A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in long distance relationship since 1 and half year. I'm 18 years old and my boyfriend is 20. We talk on phone daily and we have seen each others pic.We are going to meet next year. My boyfriend wants to video chat with me on 31st December. I want to video chat too but I'm nervous. I love my boyfriend a lot and I trust him. He is short-tempered, he gets angry over little thing but he loves me a lot. When he is angry he hurts me badly with his words but when he calms down he says sorry. I feel like I'm ugly, I feel that way because I have braces and my dentist is going to take it off after 6 months. I wanted to video chat with him after 6 months but he says that he wants to video chat on 31st December. My boyfriend says that he likes me the way I am and he doesn't care about braces. I'm so confused and nervous. What do I do/talk about and what if there's an awkward silence? Please help me.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 December 2013):
 OH yes for sure YOU DO NOT TAKE OFF ANY CLOTHES... no showing of body parts that the general public does not see....
A
female
reader, Rodz +, writes (28 December 2013):
 RED FLAG! He has a temper. RED FLAG! RED FLAG! When someone cares for you. They won't make you do something your not comfortable with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2013): You say you love him, but you have never yet met him. He is verbally abusive. In real life this could get A LOT WORSE!
It would be awfully difficult but really everyone who reads this must be thinking the same, cut this guy off. I have been with my now husband 8 years, he's never once raised his voice at me let alone offended me so much it warranted an apology. A man who is willing to treat a woman like he is treating you is not really a man, he sounds like an awful person. Actions speak a lot louder than words, yes he says sorry to you every time but if he truly meant that sorry then he wouldn't do it again to you.
Please tree carefully with this man. Personally, I would block his number and just cut him off, if a person who said they loved me spoke to me more than once in a way that hurt me then I would have to question whether they actually loved me. Also - he stops you talking to other men, yes you say your culture doesn't really agree with that but he has no right to tell you not to talk to people. That is another warning sign that this man is not a person I would want as a partner.
If you do meet, I recommend you are accompanied by someone.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 December 2013):
You have been LDR for 18 months
you say you are meeting "next year" as in January of 2014 or as in December of 2014... that's a big huge difference.
18 months together and you have not met in person or seen each other live on video.... not really much of a relationship at this point.
In addition, your "bf" is abusive to you verbally. A man who is short tempered and HURTS YOU BADLY with his words and has the need to constantly APOLOGIZE for his BAD behavior is not a man worth your time and effort. Because trust me IN PERSON it only gets worse.
you talk about the same things on video chat as you do on the phone... what do you talk to him on the phone about? It's the same thing.
I have friends who are married. they live apart due to work (but see each other every weekend pretty much) and they video chat nightly when apart... they just leave the video up and watch tv together or talk about their day like they are in the same room with each other.. .I've even spent time with her while he's online and we wave and say hi.... just like he's with us on a weekend...
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@iAmHereToHelpYou- He gets angry when I don't listen to him and he is little possessive. Sometimes I don't like the way he treats me, for example he don't allow me to talk to any guy friends. When I ask him the reason for it, he says that he is protective about me, we live in India where a socitey points on a character of a girl if she talks to other guys. I'm loyal to my boyfriend, I never cheated on him. There are many other things of him which hurts me a lot but I can never think of leaving him because I love him a lot. When he is angry he will yell at me, hurt me but when he calms down, he apologize for his behaviour. He loves me a lot. We can talk whole night on call and we talk for 8 hours daily. We are going to video chat for first time, thats why I'm nervous. I never did video chat with anyone and I don't have any idea about it. How should I make him laugh? What should we talk about? etc.
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