A
male
age
30-35,
*eorgey5100
writes:Hi :) just need some help. There is a guy in my year at college. He has told me he is unsure of his sexuality and that although he likes girls there is a guy he likes. I really think he is cute and really like him.I can't decide what to do as I want to ask him out, but that might scare him. I wouldn't mind even being friends with benefits with him, as that would probably work easier as i have college work which is more important than relationships right now.What do I do? He's so adorable but I think he's quite confused right now. Would it be wrong to try anything with him? If I did, I don't think he would be upset... he's a very forgive and forget kind of guy. Would it be stupid to offer for him to experiment with me? I know it wouldn't hurt our friendship as we are good friends. Sorry for the rambling on :P
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Take it slowly. Test the waters. Ask him to go swimming with you, or invite him round for a movie and a glass of wine. Keep up the eye contact and find subtle ways of physically touching. You know, brush against him here and there. Try and gauge from his body language if there's a sexual chemistry between you, and if there's a nice silent moment when you're both looking at each other and clearly thinking 'should we kiss here?' THAT'S your moment to go for it. If he was openly gay and openly into you, it would be a simpler matter of just caressing his chest and reaching for his zipper, but that's a little too high-risk/high-reward in a situation like this one. Best of luck!!
A
male
reader, georgey5100 +, writes (22 March 2011):
georgey5100 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Boonbridge i like the idea of playfighting ;) thanks for that tip
@heartfullalove thanks :) I think I will go for it :) but now I just need advice other ways to go about it? as i said I like Boonbridge's idea but other suggestions would be cool :)
Thanks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): I say you go for it. He's already told you he's, if not openly gay yet, at least unsure of his sexuality (ie he has fantasised about being with men) and the fact that he's told you there's a guy he likes sounds to me like a really strong hint. In fact, maybe the guy he likes is you.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You need to be brave if anything's going to happen between you. It would be a shame if you were still wondering in a few years time 'I wish I'd gone for it but I was too nervous'. Look at it this way, even if he isn't interested, he's a friend and won't object to your sexuality, since he's already raised the subject himself. And if he goes for it, then yay!!!
Anyway he sounds adorable, and so do you. It's worth the risk - taking into account everything you've said, the rewards definitely seem to outweigh the risks. What's to lose? OK, you run the risk of a) him being not interested and b) despite our best intentions, hormones do funny things and it's very hard sometimes to sleep with a man without becoming emotionally attached to him.
Also - if the dream comes true, makes sure a) you use protection and b) if it's your first time having sex, that you know what to do to make it safe and comfortable (lube).
Good luck, let us know how you get on.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (19 March 2011):
 well there are a number of possibilities of you declaring your FWB intentions
1. he is into some other guy and now feels uncomfortable around you
2. he is into you but doesn't want to be used for just sex
3. he isn't really into men at all and gets creeped out by your intentions
4. he is into you and just wants casual sex
so really i would tread carefully...
ask him more about his crush and get him to reveal more and dont just say- "oh lets have no-strongs sex",- you have to get someone into a situation where they can relax and then read their body language and make yours clearly expressive of your desires. maybe palying computer games on your bed in your bedroom, if that is a possibility as it allows for close contact and lots of competitive exitement which could boil over into playfighting. which could become something else.
good luck
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (19 March 2011):
 I would worry about getting hurt by a guy that doesn't even know if he likes girls or boys. But if you can sleep with him without getting emotionally attached then go for it. Just make sure you always use protection since he is at a higher risk from sexual contact with other men.
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