A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok I have known two wonderful guy "A" business man and "B"a doctor which i just knew...this two relationship is a long distance relationship."A" i have knew him like around for a month and we so madly in loved with each other but he is always so busy in his business only have a little time for me....and he even scan his personal document to me...which nobody will do such things and he shown me his truthfulness and i am very glad and we started to build very bond to each other now...but then suddenly came "B" he is a doctor and he too like me and i have not build any relationship with him really yet...but he already fallen for me and i am a very indecisive person and with this indecisive i have damage my relationship with another guy before....as for this two man.. i keep telling myself don't get into the same situation that had before...i must grab tight to "A" don't let go....but is just my indecisive brain.....keep wondering around and telling me date both but then if i dated both of them it will like back to square one... As "B" i didn't fall for him yet but have been thinking about this person thou. What should i do ? is there a cure to my indecisive?...i knew i should follow my hearts.....is just that indecisiveness .....gosh..please help me......
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (30 September 2010):
Hi there. At the moment, it's not necessary to choose between them is it? There's no real hurry. These things you can't rush, and to do so would be totally wrong. It really is a case of everything in good time. What is to be can't be forced to happen any sooner that it's meant to.
It seems pretty clear which one of these men is more attentive, don't you think? The thing is, do you like him as much as he likes you? You have to ask yourself this question, and be honest.
Perhaps the chemistry is there with the first one, but not so much with the doctor and you. Sometimes, chemistry can develop, but more often it is there right from the beginning.
With regards the first man, who you have said you were very much in love with, he really does not have much free time. So extra emails in his mailbox probably almost overwhelm him. When you are busy (as he is), it's hard trying to find the time to answer emails anyway. It becomes quite a challenge. So consequently, there's a reason for you not always getting replies.
From now on, just stop all your emails and texts to him altogether. Then wait and see how long it is before he contacts you. When he does, it will most likely be a phone call - not an email. A phone call is much more personal. However, you do need to wait for him to do so. Don't get impatient and become frantic and just call him - or start the emails and texts again. Don't go down that path anymore - it's pointless. He might withdraw from you completely.
To continue with the emails and texting, is not working, and will almost certainly lead to a breakup with no second chances. Believe me, you don't want that.
Another point I should mention here, is if you continue on doing this, it can make you appear needy and desperate which are not attractive qualities in a woman. It feels to the man like you are depending on him heavily, to make you happy.
So give him some space, and get on with your own life and start having fun, and this will give you something else to think about other than him. By making your own life more interesting and exciting, you will get a whole new perspective on life. You must stay happy and positive.
You will get a much more favourable outcome from stepping right back from it. During this process, you need to be patient. You are more likely to hear from him if you break all contact as soon as possible.
To avoid ever looking needy and desperate, (as the emails and texts make you seem), it's simply a case of believing in yourself and knowing that you are already perfect as a human being, and deserve the best always. Don't let yourself be treated badly or taken for granted by anyone. Accept only the best treatment from everyone - no exceptions. You deserve the best in life, it's true. Treat other people the same way you would like to be treated.
Hope this offers you help. Good luck and best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi is me again they are both staying on UK and not sure if they staying near each other but i am sure they don't knew each other at all. Also i have not told either one of each other...."A" is a business man he hardly got time now to even chat to me online or hardly call me when only i complain to him in an email or sms ....but he never reply all my sms and as for emails i have send out to him almost 20plus emails he only reply me 2emails...he always say he is a busy man and i always tell him i only need you reply a normal email to me and not writing a journal as for sms i even told him only wants him to reply me yes or ok...not much to ask right? he always say he promises to reply my sms and emails but he never keep his promises...which i don't like it.As for "B" i just knew him but he will take his time to send ma a offline messages asking how i am...every night and in the day he will chat with me awhile before start he's work...so two different person and i really don't knew how to choose...i really likes "A" but "B" shown me that "A" didn't have time to do....sigh....really lost....pls advice...thank you....Angelfair
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A
female
reader, samantha7171  +, writes (30 September 2010):
I think that the writer before me as said it all. These are fearly new relationships and that is why you are indecesive about your decision. i think that you need to evaluate them individually. Do they both reside in the same state? If not then go through the dating process as normal and make the best decision based on what you are looking for. Don't make any hasty decisions.
I do hope that this can assist you the best way possible.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (29 September 2010):
Hi there. Do they know about each other? Have you told each of them that you are seeing someone else?
In the end you will have to be honest with both of them, as they will mistakingly believe they are the only one. Then you will have a problem on your hands.
Dating two different men could become a bit awkward over time, especially if one calls you while you are out with the other one. It will be pretty obvious that you are talking to another man. This is something for you to seriously think about.
If you do start to get calls from one man while you're out with the other, eventually you will end up with no-one. Nobody wants to know they are being two-timed.
You will know when it is time to disclose this information. That time will be when you start to get serious about one of them. Don't wait too long to talk about this. It's one of Life's great lessons.
In any case, honesty is always the best policy. You don't want to start lying to either of them, regardless of how you feel. You wouldn't like it done to you, I'm sure.
Please think about this very carefully.
The reason you can't decide might just be that you like them both. But as with everything, over time you will get to know who you have more in common with. The two relationships are probably still quite new, so you really don't know either of them very well at the moment. This would definitely be a reason for indecisiveness.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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