A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok maybe some of you will think this is a stupid question but it bothers me to no end somehow. this girl i have been dating for a while now has a pet name for me. the pet name is (dont laugh please) babykins. yes i am serious. anyway, when she first started calling me babykins, i thought it was sweet, so i started calling her babykins too. soon we were both calling each other babykins all the time in intimate conversation.the other day i found an old letter she wrote to an ex a year and a half ago. it was to her last bf. and guess what, in the letter she calls him babykins too!!!i haven't yet confronted her about it because part of me thinks i am being an arse getting so upset. but the emotional side says, no dammit babykins was OUR word, how could she have used it with someone else???it makes me think she is cheap. how many other babykins have there been??? ok, can anyone understand this or am i being a baby about it (or even a babykins)?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): I know what you mean! My partner and I have hd discussions about this before in the past. I refuse to call him anything, because I used to call MY ex baby, honey, sexy etc etc. So when I got with my current partner, I thought it was disrespectful to call him the same names. It IS cheap. But my bf calls me honey etc and I know he used to call his ex the same names.
How can you be a special babykins, when there have been other babykins before you, right? This is not something to break up over though, and I'm glad you can see the funny side of it. The way to resolve it is to let her call you that or ask her to call you something else. But something tells me, you will always be a babykins to her as its just the word she uses on her bfs.
and stop snooping though old letters! LOL
A
female
reader, briscoe +, writes (12 July 2011):
hey there, don't worry about it, pet names are something that follow you through every relationship. my boyfriend and i have together 5 yrs and i know i'm not his first "babe" and he's not mine. maybe you can come up with your own special names, i call my guy "fuzzy peachbum" don't think i need to explain why, haha! and he calls me "dorkus molorkus" cause i can be a big dork sometimes. so no worries it doesn't mean she misses him or anything, it's just a name.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): You are being jealous about there having been others. The word is just your focus.
"babykins" is like saying "sweatheart" or "honey" etc.
Nothing more, nothing less.
It is a term in her speech, she will use it if you get married and have kids to talk to them eventually more likely than not.
She's not a virgin, she's not a whore, she's a woman who likes you enough to call you babykins.
I'd go with it.
Why confront her about anything?
As far as being "cheap", don't treat her so cheaply, invest in her, and she will be the most expensive emotional investment you will ever make, she won't be "cheap".
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 I don't think it is stupid for you to be upset, but I also don't think she's doing it to be mean or anything. Some people just revert to pet names they feel comfortable with. I know I'm not my man's first "babycakes" but I know I'm his only "babycakes". So I guess if you really feel put off about it, maybe you should say something. But, if you feel like you are her only babykins then don't worry about it. What's in a name anyways? Would she care about you more if she called you "sweetheart" instead? Probably not.
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent  +, writes (12 July 2011):
I wouldn't worry too much about it!
It's like someone calling you hun, chick, love etc.
Anyway, you are her 'babykins' right now, not the 1.5 year old ex hey?!!! He's her 'ex' for a reason after all, she is choosing to be with you know, so don't stress about it, it's really not that important, as long as you are both happy now with each other :-)
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A
female
reader, LuvLost +, writes (12 July 2011):
LOL. That pet name is so hilarious!!! Anyway, you have all the right in the world to feel the way you do. I would confront her about it and hear what she has to say first. Maybe she still has feelings for her ex and the pet name still connects her to him. And by the way BABYKINS was technically their name first so let it go. If you still want to be with her, come up with a new pet name that is uniquely yours!
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