A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Met this boy online. I'm falling for him but he lives about a hour away from me. Neither of us can drive and I haven't even met him yet. Would it be stupid to start something with him? Or can this actully be the start of something amazing? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (30 December 2009):
I would avoid "starting anything" with him before you have met him in person.
Smellyellie has already pointed out that the internet is crawling with weirdoes and people pretending to be someone they're not - so do be very very careful if you do arrange to meet.
Some people however are genuine but it's very difficult to tell what they're really like when you're both behind a computer and it can be very easy to build up a fantasy ideal.
A couple of examples:
A friend of mine contacted someone via a dating site and exchanged emails with a very charming guy. They chatted via MSN for a while and then arranged a date. The date was pleasant enough but she felt very disappointed. He interrupted and talked over her throughout the entire date. He appeared totally disinterested by anything she had to say. None of this was apparent until they had met in person. It was no great tragedy but a waste of an afternoon (as she put it) and he really fancied her so she had to let him down gently.
One of my own experiences, was meeting a guy who looked nothing like his pictures. I found him totally unattractive and felt slightly nauseous at remembering some of the more flirtatious telephone conversations we'd had. I'm not so shallow as to judge a guy totally on looks and I guess he was harmless enough but he made a couple of slightly racist remarks during the date so that was it. As soon as I got home I deleted and blocked him from everything before I'd even taken off my coat. From that moment on I never had sexually orientated conversations with a guy over the net.
So, if you meet him do it in a crowded public place. Tell someone you trust where you are going and arrange to call in halfway through the date and after the date. Have a handy excuse if you need to get out. Don't get in a car with him - make your own way there and back. Don't drink alcohol or make sure you see the barman pour it and never leave it unsupervised.
If you're over 18 it's your decision but be careful!
A
female
reader, Smellyellie +, writes (30 December 2009):
 you need to be careful you dont no who this boy is properly he could be some sicko for all you know covering up to be a boy that you may be falling for.. for the reason that it is a internet meet up i would say that yes you would be a little silly to start something up with him.. if you are that worried about doing it though trick him and say that if you meet up your mum wants to go with you to make sure that you are safe.. or someone and then if he says NO then you no the guy is not for you..hope that this help :) x
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