.
Your choice.
I'd say "I'm interested in you" or "I'm attracted to you" instead though. While telling a woman she's attractive is a lovely compliment it is just one aspect, the physical and you'd be surprised how many will take that as a meaningless compliment. Saying you're attracted/interested means there's no room for misinterpretation.
So go for it. There really is no better way.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (20 February 2014):
 I think it's best to be honest and upfront from the beginning. I wonder if it might be a bit late since you've known each other for a while and become friends. Women don't like it when men pretend to be their friends in the hope of getting somewhere with them. Not saying you are but she might perceive it that way. But if you like her there's nothing for it but to go for it and hope for the best.
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