A
female
age
36-40,
*artyprincess
writes:Ive been dating a kurdish man for 3 years now maybe more hes security on club doors in marmaris ... hes not like the usual he has money own home ,own car and has no interst in coming to england (believe me i have tried many times to get him here )...off back to ee him in three weeks and he keeps asking to marry me ,,he ony admted 2 years ago that he loves me and i love him ... MY problem being i think he is going to propose when i go over as much as i want to i hear so many story of men wanting visas and cannot think for what reason apart from he loves me what his reasons would be for me to marry him ??? pls help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 April 2010):
 If you don't trust him then don't marry him. I would say that the 'marriage of visa convenience' is not as common as some sections of the right-wing media would like to present. My husband is a non-EU national and it took a legal battle with the Home Office of gigantic proportions involving court rooms, silly amounts of proof of a relationship, my husband passing English and General Knowledge exams and the costs of a barrister to get him a settlement visa...he didn't have a criminal background or anything sinister, it can just be hard to persuade jobs-worths of the truth. When his probationary period was up for the settlement visa I was heavily pregnant and the Home Office clerk looked at my stomach and implied it wasn't his! The moral of the story is that it can be hard work convincing the authorities that the marriage is genuine and will last. If you are thinking of marriage then you need to seek legal advice from an immigration solicitor or specialist welfare centre if you wish him to live in the UK permanently. This is because you will have to prove to the Home office that you are genuinely married, able to live and support your spouse without public funds (benefits/ welfare payments) and you have adequate private housing. I would say that you need to set aside the hearts and flowers of the situation of potential marriage and both look at the practical issues calmly and rationally.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): If you are asking the question then you shouldn't marry him
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (11 April 2010):
 If your questioning his motives, then you probably shouldn't marry him.
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