A
female
age
30-35,
*ulu31
writes:Hello lovely Cupid’s,Hope you’re all doing well and keeping safe and sane during these difficult times.I posted just before lockdown about the fact id just moved to London to fulfill my lifelong ambition of moving to the city but felt a bit lonely and really wasn’t loving my job as it was extremelly different from what they’d promised in the interview. .Obviously lockdown hasn’t particularly helped this situation whatsoever. I’ve been recently been made redundant from the job and I feel quite relieved. I’ve been given a big final pay check which can last me for the next couple of months - and I’ve been looking and the job market is ridiculously slim.Ironically; where I’m from up in the north has a job which sounds fitting. I am through to the final stage but whilst I’ve been going through this process I’ve started to realise how much I enjoy being a part of london. The creativity, the community, etc.I have a lot of savings and a lot of my friends have recommended I go back up north for a while with a secure job waiting for me and then possibly come back to London - especially as it is not quite the same here with things closed. Everything rationally is telling me to go back to the north. Job potentially waiting, my friends and family are all there etc. But I really don’t want to give up on my dream of being here. I think London brings out a good side of me where I focus on myself, fitness writing etc. I have such a good deal on my house with low rent - my housemates are nice enough and I’m in a good location and I worry if I did come back I wouldn’t get the same opportunity. Would it be silly to keep living here with basically nothing for me?Thanks so much in advance. X
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2020): Nothing is permanent. If you go back up north for a while, nothing is stopping you coming back to london again in the future. And equally of you stay in london you can always change your mind later. At the moment job opportunities are slim so if you are offered a good job and it will further your career then personally I would take it... it will tide you over until the pandemic passes (hopefully). Otherwise your savings will dry up and then you'll have no choice but to go back north and take any old job that's going
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2020): Here I go sticking my oar in And hopefully giving you something else to consider.
I would say 'Go North!'
Yes, London is a unique place but you are going to feel the sharp edge of it without a job.
Creativity comes from within.
I can't see what Northern England doesn't offer.
It looks promising to me and must have much to offer.
You see , you are trying to move forward on your life.
A trendy living set-up is good but each and every one of your housemates would move out to a suitable offer rather than sit around broke.
So the five falls on a ladder and you can move onwards.
That house share has some finite days.
If you are writing a book about your house share are you sure that your housemates are on board with that?
And lovely friends soon go sour when bills aren't paid.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 August 2020):
 If you ask me... well, I am the wrong person to ask because I carry on a long love story with London ( where I lived, even if not for a long time, and subsequently came back to for vacations more than 20 times ). While there's no money enough which would convince me to live in the North - no disrespect meant; as a matter of fact, the people I have met in Leeds , Bradford and York are simply the nicest ever, and their politeness and kindness just blew my mind; yet... thanks but no thanks :).
So, I am prejudiced. But, one has got to be practical too in these uncertain times with even more uncertain future. If you've got a solid , well rewarded job offer in your native area, -it's nothing to scoff at, and I understand your indecision.
What I probably would do... in general I am all for " follow your heart's desire and all will be well ", but you should assess if living in London is really, truly, deeply your heart's desire. What I mean is that some times we desire not the real thing but the glamorous , rosy image we made of it in our mind. We desire not what it is, but what we feel we " should " desire. Because our social circle , or our family, say it is desirable, or the media say it's desirable, etc. Maybe ( I am playing devil's advocate here ) you 'd prefer London because being in London is hipper and trendier than being in, say, Manchester. Because being a Londoner makes you more "woke " and " with it ". Or because, living in a huge city, you always get this sense that something new and exciting and wonderful is waiting for you just around the next corner... while instead of course there are millions of people who live lives of desperate boredom ,drudgery and fatigue also in London, Paris or New York. I am saying this because you sound a bit disappointed with London, and say you feel lonely , and seem to miss your old friends. So, maybe not totally " sold " on London and clinging to it just because London was always , in the past , your dream...
But you have to think it over well, because dreams too change in time , with our change of tastes and priorities, and some dreams are only age- and -life stage appropriate ,then no more. It happened to me, I had started " California dreaming " since when I was a child- with no practical way or means to ever go there. I was in love though with the West Coast rock... the hippy movement... Easy Rider ... the books by Raymond Chandler and Ross MacDonald and John Fante... Well, twists and turns of fate, all of a sudden I find myself plopped in the middle of L.A, and in a very posh neighborhood too. Had a blast, didn't I ? well... not really. In L.A. you have to drive everywhere, I was a bad and anxious driver, some times I could not sleep at night anticipating the next traffic jam where I'd get stuck . And, I was a 30something wife and mother with a young child, in a place so geared toward youth, fitness, singletude and partying, that being a wife and mother felt , more than just " basic ", outrageous. And .. the damn heat , and the ( hazy, because of pollution ) sun 365 days a year, no seasons. Add the riots, the earthquake... in short, after a while we moved to New York and THAT was exactly what the doctor ordered for me, my natural turf, my heart's home- also if I would not have guessed that before actually going there.
So, after careful and sincere introspection, - try to assess if London is really your heart's desire, or just your ego's desire. If you feel you are in love with the place as you could be with a person- then though it out and stay. That too, within reason. Try to mediate. Probably it is not wise to hold on until you have finished not only your severance pay, but also your savings ( and maybe your parents' ). The job market situation is what it is, not brilliant. Then again, if you have the exceptional luck ( for London ) to pay low rent in a good location- yeah, that's a deal that you may not find again if you go home and then come back to London later .
So, gave yourself a time limit. Only you know what limit, if you can afford to hold on for 12 more months, or 6 or 4... Decide a reasonable time and stick to it. The money you will be spending to support yourself, consider it more an investment than a gamble. Sure, it could happen that by the time limit you fixed you haven't found another job and eventually you have to go home anyway. But it's not wasted money- it's money invested in searching your North star, your realization, your happiness. Sure, some times investments do not pay off, at least not as much as one had planned. Then again, you can't make an omelette without breaking the eggs, and , if you believe in your dream, you should be willing to risk something ( not all ) to make it happen.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 August 2020):
 Going up North for work, family and stability is smart.
The likelihood of finding decent accommodations in London is always a roll of the dice, so I do get that, but there really isn't enough for you to stick around and LIVE. What happens when your money runs out? Then you will have to move up North regardless.
House shares are a dime a dozen. Stability is not.
If I were you, I'd move home, find a job and start saving up. SERIOUSLY saving up. And when "ye ole plague" is over, you can look for jobs in London again, unless you absolutely love the job you have found up North.
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