A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy last August from an online dating website . We had an instant connection and had many fantastic dates. I didnt sleep with him immediately . He then disappeared without any contact for a week then i got a text saying sorry he was broke and depressed . Since then we have had the occasional text and we are friends on fb. He has now been given a good work contract and seems happier. Wespoke recently and he was very apologetic for his previous behaviour and asked if we could try again . I do really care and have feelings for him . Am I crazy by even considering getting involved again. He also drinks quite a lot but im not sure he has a drink problem as i didnt spend enough time with him. He is quite an extrene person but i feel such a pull towards seeing him again . We have a very strong physical attraction too so its going to be difficult jyst being friends i think. Tia. X
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2013): Yes you are a little crazy, you're thinking with your clit and not with your head.
You say he's an extreme person with a pretty negative tone OP. Plus he's also shown a tendency to close himself off when things go bad. Well OP life has a tendency of throwing bad situations at us, you've seen how he deals with stuff like that, sounds like a roller-coaster kind of person.
To be fair if you didn't have such a wide-on for this guy then I'd say go for it and have some fun, but the fact is you're a bit too emotionally invested in this guy already to mitigate the emotional risk he represents.
To me this situation is obvious and it's very clear how it'll play out. You wouldn't have come here to ask for advice if your gut wasn't telling you it's a bad idea. You're definitely not going to keep resisting and you will end up "going again" with him. The clit wants what the clit wants and you're not going to stop it.
Just be smart about this OP and take precautions. If you think his drinking may be a problem trust yourself and walk away. If he ditches you again because he's broke and depressed, get rid of him. Set yourself some limits and stick to them.
One week of feeling depressed and not contacting you isn't too bad, but a second chance is all he should get. You don't need a guy who will blow hot and cold.
A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (27 December 2013):
 Well in the grand scheme of things I cant see something he has done here to not warrant at least a chance. His explanation fits, especially as you seem to have noticed an upswing in his mood connected to an improving work situation. All he did was disappear for a week for reasons that are understandable in the circumstances. Depressed people do sometimes cut themselves off in such a way.
Drinking alot isnt a sin in itself, if hes drink dependent then yes he does have a problem but I still wouldnt even see that as a bar to involvement (unless it was serious, turned him temper wise, etc, etc).
You say hes quite 'extreme' in what way? Maybe behind that phrase some reason for caution does exist but on what you have said here I see no reason you shouldnt at least give it another shot.
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