A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am a single mother and i have a gorgeous 3 year old son. For the past year i have been wanting another baby but i don't want to be in a relationship. I'm happy being on my own. Would it be selfish of me to have another child? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your advice and input. I do work so am financially stable. My son is also in a nursery setting which is building a strong routine for him which will continue when he goes to school and i have many friends and family members who help and provide support. I think i will talk to them first though as i don't want to take advantage of their help and have them feel that i expect their help with another child. I have a single mother too and i would like another child to complete my family and also provide company for my son. I have 2 sisters who i would have been lost without growing up. Thank you all for putting my mind at ease about being selfish and for giving me different points of view to consider. I certainly won't make any rash decisions
A
female
reader, cindy 15 +, writes (29 September 2010):
 no no why would it make you selfish in any way
i have a single mum and not once did i ever think that i needed anything else a single parent can be just as loving as 2 but you have to think about this are you truly prepared on when the child is going to grow up and ask why havnt i got a daddy as i have ask this
to sum up
no your not selfish NO
and i hope the best of luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 I don't see why it would make you selfish. There are MANY great single parents out there.
I do think, however, that if possible a child should have as many as possible good adult role models of both genders.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): Wait until your son starts school to decide, why? Because while I'm sure you miss the stage where he was a baby and want that again with another child and all the other reasons you want another one. At the moment he requires your full attention, he'll require that when he starts school and he'll require a firm routine in place for school, which comprise the next 12 years of his life.
You need to set that all up first before you consider turning it all on it's head again. Having a second child is not just double the work, it's way more than double the work and it's a huge financial burden too.
I don't think it's selfish, if you have the financial means and a good support structure already around you then it's doable. But I think right now is not the right time to decide. First get settled into life with your 3 year old. Get past the major transition from 24 hour mum to giving you a few hours break during the day while he's at school.
What I'm saying is make sure you have the money, not just enough to scrape by, but enough to live comfortably. If you have family that are already helping you rear your son then discuss with them the possibility of a second, it's only fair seeing as they're going to be the ones sharing the workload with you as you won't have a partner to do it.
Above all make sure you're doing this for the right reasons, not just because you're broody but because you feel this is the best time, you have the right tools and people around you and you won't be taking away from your son the stuff you owe him as his mother, you owe him the best possible life you can possibly give him, you have to ask yourself if you can give him that while half of your resources, time and love is spent on another child.
Give yourself some time and research all angles on this, that's the least he deserves.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (29 September 2010):
 A single parent can be just as loving as a couple.
Providing you can support another child and love it with all your heart then theres nothing to feel selfish for.
However you should be prepared for when the child gets older and starts asking wheres daddy?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 Tough call to say the least, i guess we all just hope that we come from a stable home with two loving parents but in saying that single moms can be just as strong, if you decide to have another child, just make sure that the dad is involved in his or her life as every child deserves to have two parents to turn to. Good Luck.
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