A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi allI would be grateful if you could offer me some advice about a guy that I like. I like this guy called Tom and he knows my cousin. I’m not sure if I should approach him.You see I don't want to tell my cousin that I like Tom as my cousin (male) might feel awkward as they are friends so I want to message Tom on Facebook. It's a weird situation as we don't really know each other and we haven't crossed paths. I don't normally approach guys on Facebook but it’s not often I find a guy that I am attracted too.On his Facebook page he has a cute dog so I was going to message him on Facebook and say something like 'Hi Tom, I couldn't help but message you to say how cute your dog is, is that really your dog!?' I thought this would be a real ice breaker and hopefully he will respond to me. My question is would it be weird if I message him on Facebook? I don’t want to come across as I’m chasing him or too forward or creepy? I don’t know if guys would be open to women approaching guys online.Also I’m 32 years old but I look young for my age and people can’t tell that I’m in my 30’s whereas I think he is younger than me as my cousin is 30. He looks about 28-30 years old. Tom could be between the ages of 25-30. I’m concerned that if there is an attraction between us that my age might be an issue. Would guys be open to dating someone older than them?Thanks for your advice!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 August 2018):
 I don't think it is a huge age gap and if he knows who you are from your cousin then I don't think it would cause any harm to message him. Go for it and see how you get on, but don't overthink it or you will drive yourself crazy.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (18 August 2018):
 There is POSSIBLY a maximum of 7 years difference in your age. That is hardly a huge age gap, especially when you look younger than you are. I wouldn't let age worry you at all at this stage. Just don't lie to him about it if he asks.
And to answer your question about approaching him on Facebook, why ever not? Do you know he is single? Are YOU single? If the answer to both is affirmative, then ask him about his dog and see if he takes the bait. It will only become creepy if he ignores you and you keep messaging. Otherwise. go for it.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2018): Hi! I think your over thinking it a little, we can all do this, I do myself sometimes.. My opinion is, go for it, you only get one life, I’m against the whole old fashioned thing. I think you should send a message just saying about his dog (like you say), you could even say that you’ve been considering getting that breed yourself and that’s what caught your eye.. Be cool and casual, get chatting then say ‘would you like to go for a coffee sometime’? This is cool, casual and not heavy, it also doesn’t suggest that your intentions are a date (unless your getting a good mutual feeling vibe from him). Just remember that Facebook messages can sometimes get unseen unless your friends.. Good luck and go for it =)
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