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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I have very hard time live in my own dysfunctional family.I know usually teenagers would feel like that , but really ,I' m so upset.Me and my husband can't get along for many reasons.He is working all the time, and never does anything with me. Including sex ,chores, fun, etc.My kids are into drugs, and have no friends.They are very critical with me, using me for punching bagemotional.I tried to fix things in the last 10 years, with self-help,etc, but only me, wanted to fix everything.Now I'm totally disillusioned, and I feel , I have nothing to give.I wanted to ask some opinion here,if would it be very selfish if I would want to leave, and let them figure things out? Because my health is getting weaker, and I don't know how long I could put up with this.. Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): Dear country woman!
I'm the poster and here are the answers for you to see clearly.
Thank you,
-They are over 20 years old..
-They don't do drugs in the house ,its not allowed
_They are doing hard drugs, and got it outside,we don't do any substance, not even a glass of wine...
-They went to rehab several times, we payed for it
_Tried everything tretament psychologist ,private clincics.with no result
_Im getting clinically depressed, and having trouble to find more help for anybody.
As you can understand ,this is my problem, than nothing I did helped, some people thinks ,it is extra oredenary how tragic is this, some religious people thnks its bad karma..
But I just need help,as I can't see any sollution on this point.
Thanks..
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 You say your husband is no longer interested in the family life or intimacy but it sounds like this is not a family life at all.
When you say your kids, what age are they?
How has drugs been allowed to get into the house in the first place and remain there, letting them presumably use in the family home?
Do your kids steal things to pay for the drugs?
What does your husband say about your kids? Has he ever supported you in trying to deal with the situation?
Have you ever said your kids need to get into rehab and move out of the family home?
You say you are the emotional punch bag, but if they are constantly high on drugs etc, then this is not your kids but the drugs talking in my opinion.
What help have you had to deal with what is going on at home i.e. help from outsiders?
Where would you go if you left? Have you thought how you could survive financially and where you could live?
Do you think by leaving there would be any changes at home at all, apart from the fact that you are no longer there?
You say your health is getting weaker, do you have bad health right now? Are you getting any support from your GP for it?
Do you have any family or friend's who can help or support you in any way, a roof over your head or a couch to sleep on initially?
I am just trying to get a clearer view of everything to see if there is anything I can help with on the advice aspect of this as it sounds like hell from where you are coming from and I do feel for you, it can't be easy at all.
Wait to hear from you.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): first if u have money u can get ur kids to the hospital
they're into drugs the least u can do is get them a treatment so u can't just leave them because they're ur KIDS! they're from ur blood
u cn't say that nothin happened just like that !! u need to help them and to help urself at the same time .. it's kinda hard but this is the truth .. just relax for a week try to forget everythin go to a hotel or somethin .. then get back to home and fix EVERYTHING !! if u don't have money go to a charity (church .. )
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A
female
reader, AskSam  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 You sound like a worn out woman who has been taken advantage of for too long. And my heart goes out to you, your children being into drugs must be a very powerfully upsetting thing in your marriage to begin with. You probably have, but have you tried marriage counselling? it would be a shame to throw away your marriage, but if things dont improve at least marriage counselling can at least let you both know how your feeling and if there is any way forward at all. From personal expierience my grandparents had marriage counselling only a few years back, my nan is 70 and my grandad is heading for 80! so its never too late to try and at least it may point you in the right direction. If this is a no no, then you both need to sit down and figure out what you want together, a talk where you lay all your cards and emotions out for him to see. He probably has his own issues and hopefully you can discuss things. Why not go on a holiday for a break, or some time out with friends if they can put you up when times get too stressful. Let your husband know how unhappy you are and what you can do with it, i hope either way things work out for the best.
All my love
sam xxx
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