A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, My name is Bree. 2 years ago my mother died and it has been sad and rough for my Dad and I. When my mom died it really broke my Dad's heart, he loved her so much and misses her, and I miss her too. But last month my Dad told me he met another woman and that they are boyfriend and girlfriend. My Dad is 52 and she is 30, they met at work, she's a new lawyer in my Dad's Law Firm. I met my dad and her for dinner, and she's very beautiful, funny, and smart. I could tell my Dad is happy again and that she makes him happy. During dinner she wanted to see if her and I could have a girl's only day where her and I could spend the day together and get to know each other better. She could I wasn't sure about it and just told me to think about it and let her know. I want to spend the day with my dad's girlfriend and get to know her better, but my problem is I feel like I would be betraying my mom If do this. I still miss her a lot and think about her. How should I do this?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 March 2017):
 Your post brought a tear to my eye. Your mother would be very proud off the young woman who raised her, she would also be happy that your dad has found someone else. It is not that he does not love your mum any more its just that he has accepted she is gone and has moved on. You will always have the memory off your mum. But it is okay to get close to your dads girlfriend also. You could become very good friends. Let us know how you get on.
A
female
reader, Campari Milano  +, writes (26 February 2017):
I think It was very smart your dad's girlfriend to give you some time to think about it. I can tell you, if you weren't getting on in the first place, she probably would have waited a while before suggesting a girl's day.
You Know in your heart that your mum would want you and your dad to be happy.
This woman is never even going to try and replace your mum. If you and her can get on that can only be a good thing. You might find her being someone that you can talk to when you are really hurting and missing your mum.
Defintitely give it a try.
Life is so hard, and if people want to try and be nice to you, let them!
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (24 February 2017):
If your mom loved your father the best thing you could do to honor her memory would be to befriend his new lady friend. After all she would want the man she loved to be happy.
Yes she is young but don't hold that against her.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 February 2017):
 You say your Dad is happy, ask yourself if Mom would want him to be happy or miserable for the rest of his life.
I think you already know the answer :-)
Enjoy your day out, take your time getting to know Dad' girlfriend, there is no reason to rush into being best buds straight up but the hand of friendship has been offered and there is no reason to refuse it.
I hope everything turns out wonderful for all of you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): If you do accept her that is what would honor your mother's memory......It would mean she raised you right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2017): We are allowed to have more people in our lives than just one or two. It's not a betrayal to get to know her. Your mother has her own place in your heart, but there is always room for more people in a persons heart. It doesn't mean your mom will be pushed away.
But, it could be that you think it's too soon to go on a girls only day with her. I mean you met her only once. She is still a stranger. Maybe suggest to her that you all have a family dinner again (and if you feel more comfortable with it then, suggest dates for her and you to meet up).
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (24 February 2017):
 She's closer in age to you than your dad, so I think any relationship between you would be more like friends than parental.
Honouring your mum's memory is about making her proud of you, not isolating yourself from people your dad may date. Most people wouldn't want their significant other to stay single after they pass away.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 February 2017):
 I don't think you would be betraying your Mom's memory.
Your Mom is your Mom forever and nobody will ever be able to take away her role in your life and her place in your heart. Ever.
But, as cruel as it may sound to a mourning child, life goes on. Your Dad was sad and lonely, and now he has met a person that makes him feel better and makes him happy again -and that 's a good thing. I don't think that your father wants you to consider his gf a parental figure , or a new mom, or even an important influence in your life. He just wants to see you in civil, friendly terms, and maybe hopefully become friends IF it turns out you get along.
Give her a chance :). After all she is just about 10 years older than you, I doubt she wants to establish herself as " potential stepmother " she just wants to get to know you because you are such an important life of the man she is with. This has got nothing to do with the special exclusive bond that you had in fact, that you HAVE, and always will have, with your dear mother.
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